Are you F***ING kidding us?
What was that series? No, really, what was it? Our offense shows up for one night, and not only do we lose by one run, it's the one night that Verlander pitches like a middle schooler? The next two nights our team loses AGAIN by one run (!) after Anibal Sanchez and Rick Porcello give up 1 and 2 runs, respectively(!!!)???
Kansas City has definitely played the roll of spoiler before. Why should now be any different? We'll tell you why. Because our team is BETTER THAN THIS. They do not suck. They can still win it. But that was the worst series of the year, by far BAR NONE. Offense, get yo shit together. We have Prince Fielder and Miguel Cabrera (albeit injured) on the SAME TEAM. COME ON. Justin Verlander: hello?!? Is precious Kate Upton distracting you or are you just being severely un-clutch? This is the playoff push, guys. This is where we go hard or go home.
Please be advised: we are not panicking. We can still do this. Please--we have seven games head-to-head against the White Sox. Anything can happen. Props to them, by the way, for TRYING to at least let us get within a game of them. It seems like our last open plea worked! Unfortunately, our boys didn't listen. And that is the heart of this post. Pure, unbridled frustration. Seeing all this potential and skill and AWESOMENESS all on one team go to waste with bullshit games like that. If we want to make it to the playoffs, we are going to have to collect our shit, take the series from the White Sox this weekend, and play like we know we can play.
But really. The goddamn Royals? Swept?? Is this real life???
If the Tigers are anywhere near as pissed and mad and fired up as we are right now (we guarantee that they are) then they need to take out all that rage on those idiots from Chicago. With Fister, Scherzer, and Verlander taking the mound, we can smell a series win. If our boys play like we know they can.
Showing posts with label Rants and Raves. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rants and Raves. Show all posts
Friday, August 31, 2012
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Snatching Victory from the Jaws of Defeat (and Vice Versa)
We love sports. Obviously, if you're reading this blog, you know that we do. We especially love baseball. Again, pretty obvious. But there are some annoying patterns that really drive us crazy. Perhaps the most annoying pattern of all is one that our Tigers currently experienced/are experiencing: just when we think they're about to gain momentum and go on some winning streak and everyone starts to click, we fall apart (read: Monday night's game). We lose. We fail.
At least, that's what the three of us thought yesterday as we watched our boys fall into an 0-6 hole. Oh great, we thought. Anemic offense and pathetic pitching. Thus is the story of our season so far. So soon had we forgotten the glory that was last year's comeback against the White Sox. And it happened again. In one inning, no less. Miguel Cabrera and Austin Jackson continued to be all kinds of awesome with their home runs, and Ryan Raburn decided to remember how to hit a ball and drove in for runs, including his first homer of the season. Not. Too. Shabby.
Is this finally the game that can get our boys, who we know to be capable of so much, on track? Four out of five (sorry Max) starting pitchers are looking good-if-not-great. Prince Fielder is waking up, Cabrera is alive, and Jackson is unstoppable. Hell, look at Andy Dirks. He's doing a better Boesch impersonation than Brennan himself, and Dirks has the defense to back himself up. Yes, it does look like our team is starting to put the pieces together, but to every silver lining there is a cloud.
At least, that's what the three of us thought yesterday as we watched our boys fall into an 0-6 hole. Oh great, we thought. Anemic offense and pathetic pitching. Thus is the story of our season so far. So soon had we forgotten the glory that was last year's comeback against the White Sox. And it happened again. In one inning, no less. Miguel Cabrera and Austin Jackson continued to be all kinds of awesome with their home runs, and Ryan Raburn decided to remember how to hit a ball and drove in for runs, including his first homer of the season. Not. Too. Shabby.
Is this finally the game that can get our boys, who we know to be capable of so much, on track? Four out of five (sorry Max) starting pitchers are looking good-if-not-great. Prince Fielder is waking up, Cabrera is alive, and Jackson is unstoppable. Hell, look at Andy Dirks. He's doing a better Boesch impersonation than Brennan himself, and Dirks has the defense to back himself up. Yes, it does look like our team is starting to put the pieces together, but to every silver lining there is a cloud.
It definitely speaks to the level of the AL Central when our boys are sitting pretty (?) at .500 in the middle of May and only 2 games out of first place. And granted, not everyone is playing poorly, as we've stated in earlier blog posts. But as everyone should realize by now, whenever you're doing something in a group you're only as good as your weakest link. The below-average fan or above-average MLive commenter would scream "RAYBURN! He's our weakest link! We shouldda never've released Brandon Inge! I always knew I loved that guy!! Screw Rayburn send him to Toledo!!!!" Guess what, idiots? Ryan Raburn is not our biggest problem. Look at what he did in yesterday's game! Obviously it isn't enough to overlook a pretty poor start to the season, but he is not what's keeping our team down. No, to even a casual Tigers viewer, it's no secret who the culprit is.
THE BULLPEN.
Ah, yes. Public Enemies #1, 2, 3, 4, 5 & 6 (we're leaving out Duane Below). Over the past month these guys have really screwed us by blowing leads or giving up runs in tie game situations. It is a joke and proof of the irrelevance of the win statistic that Collin Balester is 2-0 right now, picking up the win in yesterday's game. Look at poor Drew "No Decision" Smyly. Boy is pitching like he's a veteran and is either a) getting no early run support, or b) getting shafted by his bullpen.
We've learned to view this season with a suspicious and wary eye. Just when we think our boys are on a roll, they disappoint us. Conversely, when we are so fed up we can barely watch, the Tigers surprise us by playing a great game. Sooner or later, they'll show their true colors, and with a homestand against the (shitty) Twins and the (shitty) Pirates, we hope our boys will get hot and stay that way.
THE BULLPEN.
Ah, yes. Public Enemies #1, 2, 3, 4, 5 & 6 (we're leaving out Duane Below). Over the past month these guys have really screwed us by blowing leads or giving up runs in tie game situations. It is a joke and proof of the irrelevance of the win statistic that Collin Balester is 2-0 right now, picking up the win in yesterday's game. Look at poor Drew "No Decision" Smyly. Boy is pitching like he's a veteran and is either a) getting no early run support, or b) getting shafted by his bullpen.
We've learned to view this season with a suspicious and wary eye. Just when we think our boys are on a roll, they disappoint us. Conversely, when we are so fed up we can barely watch, the Tigers surprise us by playing a great game. Sooner or later, they'll show their true colors, and with a homestand against the (shitty) Twins and the (shitty) Pirates, we hope our boys will get hot and stay that way.
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Oy.
Well. We needed to get at least one win in this series, didn't we? Going 1-6 in our own homefield (with a humiliating sweep by the Mariners) and losing a game we should have won to the Yankees was bad enough.The worst, however, came at 3 AM Friday morning when our own Delmon Young was arrested.
This has been a tough week and a half. Losing three series in a row--and going a depressing 2-8 during that stretch--hasn't done much to raise our morale. We know we've been preaching that the Tigers will get it together, it's only April, blah blah blah. All this is still true, and we are 99% confident that our team will eventually figure their shit out and comfortably win the division. And if we win tomorrow, we will technically be above .500 for the month of April. And looking at our ridiculous hard April schedule contrasted with a much-easier May, this can only bode well.
Like we said, however, we've got some major things to figure out. Max Scherzer, for instance. He seems to be reverting back to his old schizophrenic self, and now we're just waiting for that game when it all clicks for him and he starts pitching like Ace #3 again. For now, however, its frustrating watching anyone not named Justin Verlander, Drew Smyly, Octavio Dotel, or Duane Below pitch. Our relief core has been mediocre at best to abysmal at worst.
The hitters, too, need to start picking it up. Though there has been a few positive signs: (Miguel Cabrera coming back from his slump with a vengeance, Prince Fielder's continued production, Austin Jackson proving himself as a capable leadoff man) the lineup is not clicking as a whole. Yet. Just like last year, we predict they will start really coming together pretty soon. You can only keep hitters as talented as these down for a matter of time, though why they are "down" at all is kind of confusing. We should be murdering opposing pitchers, even at this early stage in the season.
This leads us to the most pressing matter--Delmon Young's arrest. We're not going to go too far into what we think about his alleged screaming of hateful Jewish slurs while extremely intoxicated, and that's mostly because we don't know enough information yet. But if everything said in the papers is true (and according to our hero Dave Dombrowski, it's not) then our opinion of Delmon's character is significantly lower.
Some people wonder if this kind of thing can damage a team, and question whether our clubhouse will rebound from it. Hello? Remember last year when our best player was arrested for a DUI, which was his second brush with the law involving alcohol? Yeah, we do too, and guess what? Our team (and the player in question) bounced back just fine. That being said, this situation is pleasant for no one, and it is one of the last things that our boys need right now. But this is something that they can recover from.
Long story short, we still have a lot (and we mean a lot) of confidence in our team. But this shit ain't pretty, and the team needs to rally around one another in this time of need and turn this slump around.
This has been a tough week and a half. Losing three series in a row--and going a depressing 2-8 during that stretch--hasn't done much to raise our morale. We know we've been preaching that the Tigers will get it together, it's only April, blah blah blah. All this is still true, and we are 99% confident that our team will eventually figure their shit out and comfortably win the division. And if we win tomorrow, we will technically be above .500 for the month of April. And looking at our ridiculous hard April schedule contrasted with a much-easier May, this can only bode well.
Like we said, however, we've got some major things to figure out. Max Scherzer, for instance. He seems to be reverting back to his old schizophrenic self, and now we're just waiting for that game when it all clicks for him and he starts pitching like Ace #3 again. For now, however, its frustrating watching anyone not named Justin Verlander, Drew Smyly, Octavio Dotel, or Duane Below pitch. Our relief core has been mediocre at best to abysmal at worst.
The hitters, too, need to start picking it up. Though there has been a few positive signs: (Miguel Cabrera coming back from his slump with a vengeance, Prince Fielder's continued production, Austin Jackson proving himself as a capable leadoff man) the lineup is not clicking as a whole. Yet. Just like last year, we predict they will start really coming together pretty soon. You can only keep hitters as talented as these down for a matter of time, though why they are "down" at all is kind of confusing. We should be murdering opposing pitchers, even at this early stage in the season.
This leads us to the most pressing matter--Delmon Young's arrest. We're not going to go too far into what we think about his alleged screaming of hateful Jewish slurs while extremely intoxicated, and that's mostly because we don't know enough information yet. But if everything said in the papers is true (and according to our hero Dave Dombrowski, it's not) then our opinion of Delmon's character is significantly lower.
Some people wonder if this kind of thing can damage a team, and question whether our clubhouse will rebound from it. Hello? Remember last year when our best player was arrested for a DUI, which was his second brush with the law involving alcohol? Yeah, we do too, and guess what? Our team (and the player in question) bounced back just fine. That being said, this situation is pleasant for no one, and it is one of the last things that our boys need right now. But this is something that they can recover from.
Long story short, we still have a lot (and we mean a lot) of confidence in our team. But this shit ain't pretty, and the team needs to rally around one another in this time of need and turn this slump around.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Good, but not Great. Yet.
Ah, the joys of April (in the D). Teams are just starting out and things can either go great, as evidenced with our boys' recent series at Kansas City, or they can be a liiiiitle shaky, as shown by the four game series with the evil horrible arrogant druggie Texas Rangers. Megan was able to go to Game 3 and see JV and the boys kick some Texas ass (which she will write a review on later) but in the other three games we fans got to see our boys clearly out-pitched, out-hit, and outplayed. DISASTER!
Disaster indeed. At least, that's what the Lynn Hennings of the world would have you think. We're gonna give it to you straight. Our team right now is good, and we have the potential to be absolutely phenomenal, but as of right now we are not better thanthose dickheads who beat us in the ALCS Texas. In fact, after seeing their crazy-good offense do some WORK against our pitchers in the first two games, we would venture to say that, as of right now, three weeks into the season, Texas has the best offense in the game.
One important thing to note about the paragraph above: we are only three weeks into the season. We are 10-6 after playing Boston, Tampa Bay, and Texas. We should consider it a triumph if we make it out of this month with a winning record. At this point last year we looked about a million times worse, and we ended up wining the Central by fifteen games. So everyone who's losing their s**t needs to take a freaking pill.
We should point out, however, that though our team looks good (but not great) and there are some major question marks (Inge, Raburn, Daniel "ThankGodHesInTripleA" Schlereth), there have been two glimmering, hopeful lights. And those lights belong to these two young men.
Yes, Drew Smyly and Duane Below, the final two candidates for the number five spot in the starting rotation. As we all well know, Smyly got the job and has performed extremely well, putting in two quality starts in a row (and getting robbed of his first win in the second one). He took a pitch in the back (someone's out to get our starters) and had to deal with the aforementioned Ranger's Murderer's Row, but recovered from both of those things and has done extremely well for a rookie starter. We like what we see in him.
Duane Below, who is bound to be overlooked, has also done incredibly well, not allowing a run or even a walk in four relief appearances. His most impressive job came yesterday afternoon when he tossed six scoreless innings against a ridiculous lineup. He looked like he should have that starting job instead of Adam Wilk, who so far looks pretty average in his replacement role for Doug Fister. Please, please please come back soon Dougie.
This isn't going to be an easy month. We have a tough schedule and some ill-timed injuries, but we would much rather struggle in April then in September. This team may not burst out of the gate like those hicks from Texas, but they'll get it eventually. And when they do…watch out.
PS-We weren't aware you could hit the ball of your knee and put it in play!?!?! Amazing!!!!!!!! We would tell Inge to try it, but his are pretty weak...
Disaster indeed. At least, that's what the Lynn Hennings of the world would have you think. We're gonna give it to you straight. Our team right now is good, and we have the potential to be absolutely phenomenal, but as of right now we are not better than
One important thing to note about the paragraph above: we are only three weeks into the season. We are 10-6 after playing Boston, Tampa Bay, and Texas. We should consider it a triumph if we make it out of this month with a winning record. At this point last year we looked about a million times worse, and we ended up wining the Central by fifteen games. So everyone who's losing their s**t needs to take a freaking pill.
We should point out, however, that though our team looks good (but not great) and there are some major question marks (Inge, Raburn, Daniel "ThankGodHesInTripleA" Schlereth), there have been two glimmering, hopeful lights. And those lights belong to these two young men.
 |
Yes, Drew Smyly and Duane Below, the final two candidates for the number five spot in the starting rotation. As we all well know, Smyly got the job and has performed extremely well, putting in two quality starts in a row (and getting robbed of his first win in the second one). He took a pitch in the back (someone's out to get our starters) and had to deal with the aforementioned Ranger's Murderer's Row, but recovered from both of those things and has done extremely well for a rookie starter. We like what we see in him.
Duane Below, who is bound to be overlooked, has also done incredibly well, not allowing a run or even a walk in four relief appearances. His most impressive job came yesterday afternoon when he tossed six scoreless innings against a ridiculous lineup. He looked like he should have that starting job instead of Adam Wilk, who so far looks pretty average in his replacement role for Doug Fister. Please, please please come back soon Dougie.
This isn't going to be an easy month. We have a tough schedule and some ill-timed injuries, but we would much rather struggle in April then in September. This team may not burst out of the gate like those hicks from Texas, but they'll get it eventually. And when they do…watch out.
PS-We weren't aware you could hit the ball of your knee and put it in play!?!?! Amazing!!!!!!!! We would tell Inge to try it, but his are pretty weak...
Thursday, February 16, 2012
You're Doing It Wrong
Happy (belated) Valentines Day errryone! We have a special gift for you on this Hallmark-made holiday: A Rant.
Before we get to the real point of this post, a disclaimer: We know we are not the most serious of blogs, the most interesting of blogs, or probably even that good of a blog. For God's sake, we're pink! So we know we're not the greatest authority on everything on baseball culture. But one thing we do know a lot about is what it's like to be a female who is obsessed with sports. That's who we are. That's why this blog exists. So that's also why we were kind of disturbed to see the emergence of a new baseball app for women which you can read about here.
Basically, it's a fantasy baseball league for women (or men, we guess!) where the user picks a "Baseball Boyfriend." The user accumulates points based on their "boyfriend's" stats of the day, and you can dump and choose a new boyfriend at anytime. Well we're all for free enterprise, but for the creator of this application, we have something to say... you're doing it wrong!
More raging after the jump...
Before we get to the real point of this post, a disclaimer: We know we are not the most serious of blogs, the most interesting of blogs, or probably even that good of a blog. For God's sake, we're pink! So we know we're not the greatest authority on everything on baseball culture. But one thing we do know a lot about is what it's like to be a female who is obsessed with sports. That's who we are. That's why this blog exists. So that's also why we were kind of disturbed to see the emergence of a new baseball app for women which you can read about here.
Basically, it's a fantasy baseball league for women (or men, we guess!) where the user picks a "Baseball Boyfriend." The user accumulates points based on their "boyfriend's" stats of the day, and you can dump and choose a new boyfriend at anytime. Well we're all for free enterprise, but for the creator of this application, we have something to say... you're doing it wrong!
More raging after the jump...
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Pools of Sorrow, Waves of…More Sorrow
 |
| *SOB* |
-April in the D, 1/16/12 (yesterday)
YEAH. That's a pretty freaking big almost.
Here we are, crying and whining about how boring this offseason is. How uneventful the past few months have been. Well, boo f**king hoo, because karma bit us and all the other greedy Tiger fans in the butt. In case you haven't heard, one of the best hitters and strongest leaders on the team, Victor Martinez, tore his ACL and is expected to undergo surgery. Surgery that would most likely sideline him for THE REST OF THE YEAR.
We don't know about the rest of you, but the three of us reacted in the following ways:
1) Tears. Many Tears.
2) Waves of Nausea
3) Strong Language
4) Equally Strong Desire to Punch a Wall
5) Fervent Denial ("Stupid internet rumors! THEY'RE SO SILLY")
6) Wild Conspiracy Theories ("Those nasty Yankees are getting back at us! THEY DID THIS")
7) Dark Acceptance ("Of course this would happen to us. The Tigers have the worst luck ever")
Poor, sweet V-Mart. What did he do to deserve such a thing? Of course it would happen to someone as glorious and good and leadership-y as him. It seriously couldn't have happened to anyone on the Rangers? They're dripping with offensive talent. Or what about Milton Bradley? He's a dick! Nooooo, it had to happen to Father of the Century Victor Martinez, a man who's on a team that, offensively, is wildly uneven talent-wise.
The reason we resisted posting this a few hours earlier was because the wounds were still fresh and painful. The wounds are still fresh and painful now, but we have moved on from Dark Acceptance and have reached
8) Looking Forward
V-Mart is good and gone for at least the first three quarters of the season. So now it is up to our fearless leader, Dave Dombrowski, to do his job and find us a replacement. Now he has some options; he could find a tried-and-true DH (like Vladimir Guerrero…we like that idea) and keep the rest of the lineup as is, or he could find a new left fielder (like Yoennis Cespedes…intriguing) or second baseman and move Delmon Young to DH. Another option, of course, is to find a replacement internally (like putting Ryan Raburn in the outfield).
We don't know about you, but to us there is nothing quite as horrifying as losing V-Mart and then replacing him with Ryan "I Suck Big in the First Half" Raburn. Look, we like Ryan Raburn. He has his pros, but he also most definitely has his cons. The three of us don't think that the Detroit system has enough talent to fill in for Victor Martinez effectively and efficiently.
No one is going to be able to fully replace V-Mart. Duh. And certainly no one is going to replace Little Victor. But this awful situation reminds us of another unfortunate event that happened around this time last year. Miguel Cabrera was arrested for a DUI, and many writers and media personalities and "fans" said that it would bring Miggy down and cripple the team. Jim Leyland called that bullshit, and Cabrera went on to win the batting title and lead his team to an ALCS appearance.
This team is tough. They know how to deal with hard situations. If the 2012 Tigers are anything like the 2011 squad, they can bounce back from this.
Of course, Dave has to come through on his end. We wait with baited breath on who he will bring in (if anyone…shudder) to help make something good out of this situation.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Rants and Raves on 6/29/11
We are sitting down to enjoy this Tigers game, and here are some thoughts that are running through our minds as we watch:
So by now obviously you have all heard about/seen Jim Leyland's epic charade meltdown. Two words for ya: HOT. MESS. We are girls who love when a player (or manager) shows some character, and ol' Jim definitely did on Monday. Only increasing the hilarity was poor Andy Dirks, who looked like he was trying verrrrrryyyy hard not to giggle. He was doing a lot better than Rod & Mario, though, as they sounded as if they were going to wet themselves. It was all kinds of awesome, and the Tigers ended up winning, so no harm done. In our opinion, Leyland's stock in Badassery increased significantly.
Rick Porcello, however, is a different story. He was still a Hot Mess, but a different kind. Not a good kind. We don't know what is going on with him lately, but he played like crap yesterday. Actually, Daniel Schlereth was worse, giving up two (!!!!!!!) grand slams. Who does that? Not all eight of those runs were on him, but still, thats pretty freaking terrible. Meanwhile, Porcello's average ballooned to 5.06. It seemed like only a few weeks ago it was in the sub 4.00 range.
The Mets, meanwhile, are not hot messes. They are just plain hot, ad we're not just talking about their looks. Right now we're watching the game and the Mets have already posted a 4-spot in the first inning. Look. Jose Reyes is spectacular, but no one else on that offense is. How are we supposed to win when our starting pitching isn't even giving us a chance?? Obviously the game isn't over yet, but Sweet Jesus, it's not looking good.
One thing is for sure: the Mets are an insatiable team. Putting up 14 runs last night wasn't enough for them, apparently. Greedy bitches.
This is such a gloomy post, we thought we'd offer A Ray of Light: Magglio is playing well. We have to be honest, we were divided in our household as to whether it was a good thing that he was coming back. Well, we can happily say that we think he will continue to be an offensive asset. However, he does have the worst luck we've ever seen, as opposing teams' defense continuously make amazing plays against him. Like Jason Bay just did. CRAP.
Let's just hope our boys can pull of a miracle here. It doesn't look great, and technically we shouldn't be publishing this blog post before the game ends, but whatever, we don't care. Besides, this does not look like that fun of a game. Now that we said that, watch the Tigers put up 10 runs or something. We can only hope....
So by now obviously you have all heard about/seen Jim Leyland's epic charade meltdown. Two words for ya: HOT. MESS. We are girls who love when a player (or manager) shows some character, and ol' Jim definitely did on Monday. Only increasing the hilarity was poor Andy Dirks, who looked like he was trying verrrrrryyyy hard not to giggle. He was doing a lot better than Rod & Mario, though, as they sounded as if they were going to wet themselves. It was all kinds of awesome, and the Tigers ended up winning, so no harm done. In our opinion, Leyland's stock in Badassery increased significantly.
Rick Porcello, however, is a different story. He was still a Hot Mess, but a different kind. Not a good kind. We don't know what is going on with him lately, but he played like crap yesterday. Actually, Daniel Schlereth was worse, giving up two (!!!!!!!) grand slams. Who does that? Not all eight of those runs were on him, but still, thats pretty freaking terrible. Meanwhile, Porcello's average ballooned to 5.06. It seemed like only a few weeks ago it was in the sub 4.00 range.
The Mets, meanwhile, are not hot messes. They are just plain hot, ad we're not just talking about their looks. Right now we're watching the game and the Mets have already posted a 4-spot in the first inning. Look. Jose Reyes is spectacular, but no one else on that offense is. How are we supposed to win when our starting pitching isn't even giving us a chance?? Obviously the game isn't over yet, but Sweet Jesus, it's not looking good.
One thing is for sure: the Mets are an insatiable team. Putting up 14 runs last night wasn't enough for them, apparently. Greedy bitches.
This is such a gloomy post, we thought we'd offer A Ray of Light: Magglio is playing well. We have to be honest, we were divided in our household as to whether it was a good thing that he was coming back. Well, we can happily say that we think he will continue to be an offensive asset. However, he does have the worst luck we've ever seen, as opposing teams' defense continuously make amazing plays against him. Like Jason Bay just did. CRAP.
Let's just hope our boys can pull of a miracle here. It doesn't look great, and technically we shouldn't be publishing this blog post before the game ends, but whatever, we don't care. Besides, this does not look like that fun of a game. Now that we said that, watch the Tigers put up 10 runs or something. We can only hope....
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