ALCS Game 2: When Life Gives the Other Team Lemons...

…make some sweet, victorious, clutch lemonade.

Hear him ROAR!!!!!

Sure, the Yankees and their fans may bitch and moan about the obviously erroneous call at 2nd, where Omar Infante clearly did not beat a tag by Robinson Cano. And they should be mad. But they were already losing 1-0 due to a fantastic pitching performance by Anibal Sanchez (who just keeps getting better). And so of course the Tigers took advantage of the situation, plating two runs thanks to Miguel Cabrera and Avisail "Little Mig" Garcia.

Speaking of Avisail: what an asset he's been in this postseason! Can you imagine where we'd be if Brennan Boesch made the squad instead? Probably not up in this series 2-0. Maybe not even in the ALCS at all. Kid's gonna be a star one day, and this postseason sure has given him an opportunity to shine.

Also: we never expected to take two out of two games from New York to start off. Though Lord Jeter has regrettably gone down with an injury, the Yankees are still very good, and their hitting is bound to pick up some time. But now look: going into Detroit up two games to none with our two best pitchers on the mound. It's not over--definitely not--but you are fooling yourselves if you think we're not in great position right now.

How excited are you for Game 3 tonight??? Close to peeing your pants like us? Justin Verlander could be the death blow that the Yankees have been dreading. Our offense and shaky bullpen just need to come through tonight, and we should be fine. It's gonna be a fun night!

ALDS Game Five: How Sweet It Is

Game Cinco came off to an easy, relaxed start with back to back homers from DK and Delmon Young on back to back pitches from Nova.  We were happy. Thrilled, and we thought to ourselves "wow, i hope the rest of the game goes like this!"  It wasn't.  Game Five inspired a lot of feelings in us, a lot of them unpleasent. 

 Nausea, tears, small heart attacks, and a ton of anxiety. We managed to get out of TWO bases loaded situations with only one out, and only ONE RUN scoring. That was incredible, and also hell on the nerves.  The last inning, Papa Grande was flawless.  It was a thing of beauty.  All of that anxiety, nervousness, and ickiness, feelings that prevented the three of us from eating since the night before, all vanished and was replaced with sheer and utter joy.  Our shrieks of gaiety could probably have been heard from Mars.  And there was something about winning the ALDS against the hated Yankees that made it that much sweeter.  

Everyone in their dugout looked so sad, and miserable. We loved it.   Everyone at TBS seemed equally depressed, which made it that much more enjoyable.  The adrenaline from that game kept us all up into the wee hours of the morning watching ESPN, laughing hysterically as Valverde got continually deluged in bubbly, seeing Little Victor partake in the champagne celebration with his father (who sent Ajax home with an RBI single as the key third run) listening to all the shmucks out there raving about the pure GENIUS of putting Don Kelly in the second slot, and agreeing fervently to accounts of how amazing Delmon Young is. Our boys deserved this so much, and we couldn't be happier for them.  Nothing can rain on our parade, at least until tonight when we kick of the ALCS with the Rangers. 

Speaking of, Laura and Megan will at Game Four. They'll be in section 138, row 2, so come say hello!  Rosie will be stuck in Georgia screaming at the TV during the came and not at all trying to conceal her jealousy. This team definitely has what it takes to make it, and we can't wait. Suck it TBS and the Yankees,  Let's Go Tigers!!! BEAT TEXAS.

ALDS Game Four: Ew.

You guys know that feeling you get when the Tigers win a playoff game? After the initial sensation of terror over a Papa Grande save wear off, you feel like you're on top of the world.   Like you would passionately kiss the next person you saw (preferably Austin Jackson Rick Porcello Brennan Boesch Ryan Perry Alex Avila Magglio Ordonez a Tiger). Like if someone mugged you on the street, you'd just smile and say "That's alright! Take my wallet, you look like you're a little down on your luck! Please don't hit me to hard! Have a nice daaayyyyy!!! (Okay, maybe a little extreme. But after we won the world series perhaps)

Now we know all too well the feeling after the Tigers lose a playoff game. Like you want to get into a bloody, violent fistfight with the next schmuck you see (preferably a Yankee. Any Yankee). Like turning off the lights in your bedroom, lighting twenty candles,  eating cartons of Ben and Jerry's and sobbing in your room to the Brian's Song (no? Not you? Just us? Okay then).


We don't really want to venture to far into the disgusting and gruesome details of tonights game. We only have a few things to say here.

1) Curtis Granderson…WHY????????
    Seriously, though. That first catch he made was not that impressive, it just looked impressive because he   read it wrong. That second catch, though…that was the death blow. Without those two catches, that might have been a completely different game. BETRAYAL. He reeks of it.

2) We knew A.J. was going to pitch well.
    Everyone--ESPECIALLY Yankee fans--were bitching about how Burnett was going to suck. Hello? Never, ever, ever say that too much, because then, due to a little something called karma, the guy is going to get all pumped and completely rock our shit. Maybe that was the Yankees plan all along. Brilliant…

3) Looking For Hitters
    When the player who looks best with the bat is Don Kelly, you know it's not a good day. But seriously, nothing was going our way. Nothing.

So, that being said, Game Five is almost upon us. On Thursday night, Tigers fans will anxiously be watching as our team takes on the Yankees in their sandbox of a ballpark, facing the man who three-hit us only a few nights ago.

You know what? Our boys can do this. They absolutely can. We at April in the D don't have a doubt in our minds that if Fister pitches as well as he's capable of--which is very, very well--then we will win. Our offense may have been shut down, but our team has a knack for bouncing back. You think Miggy and V-Mart aren't going to get fired up? You thought wrong. You reasoned that Fister was going to have a repeat performance of "Game 1"? Try again. This team has been thwarting the haters all season, and there is no way they're going to stop now.

Is Nova going to be good? Yes. Are we going to have better defense and offense against him? Hell yes. As tough as this loss was, our boys have a day to focus in and get ready for the biggest game of the season. Thus far. It's time to put up or shut up--may the best team win.

The Yankees are good. We have to prove that we're better.

ALDS Game One: What the F--

I think the title says it all. Nothing went right. NOTHING. We never thought we would say this, but the Yankees have done the impossible of actually making us kind of hate Curtis Granderson. Stupid Yankee players. Stupid ugly dumb disgusting Yankee fans. Stupid nauseatingly biased TBS announcers. You can all DIE.
^(Maturity).
Tomorrow is a must win. Seriously. WE MUST WIN. Somethings gotta give, because that was one of the worst games we've played all season. No luck.


We still believe in our boys. We need to take this game tomorrow. And if we don't…well, that's one hell of a hole to climb out of.


Here's one last dose of 2nd-grade level immaturity for you, though: doesn't the picture below just get your blood boiling? Doesn't it make you want to beat those f#@$@^% Yankees just THAT MUCH MORE??? 

We Hate You. Douchebag.

This is the face of evil: Nick Swisher, That One Outfielder On The Yankees That Runs His Ugly Mouth Too Much And Thinks He's Cooler And More Talented Than He Actually Is. This is also the guy who said that the Yanks were going to beat the Tigers "Hands Down". 


Well if the above picture and quote doesn't make you want to bitch-slap the Yankees into last Tuesday, there's something wrong with you. This, people, is what is called motivation. Let's take it to the Yanks tomorrow in Game 2. I don't want to see this idiot smile his goon smile for a long time.

(Doesn't directing your frustration at Swisher make you feel better? Nothing wrong with some healthy misplaced aggression…)