How to Cope with Heartbreak

Is it really the end? Is this season really over?

We have to admit, we've been pretty devastated over the past week. Not because we're disappointed with our boys. No. They put in a phenomenal effort against the crazy-talented Rangers. That series could have swung either way, which is perhaps one of the greatest contributing factors to our woe. But we'll take that loss. It was well-deserved by the Rangers, and, except for the last game, the Tigers proved to be no pushover.

The worst feeling, though--the emotion that you are all feeling--is heartbreak. What a beautiful season, with a lovable cast of characters that made up the best team we've seen in a while. And its over. It's done. We're not going to see our boys for five months. Five. Months. It's like a dear friend or loved one just leaves you and won't come back for months and months and months and you have to suffer through the long and lonely winter yourself and you miss them already and it has rained everyday since they've been gone or at least it feels like it and you LOVE them and--

Okay. You get the picture. You feel the pain.

And isn't such a huge freaking tease to see the Rangers and Cardinals duke it out, looking all happy and excited because, har har har, they're still in it? We tried to watch Game One of the series, but that involved a feeling akin to having our chests beaten with a spiked club. How dare they feel so happy! They're taking their season for granted! STOP! Enjoy every moment, you fools!

Oh my gosh. We're just going to miss them so. Much.

But, like any relationship "on a break", it's healthier to look back on the good instead of the bad. Hey, remember that time we came back seven runs down on the White Sox? That's when we knew. That's when we, the fans of Detroit, knew we were in love with those crazy kids. Really, truly in love.

Our infatuation started much earlier than that, though. Justin Brooks Verlander and his no-hitter, for instance. That's when sports media decided to turn their collective eye from the east coast and finally realize that this Verlander kid was pretty good.

Yes, this team defied everyone (even us Tiger faithful) from the beginning, what with Big Mig getting arrested for a DUI. The media crucified him, saying that his wayward ways would have extremely negative affects on his baseball career. What did Miggy do then? Oh, nothing much, just put together an MVP caliber season with a batting title thrown in for kicks. Up yours, naysayers!

And what about Victor? What a great mentor and leader he was for the team. What a great dad. What a clutch hitter. He was practically in pieces by the end of the season, but he still had enough in him to motivate our team. He gave everything tonight! (Thanks, Pitbull).

Alex Avila. One of the most unexpected turnarounds we've ever seen. From anyone. And Juh-honny too. He got in great shape and had a career year. Papa Grande….he was the perfect closer. He was scary at times (really, really scary). But he never failed us in a save situation. Not once. We can't ask any more from him.

And of course, our late acquisitions Doug Fister and Delmon Young (and for most of the regular season, before he got injured, Wilson Betemit) really, really helped us out. Without Fister especially, we probably wouldn't have gotten past New York. We might not even have gone to the playoffs!

Speaking of New York, too…what a series. To beat them in their own park? Unreal. Beating the Yankees when not many thought we could really showed that the Detroit Tigers are a seriously good team, and will remain so for the next few years. And come on, how amazing was it to take it to those stupid, puffed up arrogant sons of bitches?! The best feeling in the world.

And of course…Magglio. But we will not go on about him here. Soon we will do our Ode to Ordonez post, where we will revel in his glory. We miss you already, Maggs. The D is not the same without you.

Looking back on the good really did ease some of the pain. And five (or is it four? Can't count in our haze of depression) months is not forever. Our boys will come back rested, beautiful, glowing, and (hopefully) healed, ready to take the AL Central again. We really can't wait. Until then, we will look back on a truly amazing season. See you soon, boys. And thank you.

Oh, and for all of the people who have so very kindly read our blog and linked us and commented and emailed? Thank you very much as well! We had no idea how this would go or if people would like it, so your support means so much. We've had a lot of fun doing this so far, and don't plan on stopping anytime soon. What a fun first season for blogging!

Now, back to our Lifetime movies, Ben and Jerry's ice cream, and Coldplay music. There's only so much reflection we can take...

Coming Soon

For all two of you who were wondering when we're going to update this thing, don't worry! The next post will be coming either today or tomorrow. We've just been really busy wallowing in the despair of our loss with school and stuff, but never fear. The post is on its way!

ALCS Game Five: True Grit

Ever heard the saying, "It's better to be lucky than be good?" Well, you should have, because Rod Allen says it all the time. We think this quote directly applies to Game Five, because of what will now be known as The Bounce.

Honestly, it's about damn time some luck came Detroit's way! Half the team has some kind of injury/fatigue problem, and the other half are AAA players. Kind of. And all of the games in this past series could have been won by the Tigers too. But Fate (and Nelson Cruz) intervened in the Rangers' favor.

Not this time though.

Luck aside, this has to be the proudest the three of us (and Jim Leyland, and the rest of Tiger Nation too, we bet) have been of Our Boys. Delmon Young blasting two homers with a strained oblique? V-Mart tripling with his myriad of injuries? Zombie Avila rising from the dead to back up his starter? You've got to love the effort.

And speaking of our starter, holy hell, Justin! Some may say that the amount of runs (4) wasn't good. Those people are idiots. JV did exactly what he had to do, and he threw 133 pitches. If it was a normal day, and our bullpen wasn't so worn down, Justin would have exited the game giving up 2 runs over seven innings of do-or-die ball. Those are Doug Fister-like numbers.

Also, Phil Coke? We're now in love with you. We've never seen him so pumped up or clutch, and he had the first 4+ out save since Willie Hernandez. Well done, Phil.

Now we head back to Texas. Scary, but with Scherzer and Fister (who have been as good, if not better, than Verlander in the playoffs) on the mound, we have A Chance. If we can get through Game Six, Game Seven would be slightly to our advantage, seeing as how dominant Fister has been. It's a lot of pressure, and we're still (typically) the underdogs. But we can do it. It's been done before. 1968, anyone?

ALCS Game Four: Cruz Control

Let us ask this: is there any Tigers fan anywhere who isn't terrified of Nelson Cruz? If you're not terrified, then you loathe him, because in the three losses the Tigers have suffered this series, Nelson Cruz has been the main reason. 

Yes, the Rangers bullpen has been good. Yes, our hitting has been sketchy at best. Yes, Rick Porcello made some mistakes last night. But Nelson Cruz, he of the inconsistent arm, gunned Cabrera down at home on a play that (probably) would have won us the game, and then proceeded to drive another nail in the coffin with a spirit-shattering three-run shot. 

I'm sure this was disheartening and traumatic on television, but let me tell you, it was worse in person. Laura and Megan were there, and holy crap was it brutal to see that ball fly into the Rangers bullpen. Not to mention, we had sat through a two hour rain delay and two hours of more light rain during the game, but it was worth it. But that home run was killer.

Do you still believe? It will be tough. Our offense, beaten and battered as they are, need to give it all they got. Our starting pitching needs to be tremendous, and with Verlander, Scherzer, and Fister, it can be. It would take a lot of luck. But we believe. 

Come on, Tigers. Let's make it a good fight.

ALCS Games Two & Three: You Lose Some, You Win Some

This will be brief. We don't want to speak much of Texas Grand Slams or creepy mustachio'd pitchers or anemic middles of lineups.

Instead, it's nice to talk about the reemergence of clutch hitting, monster home runs, and the best pitching performance we've seen all postseason.

Doug Fister, we salute you.
Miguel Cabrera, welcome back.
Victor Martinez =gritty goodness.
Austin Jackson, woah, where have you been?
Don Kelly, we love you. Just don't let Jim hit you 5th again.
Valverde, well done. Seriously.
And Terry Francona, we miss you. A lot.

Laura and Megan will be at the game tomorrow. Should be a fun one! Do work, Rick, do work.

ALCS Game One: When It Rains, It Pours

So…good news or bad news? We always like to start with the bad news first.

-Delmon Young is out for the ALCS (if we were to make it that far, he would hopefully play in the World Series).
-Magglio Ordonez is out for the rest of the postseason.
-This means that Don Kelly and Ryan Raburn are probably going to be playing every game of the ALCS. Don Kelly and Ryan Raburn.
-Two rain delays yesterday knocked Justin Verlander out way, waaaay too early, and are probably contributing to his mediocre performance thus far in the postseason.
-Alex Avila is a zombie.
-It appears that Wilson Betemit lost his eyesight, although this is not confirmed by the Tigers organization. Those "swings" he was taking on those Neftali Feliz fastballs were…disturbing, to say the least.
-Our offense choked in the most unfortunate and unpleasant way, with a total of fourteen (!!!) strikeouts and missed opportunities with runners in scoring position. Who are we, the Yankees?
-We lost.

So…yes. This is not good. And now we have to wait for the rain to stop--again--as Game Two has been delayed until tomorrow at 4:30. Guess who has class at 4:30? All three of us. Thanks a ton, Weather.

Indeed, we are depending on Raburn, DK, Santiago, Inge and probably Dirks to pick up the pieces that their fallen brethren have dropped. Eek. We also need Jackson, Cabrera, Martinez, Peralta and especially    Avila to step up and produce. Otherwise, we're screwed.

So, is there any good in this situation?
-Rick Porcello and Ryan Perry were amazing last night. Well done, boys.
-The Tigers are only one game back. A game.

Not much to brag about, but it's not like hope is Lost. These unfortunate circumstances are the kind of thing that can rally a team together, can motivate them to win. Or it can be the kind of thing that breaks a team. But we're not going to talk about that.

One last thing: Max Scherzer, Dougie Fister and Rick Porcello are going to have to pitch out of their minds to support our battered offense. Plus, unless their names are Joaquin Benoit or Jose Valverde, we're not really fond of seeing much of our bullpen this series.

Sure would be nice to leave rainy Arlington with the series tied. It's time to go hard, or have a rough time when we go home.

ALDS Game Five: How Sweet It Is

Game Cinco came off to an easy, relaxed start with back to back homers from DK and Delmon Young on back to back pitches from Nova.  We were happy. Thrilled, and we thought to ourselves "wow, i hope the rest of the game goes like this!"  It wasn't.  Game Five inspired a lot of feelings in us, a lot of them unpleasent. 

 Nausea, tears, small heart attacks, and a ton of anxiety. We managed to get out of TWO bases loaded situations with only one out, and only ONE RUN scoring. That was incredible, and also hell on the nerves.  The last inning, Papa Grande was flawless.  It was a thing of beauty.  All of that anxiety, nervousness, and ickiness, feelings that prevented the three of us from eating since the night before, all vanished and was replaced with sheer and utter joy.  Our shrieks of gaiety could probably have been heard from Mars.  And there was something about winning the ALDS against the hated Yankees that made it that much sweeter.  

Everyone in their dugout looked so sad, and miserable. We loved it.   Everyone at TBS seemed equally depressed, which made it that much more enjoyable.  The adrenaline from that game kept us all up into the wee hours of the morning watching ESPN, laughing hysterically as Valverde got continually deluged in bubbly, seeing Little Victor partake in the champagne celebration with his father (who sent Ajax home with an RBI single as the key third run) listening to all the shmucks out there raving about the pure GENIUS of putting Don Kelly in the second slot, and agreeing fervently to accounts of how amazing Delmon Young is. Our boys deserved this so much, and we couldn't be happier for them.  Nothing can rain on our parade, at least until tonight when we kick of the ALCS with the Rangers. 

Speaking of, Laura and Megan will at Game Four. They'll be in section 138, row 2, so come say hello!  Rosie will be stuck in Georgia screaming at the TV during the came and not at all trying to conceal her jealousy. This team definitely has what it takes to make it, and we can't wait. Suck it TBS and the Yankees,  Let's Go Tigers!!! BEAT TEXAS.

ALDS Game Four: Ew.

You guys know that feeling you get when the Tigers win a playoff game? After the initial sensation of terror over a Papa Grande save wear off, you feel like you're on top of the world.   Like you would passionately kiss the next person you saw (preferably Austin Jackson Rick Porcello Brennan Boesch Ryan Perry Alex Avila Magglio Ordonez a Tiger). Like if someone mugged you on the street, you'd just smile and say "That's alright! Take my wallet, you look like you're a little down on your luck! Please don't hit me to hard! Have a nice daaayyyyy!!! (Okay, maybe a little extreme. But after we won the world series perhaps)

Now we know all too well the feeling after the Tigers lose a playoff game. Like you want to get into a bloody, violent fistfight with the next schmuck you see (preferably a Yankee. Any Yankee). Like turning off the lights in your bedroom, lighting twenty candles,  eating cartons of Ben and Jerry's and sobbing in your room to the Brian's Song (no? Not you? Just us? Okay then).


We don't really want to venture to far into the disgusting and gruesome details of tonights game. We only have a few things to say here.

1) Curtis Granderson…WHY????????
    Seriously, though. That first catch he made was not that impressive, it just looked impressive because he   read it wrong. That second catch, though…that was the death blow. Without those two catches, that might have been a completely different game. BETRAYAL. He reeks of it.

2) We knew A.J. was going to pitch well.
    Everyone--ESPECIALLY Yankee fans--were bitching about how Burnett was going to suck. Hello? Never, ever, ever say that too much, because then, due to a little something called karma, the guy is going to get all pumped and completely rock our shit. Maybe that was the Yankees plan all along. Brilliant…

3) Looking For Hitters
    When the player who looks best with the bat is Don Kelly, you know it's not a good day. But seriously, nothing was going our way. Nothing.

So, that being said, Game Five is almost upon us. On Thursday night, Tigers fans will anxiously be watching as our team takes on the Yankees in their sandbox of a ballpark, facing the man who three-hit us only a few nights ago.

You know what? Our boys can do this. They absolutely can. We at April in the D don't have a doubt in our minds that if Fister pitches as well as he's capable of--which is very, very well--then we will win. Our offense may have been shut down, but our team has a knack for bouncing back. You think Miggy and V-Mart aren't going to get fired up? You thought wrong. You reasoned that Fister was going to have a repeat performance of "Game 1"? Try again. This team has been thwarting the haters all season, and there is no way they're going to stop now.

Is Nova going to be good? Yes. Are we going to have better defense and offense against him? Hell yes. As tough as this loss was, our boys have a day to focus in and get ready for the biggest game of the season. Thus far. It's time to put up or shut up--may the best team win.

The Yankees are good. We have to prove that we're better.

ALDS Game Three: We Heart Comerica (And Justin, And Ramon, And Delmon…)

Wow. Wow. Wow.


We didn't know what to do when Papa Grande got that final strikeout on The Captain. Scream? Laugh? Cry? Throw up? All were valid and understandable options, so if you did any of these (especially the last one), do not be ashamed. If you had a heart condition/panic disorder and you were watching this game, we send our condolences, because you are probably in the hospital right about now. But it was worth it. So, so worth it.

Where do we start? With Justin giving up those two early, early runs? With the Little Guys--Ramon Santiago, Brandon Inge, Don Kelly--coming up where our big sluggers fell short? With Justin coming back to completely dominate in the middle of the game? With Delmon Young hitting that go-ahead home-run? With the Big Potato walking two, then striking out Jeter for the final out?

Yeah. It was one of those kinds of games that so much exciting, scary, and thrilling stuff happens it leaves us curled in a little ball on the floor, rocking back and forth. Too much for our hearts to take!

You know what was the best part of that game though? Watching all of those Yankee fly balls that would have been homers in Yankee Stadium land harmlessly in the gloves of Tiger outfielders. Thank god the Tigers play in a REAL ballpark. Our outfield wall isn't 30 feet from home plate, unlike some stadiums we could mention! We know this has been said a lot, but seriously--Cabrera would be hitting 70 homers a year if he played in New York (GOD FORBID).

And we have to say it one more time: screw these goddamn TBS announcers. It's not just them sucking up to the Yankees anymore. It's the way they are insulting our team and then later looking like fools. Example: the three "professional" announcers light into Austin Jackson for not sac bunting. Next thing they know, he draws a walk. They then do the same to Ramon Santiago. What does he do? Oh, nothing, just hits an RBI single. I mean, please. Way to insult our player's poor decisions until after the at-bat. Our brains are bleeding just thinking about these jackasses.

Well! Tomorrow's the big day. Can we clinch it? Can Rick Porcello put on his Dr. Jekyll face and completely have his way with the Yankee lineup? Will we do as much damage off of A.J. Burnett as everyone says we will? I guess we'll find out.

Keep believing, Tiger Faithful. We can do this.

ALDS Game Two: And the Series is Tied!

We won!  We won! We won!

We three are going  to ignore the fact the Jose Valverde literally blew up in the ninth inning. We're going to overlook the fact that the hated Nick Swisher hit a home run in the ninth inning.  We're even going to pretend we didn't hear the TBS announcers verbally blow the Yankees.  Do you want to know why?  It is because we won. And unlike no-hitters, or statistics, or history, or Derek Jeter, or anything else, winning is the only thing that matters in the post-season.

Hell yeah!

So let's look at the positives for now!  Firstly, and most importantly, is Max Scherzer's performance.  Right before the post-season, Rogo from DesigNate Roberston wrote a wonderful post on the importance of Max Scherzer. We couldn't have agreed more with him, and boy did Max deliver!  He took a no-hitter into the sixth and had zero earned runs on the day.  Our boy Benoit (or Ben-OYT as the boys at TBS would say) pitched very well today as well, despite giving up a solo home run to Curtis Granderson, as he got out of no-out two-men-on jam that Max left him.

The two spot also delivered today.  Magglio went 3-3, and good ol' Don Kelly laced a very important RBI single in the top of the 9th to give the Tigers a four run lead. If the Tigers are going to get to the World Series, they're going to need production from every part of the line-up, not just Latino Row, so great work DK! We commend you! We also congratulate Miguel Cabrera for providing us with three runs today and for stealing a base. Miguel Cabrera stole a base everyone! That is how badly he wants to move on to the ALCS.

More positives:  The Tigers head back to CoPa tomorrow, so the Yankees don't get to keep hitting pathetic fly balls that are home runs in the Yankee's itty bitty park. Also, the heavyweights are pitching tomorrow!  Justin Verlander, the probable AL Cy Young winner, and CC Sabathia, 6'7" and about 500 lbs. We feel very optimistic about the Tigers chances at home, and hopefully JV can deliver for us.

So yeah, that game was a little bit scary there at the end, but the end result is a tied ALDS. There's so much to look forward to in the next couple of days, and we can't wait for some more post-season baseball.  Get the defibrillators folks! This series looks to be a wild ride!

ALDS Game One: What the F--

I think the title says it all. Nothing went right. NOTHING. We never thought we would say this, but the Yankees have done the impossible of actually making us kind of hate Curtis Granderson. Stupid Yankee players. Stupid ugly dumb disgusting Yankee fans. Stupid nauseatingly biased TBS announcers. You can all DIE.
^(Maturity).
Tomorrow is a must win. Seriously. WE MUST WIN. Somethings gotta give, because that was one of the worst games we've played all season. No luck.


We still believe in our boys. We need to take this game tomorrow. And if we don't…well, that's one hell of a hole to climb out of.


Here's one last dose of 2nd-grade level immaturity for you, though: doesn't the picture below just get your blood boiling? Doesn't it make you want to beat those f#@$@^% Yankees just THAT MUCH MORE??? 

We Hate You. Douchebag.

This is the face of evil: Nick Swisher, That One Outfielder On The Yankees That Runs His Ugly Mouth Too Much And Thinks He's Cooler And More Talented Than He Actually Is. This is also the guy who said that the Yanks were going to beat the Tigers "Hands Down". 


Well if the above picture and quote doesn't make you want to bitch-slap the Yankees into last Tuesday, there's something wrong with you. This, people, is what is called motivation. Let's take it to the Yanks tomorrow in Game 2. I don't want to see this idiot smile his goon smile for a long time.

(Doesn't directing your frustration at Swisher make you feel better? Nothing wrong with some healthy misplaced aggression…)

Testing the Waters

Ok…so that sucked. Here we are, all decked out in Tigers gear, ready for an epic clash of pitching titans, hyperventilating as our boys took the field, and what happens? Rain delay in the middle of the second--conveniently after Raburn and Avila were blinded by the downpour and C.C. made them look like fools. At least Cal Ripken was on our side. Everyone else who works for TBS just can't get enough of those damn Yankees.

And have you checked the weather tomorrow? It's SUCKISH. It'll be a miracle if we play. And if we do, they better make sure we can actually play it this time, not half-ass start it and then be like, "Oh, just playin'! No game today! Sorry we put your best pitchers on the field and now they can't get out there until game freakin' three! LOLZ WERE STOOPID!!!"

Can you tell we're angry?

Actually, though, there is a bright side. First of all, did you see how nervous our team was? Cabrera was nervous. Inge was nervous. Verlander walked two batters, so he was a little nervous. The only one who seemed unfazed by this whole "playoff" business was the jaded Delmon Young. As he should be. But that could have been a good test run-get our boys out there, get them used to the atmosphere of Yankee Stadium, so on and so forth. Obviously this isn't good for Verlander at all, but at least they won't have Sabathia either. Plus, we love Verlander at Comerica. How can we possibly lose that one? And Doug Fister's starting tomorrow. Hellz yes.

The only thing that worries me is Scherzer at Yankee Stadium, which, if you haven't noticed, gives up home runs as often as TBS commentators bend over for Yankee players (sorry, inappropriate). What we mean by that is: this is NOT the best place for Mad Max to pitch.

Oh well. At least we didn't LOSE today! And Jim Leyland took the right attitude today when he said that he wasn't going to blow this out of proportion. Just take one game at a time. Hey, if we can win twelve straight with three Brad Penny starts thrown in the mix, we can win anything. Right?