A Detroit Tigers Blog with a Feminine Touch

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Random Tigers Thoughts From Laura: 12/28/11

I'm back! Finally. Not like much has happened since I left, but still...

Predictably, the three of us have been too busy/depressed to update when we say we will. Why are we depressed, you ask? It's because we have entered that horrible post-holidays pre-Spring Training time of the year. The sky is forever grey, the ground is covered with ice and horrible slushy brown snow, and the hot, sunny, baseball-filled months seem years away. Rough times.

And what has big bad Dave Dombrowski done to brighten these dreary winter days? Nothing. Nada. The only thing of note for the past few weeks has been poor Al Al going on the DL until the All-Star Break. Not exactly the ray of light us Tigers fans hoped for.

Plus, of course, no TigerFest. I'm disappointed, as I was actually planning on going this year. It would have been a perfect opportunity to stalk meet my heroes, but of course the Tigers had to snatch away that small joy too.

At least I, like most of you, got to celebrate the holidays. And with the holidays comes the chance to receive some more random Tigers stuff. TigerFest would have been the perfect platform to debut some of my finery, but since I obviously can't do that, you can see it below. You're welcome.

Tigers gear + church clothes = good look

What else? Besides the the Detroit Tigers website's thrilling news that Don Kelly likes to play Catch Phrase, all has been maddeningly calm in the baseball world. One thing you can do though is check out Roar of the Tiger's Eight Days of Terrible Chanukah Cartoons. The are equal parts informative, hilarious, and brilliant.  Click over there for some last bits of holiday cheer!

That's it from me. I wait with bated breath for ANY news AT ALL from the Tigers, but who knows what's going on with them. Until next time!

Saturday, December 24, 2011

We're Horrible People

Or at the very least, horrible bloggers.

What with the holidays and a constant stream of NO NEWS AT ALL (come on, Dave! Do something fun!!!) from our Boys, we have not been very diligent blogger people. We will have new stuff hopefully by the 26th!

We love you all! Happy Holidays!

-Laura, Megan, and Rosie

Thursday, December 15, 2011

These Times...

…they definitely are a-changin'.

Over the past few days the Tigers have suffered a few casualties of the offseason, and while we think these moves were definitely made for the good of the club, we can't help but mourn the loss of some of our quirkiest personalities.

Goodbye, Ryan Perry (Agent P). We loved your cute baby face (which was sometimes adorned with ill-advised flesh-colored facial hair), 6-4 frame, and, of course, your tattoo sleeve which was badass and really sexy. Your inconsistencies and postseason woes aside, we loved having you on our team if only for the fact that you made a great RP-duo with your roommate, Rick Porcello. You will be missed.

Farewell, Will Rhymes (Mighty Mouse). You surprised us all with your scrappiness and grit when you came up during the 2010 season, and you shocked us more when you hustle and pluck won you a spot as the starting second-baseman in April. Unfortunately for you the job was to be short-lived, but your hilarious (and sometimes biting) tweets were to continue. So goodbye, Will Rhymes. Stay cool. Stay scrappy. Stay small.

Also, peace out, TigerFest (?!?!?!?!). We really, really, reeeallllyy wanted to go this year to stalk see all our favorite players and pester them ask them lots of questions, but it was not to be. Construction to our beloved Comerica Park is the one thing standing in the way of the three of us going to the Promised Land  TigerFest. FINE. If that's the way Marketing wants to play it this year, whatever. Pffffft. Who really wants to meet Justin Verlander anyway????

Some good news, though. Welcome to the D, Octavio Dotel! A (good) veteran long-reliever is exactly what our already solid bullpen needs. With Dotel, Coke, Alburquerque, Benoit and Valverde, our bullpen will have the depth that it most decidedly did not have last year. He also says he "feels like I'm at my house" since he knows most, if not all, of the Latino players on the big league roster. This can only help the feeling of camaraderie that our team already has. Team chemistry never hurts!

Plus, we really like his name. Octavio. How very cool.

Another addition to our above-average bullpen, we welcome Collin Balester to the fold. We don't know too much about him yet, but he has a twitter and he can grow a fierce mustache. These things only work in his favor, to be quite honest. Could it be, personality-wise at least, that we have a new Casper Wells on our hands?! We can only hope.

We're sure the Tigers front office, spearheaded by our fearless leader Dave Dombrowski, will make some more offseason moves in the near future (Yoennis Cespedes, anyone?). In the meantime, we can make our peace with the loss of two fine players, and welcome our new, better ones. Out with the old, in with the new!

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Oh The Weather Outside is Frightful...

As the Michigan representative of April in the D, I have some news to report. You probably all know this by now, but Brandon Inge was in a multi-car crash today! It is because Michigan is mean and temperamental, and we already have snow everywhere. Actually, it's way worse than snow because it's just warm enough so that the snow melts during the day and then freezes at night, and now we have a dangerous ice slick. You would think that Brandon would know how to drive in Michigan by now, but apparently he does not.

Now before you all get your panties in a twist, I am glad to report that there were no injuries involved.  So not only is Brandon Inge not hurt, but he's probably not facing any lawsuits either.  We do have to admit that we were still really scared when we heard about it, but we sure are glad that everything is okay!

We've had enough problems with Tigers and cars, and we don't want anymore!


Monday, December 5, 2011


So, a lot of you guys probably know about Bless You Boy's annual DIBS (Detroit Independent Baseball Scribes) Awards, celebrating a plethora of Tigers achievements throughout the season. Well, for some reason, they let the three of us join the fun this year, and we got to weigh in on who won the awards.

(There was also an opportunity for us to create our own categories. We had some ideas, but we didn't think our fellow bloggers--especially the male ones--would appreciate voting on the "Most Stunning Physique" award.)

Without further ado, here are the winners in their respective categories, with additional commentary on who we voted for and why!

Most Valuable Tiger
Winner: Justin Verlander
Our Choice: Justin Verlander

MVP, Cy Young Award Winner, Triple Crown champ--there is no other person who made more of an impact on not only our team, but the whole league. The obvious choice.

Best Rookie
Winner: Al Alburquerque
Our Choice: Al Alburquerque

Since Al Al's only competition was Andy "Run-Forest-Run" Dirks, this was another obvious choice. It should be mentioned that Al was quite the surprise this year, and we look forward to watching him become the next Joel Zumaya seeing him make hitters look like absolute fools next year.

Best Role Player
Winner: Ramon Santiago
Our Choice…Alex Avila (Ramon Santiago)

We make fun of people for acting like idiots, so we should just go ahead and laugh at ourselves right now. We misread the category and voted for Avila, but if we weren't so dumb we would have voted for Ramon. He is very solid defensively at both short and second, and while Some People (Read: Don Kelly) play more positions, that doesn't mean they play all those positions that well.

Best Moment
Winner: Austin Jackson Double-Play
Out Choice: ALDS Game 5 Win

There were so many great, unforgettable moments this season. Jackson's DP. Raburn and Cabrera's home runs to come back from 7 down against the White Sox. Verlander's no-hitter. But in the end, for us at least, there was never a moment where we were more proud of our team than when Valverde struck out A-Rod to beat the Yankees at Yankee Stadium. Where everyone and their mother said we would lose. It was truly a team effort, and an exciting game we could watch over and over again.

Team Clown
Winner: Phil Coke
Our Choice: Phil Coke

Obviously there is no one else who could take this title away from insane Phil Coke. This is the man who, when we were at the ALCS, ran over to the tarp-covered field and literally started throwing water in the air (much to the delight of the two of us and the rest of the rain-soaked crowd). We love you Phil. Never change!

Best Hair
Winner: Alex Avila
Our Choice: Alex Avila

We're sure balding men everywhere, when not making fun of his ridiculously fast beard growth, are bemoaning the fact that they can't have as much hair as Avila. It's certainly entertaining for us to literally watch his five-o-clock shadow become noticeably darker by the end of a game!

Tiger's Organization Name of the Year
Winner: Doug Fister
Our Choice: Doug Fister

Ha. Hahahahaha. Poor Dougie. Let him take solace in knowing that he freaking rocks at throwing a baseball and makes millions. That should dull the pain.

Goofiest Moment
Winner: 3-way tie
Our Choice: Don Kelly igniting in flames

Justin Verlander should get a medal for that. Supposedly the real victim was supposed to be poor sweet Bumble Below, but since DK is loveably oblivious, he got hot-footed instead.

Best Victor Martinez
Winner: Senior
Our Choice: BOTH

Aw, come on, we know the answer is Victor Martinez Sr…but who can resist that face?!?! Too cute.

That was fun, kids. Now we go back to "studying for finals" when what we're really doing is obsessively checking Twitter for news on whats happening in the Winter Meetings. College Student

Thursday, December 1, 2011

G-Money (and Others) in the D

Ca$h Monayyyy

He's baaaaaaaaaaack!!!

We think we speak for most Tiger fans that we weren't all torn up when Gerald Laird left Detroit last year. Sure, he was solid defensively, but he wasn't the best hitter and he had been known to start brawls. So needless to say, it wasn't with a heavy heart that we watched him go.

But now Rod and Mario can pull their favorite nickname out again, because G-Money is back in business behind the Tigers' plate. But he's not the other oldie-but-goodie coming back. Ramon Santiago has just inked a two-year deal with the Tigs, so he's returning as well.

Okay. Now, the G-Money deal? It's a good one-he knows the staff, he knows the organization, and he can play decent defense. He'll be a good backup to our ALL STAR SILVER SLUGGER STARTING CATHER Alex Avila (we love typing that). However, seeing Ryan Doumit go to the evil Twins organization makes us die a little inside. He was our dream backup catcher, but it appears that G-Money will suffice.

The other reason we love Laird back? Because we get to type G-Money all the time. Maybe we'll just shorten it to G-$$$. Sorry readers, after this post you'll probably never see us type out Gerald Laird's full name again.

But the Santiago deal? Uhhhhhhh. If he's playing backup, that's cool, but Ramon Santiago, as lovable a person as he apparently is, is not a long-term option at the second base position. Sure, he had a pretty hot end of the season. But lets not get crazy, Dave & Co. You just kept Santiago around because he's a clubhouse fave, right? We're still holding out for Martin Prado, right?

Speaking of which, Winter Meetings are coming up. That wily old fox Dombrowski always has something cray cray up his sleeve. If the interest in Prado, Mark Buehrle, Coco Crisp, Amaris Ramirez, and others are anywhere close to true, then we think these winter meetings are going to be very interesting. Very interesting indeed...

Monday, November 21, 2011

The Pride of Detroit


24 wins. 250 strikeouts. Cy Young Award. American League MVP.

Just another day for Justin Verlander, right?

Not quite. With his shiny new MVP trophy came the knowledge that  JV is the first pitcher to win the award in 19 (!) years. That is pretty amazing, not only for Justin, who must be on cloud nine right now, but also for the Tigers organization and the city of Detroit.

Despite Cleveland writer's best efforts, JV has successfully bucked the trend of Tigers being shafted during awards season. And it's no wonder. With his absolutely dominating season, even ESPN realized there was baseball outside of New York or Boston. So suck on that, Curtis Granderson and Jacoby Ellsbury! Actually, New York fans from what we could tell have been pretty gracious. It's the whiny, still-hurting Sawx fans that are really upset. Not like we care. Not like Justin cares.

Obviously this means a lot to Justin. He himself said that "not even in his wildest dreams" did he think this could happen. We hope Tigers fans everywhere appreciate that not only is he one of the best pitchers  that will ever come through the organization, but also that he is one of the most humble and generous. As soon as the award was announced he thanked the city of Detroit, his teammates, and the fans, and also said he was never prouder to "represent Detroit--city of resilience and pride." He then got #DetroitPride trending on Twitter in the United States in ten minutes.

Who else does this? How many athletes do you see these days putting the city and the fans, especially a city as down-on-its-luck as Detroit, before themselves, especially when they and they alone have accomplished so much? Most pros would not do that. In a sports world that has been bombarded lately with scandals and fines and crappy sportsmanship, it is refreshing and heartwarming to see one who, despite all his success, plays with his city and teammates in mind, not himself. It's even better to know that this man is a Tiger, and will be for a while.

It's so important that we fans appreciate his greatness, and never take it for granted. Players like Justin Verlander only come around every so often. Seasons like the one he just had are even rarer. 

Congrats, Justin Verlander, 2011 MVP and Cy Young Award winner. You make Detroit proud.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Offseason Blues

Withdrawal. It's a bitch, isn't it?

Seriously, though. Sorry we haven't been updating very often, but when you'e busy counting down the days until Spring Training and whiling away the hours moaning and being jealous of stupid football and hockey fans, you lose track of time.

WE JUST WANT BASEBALL BACK. Good thing we have about three and a half months to go, which doesn't seem like a long time, until you think about the fact that the offseason has been going on for only about three weeks. It also seems longer when you think about the snow and the cold and indoor sports and no sun or warmth or baseball.

So, what does one do when faced with the endless and dreaded winter/offseason two-for-one special from Hell? We have a few ideas.

April in the D's Official Offseason To-Do List
1) Check Bless You Boys (www.blessyouboys.com) often. They have the best/most interesting Tigers coverage in the offseason, if not year round.
2) Stare at this picture of Verlander and the Italian Stallion from their recent jaunt to a Jets game. Studs. Note the grammar.
3) Come up with a dream offseason wish-list that includes Martin Prado, Roy Oswalt, and Amaris Ramirez. Then send to Tigers' front office. Thats all we want for Christmas, Santa Dave Dombrowski!
4) Watch replays of ALDS Game 5. A sweet, sweet victory that includes bragging rights until next year against the d-bags in New Yawk. SUCK IT.
5) Pray on a nightly basis that Gene Lamont is going the Red Sox. Killing two birds with one stone, as far as we're concerned…
6) Beat the cold by snuggling with a loved one in a cozy Detroit Tigers Snuggie. Yes, they exist. Yes, we want one!
7) Read this hilarious new blog by Phil Coke's Brain of Twitter fame. The perfect way to cheer you up during frequent bouts of offseason depression!
8) Pray that the FSD Girls are gone by next year (we're sure we're in the minority on this one).
9) If the FSD girls are NOT gone, pray that certain Tigers players make sexy, distracting appearances on FSD commercials too. Equal opportunity, people, equal opportunity.
10) Make a pilgrimage to Comerica Park. Try to break in and, if successful, go roll around on the field. It will likely be snowing, but it don't matter!!!
11) Go to TigerFest! We really hope the three of us can go this year…
12) Send Nicotine patches to Jim Leyland as a Christmas/Hanukkah gift.
13) Produce endorphins by running in the cold. To get your lazy winter butt out of the house, tell yourself that this is what Doug Fister is doing (he's a runner, if you didn't know)
14) Attempt to see and photograph Doug Fister actually running.
15) Watch football and comment on how much Joe Buck sucks at commentating on any sport.

Well, there you have it! 15 ways to waste time until pitchers and catchers report. In all seriousness, it will be interesting to see what happens next week when the MVP winners are announced. We would say that tomorrow's Cy Young announcement would be interesting, but lets face it: this has been Verlander's award since July. Wrap it up, JV. Wrap it up.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

An Ode to Ordonez

Magglio Ordonez. Magglio. Maggs.                                                                                           

He’s been a playoff hero, a batting-title winner, everyone's favorite Tiger. He's had the best hair in the leagues, and he’s been the not-so-secret crush of many of of our friend’s mothers.  He was perfect.        

He was never more perfect than in 2006, when delivered The Home Run--that beautiful walk off homer against Oakland in the ALCS that seemed to stay in the air for years. He earned then eternal love and adoration of Tigers fans everywhere after that one, no matter how many times we suffered short term memory loss whenever Maggs was in an occasional rut.  And whenever he got in said rut, he would bounce back in full, fantastic Magglio fashion.

 In 2007 he had a phenomenal year, with a .363 (WOW) batting average, 139 RBI, 28 HRs, and was runner up for the AL MVP behind ARod. (One of the many MORE reasons to hate that guy.)  His numbers have since trickled down, and some traitors fair-weather fans losers people didn’t think he had it in him this year.
Well, he showed them.  The second half of his season was great, and he was a clutch badass against the Yankees. He was phenomenal, even in his old age. It was like the Magglio of old had graced us with his presence, showing all the haters of the world exactly just who had helped bring the D back to prominence.                                                                                                                               

Unfortunately, it was not to last. Now that he has re-broken his ankle, hope is officially GONE. He will not come back to play with us next year.  Dombrowski has rightfully ended his (and Carlos') time with the Tigers, and as much as we agree with this decision, it hurts our hearts to know we won't see his Antonio Banderas-esque face in the Tigers dugout. We hope Magglio can settle down and retire with his wife and kids (who's names bear the proof of Magglio's humility) and re-grow his mane of curly locks.

 The spirit of Magglio, and that magical 2006 team,  will always be with us.  He never gave up.  He embodies the fighting spirit of our Tigers.  They don’t stop until they are physically incapable of doing so.  We saw it with Delmon, with Alex, with V-Mart, and even Inge in this year. But no one more so than sweet Magglio. He is a man of inspiration.  Inspiration to his team, to his fans, and to the WORLD.  We know we are getting sappy and melodramatic, but only because he deserves it.  And only because we know its all true. 

We love you, Magglio Ordonez. Thank you for all you have given us.

Friday, October 21, 2011

How to Cope with Heartbreak

Is it really the end? Is this season really over?

We have to admit, we've been pretty devastated over the past week. Not because we're disappointed with our boys. No. They put in a phenomenal effort against the crazy-talented Rangers. That series could have swung either way, which is perhaps one of the greatest contributing factors to our woe. But we'll take that loss. It was well-deserved by the Rangers, and, except for the last game, the Tigers proved to be no pushover.

The worst feeling, though--the emotion that you are all feeling--is heartbreak. What a beautiful season, with a lovable cast of characters that made up the best team we've seen in a while. And its over. It's done. We're not going to see our boys for five months. Five. Months. It's like a dear friend or loved one just leaves you and won't come back for months and months and months and you have to suffer through the long and lonely winter yourself and you miss them already and it has rained everyday since they've been gone or at least it feels like it and you LOVE them and--

Okay. You get the picture. You feel the pain.

And isn't such a huge freaking tease to see the Rangers and Cardinals duke it out, looking all happy and excited because, har har har, they're still in it? We tried to watch Game One of the series, but that involved a feeling akin to having our chests beaten with a spiked club. How dare they feel so happy! They're taking their season for granted! STOP! Enjoy every moment, you fools!

Oh my gosh. We're just going to miss them so. Much.

But, like any relationship "on a break", it's healthier to look back on the good instead of the bad. Hey, remember that time we came back seven runs down on the White Sox? That's when we knew. That's when we, the fans of Detroit, knew we were in love with those crazy kids. Really, truly in love.

Our infatuation started much earlier than that, though. Justin Brooks Verlander and his no-hitter, for instance. That's when sports media decided to turn their collective eye from the east coast and finally realize that this Verlander kid was pretty good.

Yes, this team defied everyone (even us Tiger faithful) from the beginning, what with Big Mig getting arrested for a DUI. The media crucified him, saying that his wayward ways would have extremely negative affects on his baseball career. What did Miggy do then? Oh, nothing much, just put together an MVP caliber season with a batting title thrown in for kicks. Up yours, naysayers!

And what about Victor? What a great mentor and leader he was for the team. What a great dad. What a clutch hitter. He was practically in pieces by the end of the season, but he still had enough in him to motivate our team. He gave everything tonight! (Thanks, Pitbull).

Alex Avila. One of the most unexpected turnarounds we've ever seen. From anyone. And Juh-honny too. He got in great shape and had a career year. Papa Grande….he was the perfect closer. He was scary at times (really, really scary). But he never failed us in a save situation. Not once. We can't ask any more from him.

And of course, our late acquisitions Doug Fister and Delmon Young (and for most of the regular season, before he got injured, Wilson Betemit) really, really helped us out. Without Fister especially, we probably wouldn't have gotten past New York. We might not even have gone to the playoffs!

Speaking of New York, too…what a series. To beat them in their own park? Unreal. Beating the Yankees when not many thought we could really showed that the Detroit Tigers are a seriously good team, and will remain so for the next few years. And come on, how amazing was it to take it to those stupid, puffed up arrogant sons of bitches?! The best feeling in the world.

And of course…Magglio. But we will not go on about him here. Soon we will do our Ode to Ordonez post, where we will revel in his glory. We miss you already, Maggs. The D is not the same without you.

Looking back on the good really did ease some of the pain. And five (or is it four? Can't count in our haze of depression) months is not forever. Our boys will come back rested, beautiful, glowing, and (hopefully) healed, ready to take the AL Central again. We really can't wait. Until then, we will look back on a truly amazing season. See you soon, boys. And thank you.

Oh, and for all of the people who have so very kindly read our blog and linked us and commented and emailed? Thank you very much as well! We had no idea how this would go or if people would like it, so your support means so much. We've had a lot of fun doing this so far, and don't plan on stopping anytime soon. What a fun first season for blogging!

Now, back to our Lifetime movies, Ben and Jerry's ice cream, and Coldplay music. There's only so much reflection we can take...

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Coming Soon

For all two of you who were wondering when we're going to update this thing, don't worry! The next post will be coming either today or tomorrow. We've just been really busy wallowing in the despair of our loss with school and stuff, but never fear. The post is on its way!

Friday, October 14, 2011

ALCS Game Five: True Grit

Ever heard the saying, "It's better to be lucky than be good?" Well, you should have, because Rod Allen says it all the time. We think this quote directly applies to Game Five, because of what will now be known as The Bounce.

Honestly, it's about damn time some luck came Detroit's way! Half the team has some kind of injury/fatigue problem, and the other half are AAA players. Kind of. And all of the games in this past series could have been won by the Tigers too. But Fate (and Nelson Cruz) intervened in the Rangers' favor.

Not this time though.

Luck aside, this has to be the proudest the three of us (and Jim Leyland, and the rest of Tiger Nation too, we bet) have been of Our Boys. Delmon Young blasting two homers with a strained oblique? V-Mart tripling with his myriad of injuries? Zombie Avila rising from the dead to back up his starter? You've got to love the effort.

And speaking of our starter, holy hell, Justin! Some may say that the amount of runs (4) wasn't good. Those people are idiots. JV did exactly what he had to do, and he threw 133 pitches. If it was a normal day, and our bullpen wasn't so worn down, Justin would have exited the game giving up 2 runs over seven innings of do-or-die ball. Those are Doug Fister-like numbers.

Also, Phil Coke? We're now in love with you. We've never seen him so pumped up or clutch, and he had the first 4+ out save since Willie Hernandez. Well done, Phil.

Now we head back to Texas. Scary, but with Scherzer and Fister (who have been as good, if not better, than Verlander in the playoffs) on the mound, we have A Chance. If we can get through Game Six, Game Seven would be slightly to our advantage, seeing as how dominant Fister has been. It's a lot of pressure, and we're still (typically) the underdogs. But we can do it. It's been done before. 1968, anyone?

Thursday, October 13, 2011

ALCS Game Four: Cruz Control

Let us ask this: is there any Tigers fan anywhere who isn't terrified of Nelson Cruz? If you're not terrified, then you loathe him, because in the three losses the Tigers have suffered this series, Nelson Cruz has been the main reason. 

Yes, the Rangers bullpen has been good. Yes, our hitting has been sketchy at best. Yes, Rick Porcello made some mistakes last night. But Nelson Cruz, he of the inconsistent arm, gunned Cabrera down at home on a play that (probably) would have won us the game, and then proceeded to drive another nail in the coffin with a spirit-shattering three-run shot. 

I'm sure this was disheartening and traumatic on television, but let me tell you, it was worse in person. Laura and Megan were there, and holy crap was it brutal to see that ball fly into the Rangers bullpen. Not to mention, we had sat through a two hour rain delay and two hours of more light rain during the game, but it was worth it. But that home run was killer.

Do you still believe? It will be tough. Our offense, beaten and battered as they are, need to give it all they got. Our starting pitching needs to be tremendous, and with Verlander, Scherzer, and Fister, it can be. It would take a lot of luck. But we believe. 

Come on, Tigers. Let's make it a good fight.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

ALCS Games Two & Three: You Lose Some, You Win Some

This will be brief. We don't want to speak much of Texas Grand Slams or creepy mustachio'd pitchers or anemic middles of lineups.

Instead, it's nice to talk about the reemergence of clutch hitting, monster home runs, and the best pitching performance we've seen all postseason.

Doug Fister, we salute you.
Miguel Cabrera, welcome back.
Victor Martinez =gritty goodness.
Austin Jackson, woah, where have you been?
Don Kelly, we love you. Just don't let Jim hit you 5th again.
Valverde, well done. Seriously.
And Terry Francona, we miss you. A lot.

Laura and Megan will be at the game tomorrow. Should be a fun one! Do work, Rick, do work.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

ALCS Game One: When It Rains, It Pours

So…good news or bad news? We always like to start with the bad news first.

-Delmon Young is out for the ALCS (if we were to make it that far, he would hopefully play in the World Series).
-Magglio Ordonez is out for the rest of the postseason.
-This means that Don Kelly and Ryan Raburn are probably going to be playing every game of the ALCS. Don Kelly and Ryan Raburn.
-Two rain delays yesterday knocked Justin Verlander out way, waaaay too early, and are probably contributing to his mediocre performance thus far in the postseason.
-Alex Avila is a zombie.
-It appears that Wilson Betemit lost his eyesight, although this is not confirmed by the Tigers organization. Those "swings" he was taking on those Neftali Feliz fastballs were…disturbing, to say the least.
-Our offense choked in the most unfortunate and unpleasant way, with a total of fourteen (!!!) strikeouts and missed opportunities with runners in scoring position. Who are we, the Yankees?
-We lost.

So…yes. This is not good. And now we have to wait for the rain to stop--again--as Game Two has been delayed until tomorrow at 4:30. Guess who has class at 4:30? All three of us. Thanks a ton, Weather.

Indeed, we are depending on Raburn, DK, Santiago, Inge and probably Dirks to pick up the pieces that their fallen brethren have dropped. Eek. We also need Jackson, Cabrera, Martinez, Peralta and especially    Avila to step up and produce. Otherwise, we're screwed.

So, is there any good in this situation?
-Rick Porcello and Ryan Perry were amazing last night. Well done, boys.
-The Tigers are only one game back. A game.

Not much to brag about, but it's not like hope is Lost. These unfortunate circumstances are the kind of thing that can rally a team together, can motivate them to win. Or it can be the kind of thing that breaks a team. But we're not going to talk about that.

One last thing: Max Scherzer, Dougie Fister and Rick Porcello are going to have to pitch out of their minds to support our battered offense. Plus, unless their names are Joaquin Benoit or Jose Valverde, we're not really fond of seeing much of our bullpen this series.

Sure would be nice to leave rainy Arlington with the series tied. It's time to go hard, or have a rough time when we go home.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

ALDS Game Five: How Sweet It Is

Game Cinco came off to an easy, relaxed start with back to back homers from DK and Delmon Young on back to back pitches from Nova.  We were happy. Thrilled, and we thought to ourselves "wow, i hope the rest of the game goes like this!"  It wasn't.  Game Five inspired a lot of feelings in us, a lot of them unpleasent. 

 Nausea, tears, small heart attacks, and a ton of anxiety. We managed to get out of TWO bases loaded situations with only one out, and only ONE RUN scoring. That was incredible, and also hell on the nerves.  The last inning, Papa Grande was flawless.  It was a thing of beauty.  All of that anxiety, nervousness, and ickiness, feelings that prevented the three of us from eating since the night before, all vanished and was replaced with sheer and utter joy.  Our shrieks of gaiety could probably have been heard from Mars.  And there was something about winning the ALDS against the hated Yankees that made it that much sweeter.  

Everyone in their dugout looked so sad, and miserable. We loved it.   Everyone at TBS seemed equally depressed, which made it that much more enjoyable.  The adrenaline from that game kept us all up into the wee hours of the morning watching ESPN, laughing hysterically as Valverde got continually deluged in bubbly, seeing Little Victor partake in the champagne celebration with his father (who sent Ajax home with an RBI single as the key third run) listening to all the shmucks out there raving about the pure GENIUS of putting Don Kelly in the second slot, and agreeing fervently to accounts of how amazing Delmon Young is. Our boys deserved this so much, and we couldn't be happier for them.  Nothing can rain on our parade, at least until tonight when we kick of the ALCS with the Rangers. 

Speaking of, Laura and Megan will at Game Four. They'll be in section 138, row 2, so come say hello!  Rosie will be stuck in Georgia screaming at the TV during the came and not at all trying to conceal her jealousy. This team definitely has what it takes to make it, and we can't wait. Suck it TBS and the Yankees,  Let's Go Tigers!!! BEAT TEXAS.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

ALDS Game Four: Ew.

You guys know that feeling you get when the Tigers win a playoff game? After the initial sensation of terror over a Papa Grande save wear off, you feel like you're on top of the world.   Like you would passionately kiss the next person you saw (preferably Austin Jackson Rick Porcello Brennan Boesch Ryan Perry Alex Avila Magglio Ordonez a Tiger). Like if someone mugged you on the street, you'd just smile and say "That's alright! Take my wallet, you look like you're a little down on your luck! Please don't hit me to hard! Have a nice daaayyyyy!!! (Okay, maybe a little extreme. But after we won the world series perhaps)

Now we know all too well the feeling after the Tigers lose a playoff game. Like you want to get into a bloody, violent fistfight with the next schmuck you see (preferably a Yankee. Any Yankee). Like turning off the lights in your bedroom, lighting twenty candles,  eating cartons of Ben and Jerry's and sobbing in your room to the Brian's Song (no? Not you? Just us? Okay then).

We don't really want to venture to far into the disgusting and gruesome details of tonights game. We only have a few things to say here.

1) Curtis Granderson…WHY????????
    Seriously, though. That first catch he made was not that impressive, it just looked impressive because he   read it wrong. That second catch, though…that was the death blow. Without those two catches, that might have been a completely different game. BETRAYAL. He reeks of it.

2) We knew A.J. was going to pitch well.
    Everyone--ESPECIALLY Yankee fans--were bitching about how Burnett was going to suck. Hello? Never, ever, ever say that too much, because then, due to a little something called karma, the guy is going to get all pumped and completely rock our shit. Maybe that was the Yankees plan all along. Brilliant…

3) Looking For Hitters
    When the player who looks best with the bat is Don Kelly, you know it's not a good day. But seriously, nothing was going our way. Nothing.

So, that being said, Game Five is almost upon us. On Thursday night, Tigers fans will anxiously be watching as our team takes on the Yankees in their sandbox of a ballpark, facing the man who three-hit us only a few nights ago.

You know what? Our boys can do this. They absolutely can. We at April in the D don't have a doubt in our minds that if Fister pitches as well as he's capable of--which is very, very well--then we will win. Our offense may have been shut down, but our team has a knack for bouncing back. You think Miggy and V-Mart aren't going to get fired up? You thought wrong. You reasoned that Fister was going to have a repeat performance of "Game 1"? Try again. This team has been thwarting the haters all season, and there is no way they're going to stop now.

Is Nova going to be good? Yes. Are we going to have better defense and offense against him? Hell yes. As tough as this loss was, our boys have a day to focus in and get ready for the biggest game of the season. Thus far. It's time to put up or shut up--may the best team win.

The Yankees are good. We have to prove that we're better.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

ALDS Game Three: We Heart Comerica (And Justin, And Ramon, And Delmon…)

Wow. Wow. Wow.

We didn't know what to do when Papa Grande got that final strikeout on The Captain. Scream? Laugh? Cry? Throw up? All were valid and understandable options, so if you did any of these (especially the last one), do not be ashamed. If you had a heart condition/panic disorder and you were watching this game, we send our condolences, because you are probably in the hospital right about now. But it was worth it. So, so worth it.

Where do we start? With Justin giving up those two early, early runs? With the Little Guys--Ramon Santiago, Brandon Inge, Don Kelly--coming up where our big sluggers fell short? With Justin coming back to completely dominate in the middle of the game? With Delmon Young hitting that go-ahead home-run? With the Big Potato walking two, then striking out Jeter for the final out?

Yeah. It was one of those kinds of games that so much exciting, scary, and thrilling stuff happens it leaves us curled in a little ball on the floor, rocking back and forth. Too much for our hearts to take!

You know what was the best part of that game though? Watching all of those Yankee fly balls that would have been homers in Yankee Stadium land harmlessly in the gloves of Tiger outfielders. Thank god the Tigers play in a REAL ballpark. Our outfield wall isn't 30 feet from home plate, unlike some stadiums we could mention! We know this has been said a lot, but seriously--Cabrera would be hitting 70 homers a year if he played in New York (GOD FORBID).

And we have to say it one more time: screw these goddamn TBS announcers. It's not just them sucking up to the Yankees anymore. It's the way they are insulting our team and then later looking like fools. Example: the three "professional" announcers light into Austin Jackson for not sac bunting. Next thing they know, he draws a walk. They then do the same to Ramon Santiago. What does he do? Oh, nothing, just hits an RBI single. I mean, please. Way to insult our player's poor decisions until after the at-bat. Our brains are bleeding just thinking about these jackasses.

Well! Tomorrow's the big day. Can we clinch it? Can Rick Porcello put on his Dr. Jekyll face and completely have his way with the Yankee lineup? Will we do as much damage off of A.J. Burnett as everyone says we will? I guess we'll find out.

Keep believing, Tiger Faithful. We can do this.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

ALDS Game Two: And the Series is Tied!

We won!  We won! We won!

We three are going  to ignore the fact the Jose Valverde literally blew up in the ninth inning. We're going to overlook the fact that the hated Nick Swisher hit a home run in the ninth inning.  We're even going to pretend we didn't hear the TBS announcers verbally blow the Yankees.  Do you want to know why?  It is because we won. And unlike no-hitters, or statistics, or history, or Derek Jeter, or anything else, winning is the only thing that matters in the post-season.

Hell yeah!

So let's look at the positives for now!  Firstly, and most importantly, is Max Scherzer's performance.  Right before the post-season, Rogo from DesigNate Roberston wrote a wonderful post on the importance of Max Scherzer. We couldn't have agreed more with him, and boy did Max deliver!  He took a no-hitter into the sixth and had zero earned runs on the day.  Our boy Benoit (or Ben-OYT as the boys at TBS would say) pitched very well today as well, despite giving up a solo home run to Curtis Granderson, as he got out of no-out two-men-on jam that Max left him.

The two spot also delivered today.  Magglio went 3-3, and good ol' Don Kelly laced a very important RBI single in the top of the 9th to give the Tigers a four run lead. If the Tigers are going to get to the World Series, they're going to need production from every part of the line-up, not just Latino Row, so great work DK! We commend you! We also congratulate Miguel Cabrera for providing us with three runs today and for stealing a base. Miguel Cabrera stole a base everyone! That is how badly he wants to move on to the ALCS.

More positives:  The Tigers head back to CoPa tomorrow, so the Yankees don't get to keep hitting pathetic fly balls that are home runs in the Yankee's itty bitty park. Also, the heavyweights are pitching tomorrow!  Justin Verlander, the probable AL Cy Young winner, and CC Sabathia, 6'7" and about 500 lbs. We feel very optimistic about the Tigers chances at home, and hopefully JV can deliver for us.

So yeah, that game was a little bit scary there at the end, but the end result is a tied ALDS. There's so much to look forward to in the next couple of days, and we can't wait for some more post-season baseball.  Get the defibrillators folks! This series looks to be a wild ride!

ALDS Game One: What the F--

I think the title says it all. Nothing went right. NOTHING. We never thought we would say this, but the Yankees have done the impossible of actually making us kind of hate Curtis Granderson. Stupid Yankee players. Stupid ugly dumb disgusting Yankee fans. Stupid nauseatingly biased TBS announcers. You can all DIE.
Tomorrow is a must win. Seriously. WE MUST WIN. Somethings gotta give, because that was one of the worst games we've played all season. No luck.

We still believe in our boys. We need to take this game tomorrow. And if we don't…well, that's one hell of a hole to climb out of.

Here's one last dose of 2nd-grade level immaturity for you, though: doesn't the picture below just get your blood boiling? Doesn't it make you want to beat those f#@$@^% Yankees just THAT MUCH MORE??? 

We Hate You. Douchebag.

This is the face of evil: Nick Swisher, That One Outfielder On The Yankees That Runs His Ugly Mouth Too Much And Thinks He's Cooler And More Talented Than He Actually Is. This is also the guy who said that the Yanks were going to beat the Tigers "Hands Down". 

Well if the above picture and quote doesn't make you want to bitch-slap the Yankees into last Tuesday, there's something wrong with you. This, people, is what is called motivation. Let's take it to the Yanks tomorrow in Game 2. I don't want to see this idiot smile his goon smile for a long time.

(Doesn't directing your frustration at Swisher make you feel better? Nothing wrong with some healthy misplaced aggression…)

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Testing the Waters

Ok…so that sucked. Here we are, all decked out in Tigers gear, ready for an epic clash of pitching titans, hyperventilating as our boys took the field, and what happens? Rain delay in the middle of the second--conveniently after Raburn and Avila were blinded by the downpour and C.C. made them look like fools. At least Cal Ripken was on our side. Everyone else who works for TBS just can't get enough of those damn Yankees.

And have you checked the weather tomorrow? It's SUCKISH. It'll be a miracle if we play. And if we do, they better make sure we can actually play it this time, not half-ass start it and then be like, "Oh, just playin'! No game today! Sorry we put your best pitchers on the field and now they can't get out there until game freakin' three! LOLZ WERE STOOPID!!!"

Can you tell we're angry?

Actually, though, there is a bright side. First of all, did you see how nervous our team was? Cabrera was nervous. Inge was nervous. Verlander walked two batters, so he was a little nervous. The only one who seemed unfazed by this whole "playoff" business was the jaded Delmon Young. As he should be. But that could have been a good test run-get our boys out there, get them used to the atmosphere of Yankee Stadium, so on and so forth. Obviously this isn't good for Verlander at all, but at least they won't have Sabathia either. Plus, we love Verlander at Comerica. How can we possibly lose that one? And Doug Fister's starting tomorrow. Hellz yes.

The only thing that worries me is Scherzer at Yankee Stadium, which, if you haven't noticed, gives up home runs as often as TBS commentators bend over for Yankee players (sorry, inappropriate). What we mean by that is: this is NOT the best place for Mad Max to pitch.

Oh well. At least we didn't LOSE today! And Jim Leyland took the right attitude today when he said that he wasn't going to blow this out of proportion. Just take one game at a time. Hey, if we can win twelve straight with three Brad Penny starts thrown in the mix, we can win anything. Right?

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Random Tigers Thoughts From Laura: Postseason Edition

Hello! It's been a while since I've done one of these. I'll try to keep the girlish dithering to a minimum...but, honestly! It'll be kind of hard what with all the amazing, exciting, unbelievable things that have been happening to our boys lately. Bear with me on the randomness, too; who knows what I'll write in my sleep-deprived, Tiger-loving, overexcited and overstressed state!

First off, lets go with something that is unrelated (for now) to our Tigers…
Breaking News: Braves lose to Phillies, blow Wild-Card lead, Cardinals in the Playoffs
Seriously? Can you believe this s%$^ ?
I know many people are excited to see this kind of historic collapse happen (especially to the unbearably cocky, unbelievably overpaid Red Sox), but it makes me have horrifying flashbacks to the dreaded Game 163 and the weeks leading up to it. Thank the Baseball Gods that our 2011 squad is completely different, but it makes me feel sad for the Braves to pull such an epic fail. And as I type, Sawx Nation is crying tears of entitled fury as Jonathan Papelbon blows the save with one out to go. Orioles win! My God! Though I blocked out most of that incredibly disappointing season, even I know that our boys weren't this pathetic.
Ohhhmygawd! Longoria homers! Tampa wins!!! Is this even real life?!!?!?! Can you say Biggest Collapse Ever??????

Ahem. In Other News, It's Time to Take Down the Yankees.
I am now so happy we're not playing those crazy Rays. I mean, holy hell. Besides, I like, if not love, our chances with Verlander and Verlander Pt. II Dougie going in Games 1 & 2 in New York.  And sorry, Yanks, besides C.C., none of your pitchers can hold a candle to ours. I'm nervous for these games, but an excited, giggly sort of nervous. Now, if we were playing the Rays, I'd just be a blubbering, anxious mess. But not now. It's time to stick it to these pompous pricks from the Bronx (even you, Curtis!).

Miguel Cabrera. MVP.
Seriously. I mean those words. Not Justin Verlander (sorry dude). Not Jose Bautista. Definitely not Jacoby Ellsbury. Miguel Cabrera, the man who everyone said would succumb to his off-the-field issues. Miguel Cabrera, the guy who every sports writer in the country turned their backs on. Miguel Cabrera, the happiest, most huggable-looking guy in the clubhouse.
Well, guess what bitches? He just won the batting title. After being overshadowed all season by Adrian Gonzales.
That's right. All those jerks who said that Miggy was a failure or a lush or a distraction to the team can all shove it. If you couldn't tell, this particular topic is one I feel very strongly about. Even people who I thought were Tiger Faithful were turning their backs on our superstar. Well, here's the deal: without Cabrera, we wouldn't be going to the playoffs. He is the most feared hitter in baseball for a reason, and he seems to have gotten his off-the-field issues taken care of, not that it even matters. Sorry, haters…
PS-in addition to Miggy winning the batting title, Valverde has the most saves this year and Verlander won the AL Triple Crown. Sick. Just sick.

Oh Ozzie
Well, I'm not gonna go all Brandon Inge, Je T'aime on this one, but I'm actually going to miss this guy! He was always so freaking honest, and I just loved it when he would put his team down after we beat them. That was the best. So colorful, so inappropriate…so typically Chicago. I'm not sure who they're hiring to replace him, but anyone would look like a boring stiff in comparison to Oz. Oh, he will be missed. Good luck in Miami, buddy.

Random Random Ridiculousness
Ok, I know some of you who read this site are educated, serious, learned baseball lovers who, for some reason unbeknownst to me, come to this site to read the ramblings of three collegiate girls. But I also know some who come to this page do it for the fluff pieces! I stumbled upon this website a few months back and it is about as fluffy, ridiculous, and NSFW as a baseball site (or any site) can be. But if you're a girl (or just find baseball players attractive at all!) and you're not one of those stuffy conservative boring types who can't take some major inappropriateness, then GO. Go now. You'll see what I mean. Oh, but if any heterosexual guys read this site (unlikely)? I wouldn't click the link. I just wouldn't. You have been warned…

Before I go, a few things. We might be a little late on this, but I thought it would be cool if the three of us got a Twitter account so we could tweet our oft-hysterical reactions to the upcoming playoff games. Should we? Should we not? Who knows, it might be fun…
Oh, and if our boys make the ALCS? You can count on me and Megan being there. If they do actually make it, we'll tell you guys where we're at so if you see us you can say hello!

That's all from my end. Expect some MAJOR coverage as our boys take on those horrible Yanks on Friday and Saturday. And if you're bored, go watch that Evan Longoria walk-off clip again. Come on, you know you want to. It's so heartwarming! God, I love baseball...

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Sorry. But Not Too Sorry.

Sorry we haven't posted in a while. We are now all back to college, and the work is kicking our collective you-know-whats.  But something has been getting us through the madness that is school. What is it? 


A game that elicited much screaming and merriment from us.  Yay!  Now, we can be slightly annoyed, but not outraged, when Brad Penny decides he can't remember how to pitch (like he did a few days ago). When one of our infielders makes an error, no longer do we scream in horror, but instead smile and shake our heads ("Oh, that crazy Inge!"). Now we can rub our championship status in the faces of the Tiger-haters that surround us at our respective schools (Laura goes to school in Ohio. Indians fans aren't so loud and proud now, huh??). 

Although we've had a few losses thrown in there, everybody's been doing pretty good work. The pitchers have been doing a stellar job (including the pen) and when they don't, our hitters back them up. And when we're just not getting the job done--like tonight, for example--we are comforted in knowing that WE'RE THE AL CENTRAL CHAMPIONS. 

Even though the championship merchandise is really, really lacking in style factor, we're not sorry. 

It's not time to rest on our laurels, though (like it ever is??), because we wan't that home field advantage. We are currently tied with Texas, and it is now time for us to make that final push into playing the ALDS at home. With Verlander and Fister pitching like Ace #1 and Ace #1.5, if we get the advantage it practically guarantees us the win. 

And hopefully, with that advantage, we will be playing Boston. Not to put our boys down or anything, but there is no way we want to see Tampa (or L.A., for that matter) in the first round. Or ever. Their pitching staff scares us.

Still. It's a little hard to get us nervous or unhappy these days. Our boys have made the playoffs. It's going to be pretty fun to see how far they go.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Baseball: America's Cure-All

Before we get to the real heart of this post, we just have a quick word to say about the Tiger's play in the past twelve games.

The word is: WOW.

That pretty much sums that up.

Now to the point. This post was supposed to come three days ago, but due to college/work/general busyness, it is a little delayed. We've barely had time to watch our boys win twelve straight (!!!). But there was one pretty big news story lately that changed not only the sports world, but the whole world. Obviously, we're talking about September 11th.

You may be thinking, Wow, how irrelevant. This is a silly blog with ridiculous posts about juvenile topics and now they want us to read something else about 9/11? Nuh-uh. What does that have to do with baseball or the Tigers? But please, hear us out. This relates to baseball and the Tigers. Just bear with the seriousness for a few paragraphs and we'll go back to our girlish musings on Rick Porcello's chiseled features soon, okay? Okay.

Hit the jump and we'll tell you more...

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Can't Be Tamed

This is what the Tigers have won since we last posted:

-Destroyed White Sox in the second biggest butt-kicking in the MLB this year
-Won series opener against Indians by way of Doug Fister's 13 (!!!) strikeouts, a career high
-Chased Fausto Carmona out early by putting up 8 combined runs in the 1st and 2nd innings, going on to win 10-1
-Jose Valverde got his 42nd save, tying Todd Jones for most club saves all time
-And, finally, swept and demoralized the Tribe with a come-from-behind victory thanks to Victor Martinez's grand slam (which got him a good slapping around from Justin Verlander!)

Yeah. Not much. Just two sweeps, one home and one away, of our two closest division rivals.

(Also, apparently we CAN win in Cleveland. Maybe because that witch girl dancing behind home plate wasn't there? Guess girlfriend's powers can't curse us forever.)

For serious, though--who could have dreamed this would happen? We're not part of the grumble-grumble-pessimist-We-Hate-Leyland-Tigers-Are-Collapsing crowd, but never in our wildest dreams did we think our team would do this. Chicago is closest to us in the AL Central race, at 9 back. Our Magic Number is now 12.

Barring what would be an unbelievable, epic, Met-like collapse, the Tigers are going the playoffs (knock on wood). There. As much as it scared us to actually write that sentence, it is what is going to happen. There is no denying it now. Besides playing the White Sox in Chicago next week, there aren't any more difficult series. The Central belongs to the Tigers.

And you know what we love most about the past six days? Before, we kept hearing that, save for Verlander, this team's pitching staff was average at best. What Max Scherzer, Doug Fister, and Rick Porcello just did was not mediocre. No, if our pitching staff can keep going strong throughout these last few weeks, we will roll into October with a lineup that absolutely no one wants to face.

Oh, and our hitters! We've said it before and we'll say it again: this year, Dave Dombrowski is looking like a straight up genius. Our hitters, led by Victor Martinez and Miguel Cabrera, have scored 57 runs in the past 6 days. It really doesn't even matter who Leyland puts out there--even with the cringe-inducing lineup today, we still pounded out 8 runs. Our hitters can do no wrong.

Plus, we love the attitude. The Tigers, as Rod has frequently and persistently reminded us, now have lots of Swagger. They come in confident, but not cocky. They've learned that lesson. Jim Leyland, too, is taking the appropriate response to his team's success. Obviously he wasn't going to go "Yep, we got dis ish in the BAG" but it's good to see him constantly say that the Tigers have to keep grinding out the wins and that nothing is guaranteed yet.

Of course, there is always at least one catch, and that is our poor Baby Brennan's thumb. He's out for the year, but at least he can still hang with the team. We actually don't need him, what with Maggs, Delmon, Dirks and Raburn coming up big, but it makes us sad to see his baby face on the bench. Poor thing! He's the one Tiger who can be tamed...

Well, maybe him and Big Brad, the one starter who has underperformed this week. We'll see how he does Friday against the Twins. Hopefully he can move the Tigers closer to their goal of division champs!!

Sunday, September 4, 2011


Yeah, he's a boss.

Oh, yes they did.

We have never, in our many years of watching Tigers baseball, seen* a comeback that momentous. A blend of bad Brad Penny pitching, untimely poor defense, and the usual crappy umpiring put us in an 8-1 hole. Fabulous. In the past, we could expect our boys to take this loss sitting down, getting a major smackdown from the hated Sox today and focusing on tomorrow, hoping to win the series finale with Scherzer on the mound. By the third inning, all of Tiger Nation had accepted that the White Sox were probably going to take this game.

The Tigers, however, had other ideas.

What, did you think this was 2009?  This team obviously isn't going to take a loss sitting down. This team clearly isn't going to give up in a pennant race. This team has learned that every. Game. COUNTS.
How else can you explain the onslaught of offense that built up to the most dramatic ninth inning we've seen in years?

After Austin Jackson (four more hits!!! Someone's getting hot), Wilson Betemit, Delmon Young, Juh-honny Peralta and more made a seven-run deficit into a two-run one, and the not-so-oft-used David Pauley and rookie Luis Marte pitched four scoreless innings to keep the White Sox at bay, it was time to stage the biggest comeback in Comerica Park history. And this is where the Drama comes in.

Wilson Betemit Strikes Out. One gone.
Austin Jackson Singles. Of course he does!
Ryan Raburn Homers (!!!!!!!!).

Seriously?! Look, we know we have never been the biggest Raburn fans. But we've also never been part of the Haters Club. So for Ray Ray to launch that majestic, 420 foot shot into the stands, give a fist pump, and round the bases with the game all tied up was a very heartwarming thing indeed. Haters, without Ryan Raburn we probably would not have won that game. It was beautiful.

Funny thing was, as far as epicness goes, it wasn't even close to what happened next.

Delmon Young Strikes Out. Two gone.

Ok, we thought. We can settle for a tie ball game. We'll just win it extras!
Our thoughts were not shared by Miguel Cabrera.
Why? Because Miguel Cabrera wanted to win NOW. Miguel Cabrera wanted to make a statement to these White Sox. The statement: The Central Division is Ours.

The No-Doubter that came off his bat off of the first pitch had such beautiful timing, we almost teared up. The team went crazy, we went crazy, the fans in the stadium went crazy, Jim Leyland went crazy (for him), and we're sure all you people watching at home did too.

That was one of the the final nails in the coffin to the White Sox's season, don't you think? What a demoralizing loss for them. In fact, it seems like the kind of loss our boys might have taken down the stretch in the past few years. But this year, it seems everything is Different.

We have been afraid to say it, because we've been down this road of false hope before. But this team wants the Postseason, and they're going to get it. Valverde is still--still!--perfect. We have a club full of professional hitters ready to back our big slugger up. AJax has awoken. Our bullpen is finally pitching to their potential. We've had amazing pickups late in the season. But it is players Justin Verlander,, who's great outing yesterday was overshadowed by today's theatrics, and Miguel Cabrera, who's becoming more and more clutch by the game, who we need to thank the most.

What this long and rambling and emotional article is trying to say is that this team is Going The Distance. And it's games like these that fuel teams to go far. Keep it up, babies. Keep it up.

PS-Did anyone see Max Scherzer's reaction to Cabrera's homer? Holy crap, he's excitable. If you don't know what we're talking about, watch the bench's reaction to the walk-off. You'll see what we mean.

*We didn't get to actually WATCH this game. We listened on the radio and watched Gametracker. Stupid Fox broadcast wasn't in our region, so of course we miss the most exciting game of the year. So typical.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

A Letter to Doug Fister

Dear Doug,

I'm sorry. I'm so, so, so sorry.  

First can I say how amazing you were today?  How fantastic you are to watch?  After a game in which the Kansas City Royals pounded us with 18 hits, you were absolutely perfect through six innings and only allowed four hits and one run through 7 and 2/3.  You were amazing on the mound, exhibiting an amazing control and a nearly perfect eye for the strike zone.  Doug, you were exhilarating to watch, and I feel so happy that you're on our team during a playoff race that could prove to be very close.  Your stuff is amazing, and I commend you.

The Tigers don't deserve you.  You came from the Mariners with a promise of something you've never had this season. The Tigers stacked lineup promised you run support, wins, and an opportunity to shine on a division-leading team.  What did we give you today?  While you were on the mound we only managed two hits, and we couldn't even get you a run. Not a single run.  "It's all right," you say,  "I'm used to it."  But that's just it, Doug, you shouldn't be used to this treatment.  You should be getting the same hustle that Justin Verlander gets every time he steps on the mound.  You deserved the win today, you really did, and I'm so so sorry that we couldn't do it for you.

So, Doug, I just wanted to tell you that you shouldn't feel sad. We did win tonight, in dramatic fashion.  So at least we're still winning the central! Please don't hate us. You should have gotten the win. You did your part. It should be you that gets the glory.  You should be all smiles after your performance today, and I'm just happy that we could pull the win out eventually so you could at least go home with a small smirk.  Before you leave the clubhouse tonight, make sure you get a big hug from Cabrera or something.  Make sure someone tells you how amazingly talented and wonderful you are.  I know we got the win, and maybe you're saying, "Calm down! It's all good! A win is a win is a win!"  And that's true Doug, that's true.  But you deserve more than what we've been giving you. And I swear our hitters will try to be better. They will.

With all the Tiger-love and empathy in the world,


P.S. Say "congrats" to Lil' Ramon will ya? You two should be SO proud!

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Hey Dave! Your Genius is Showing!!!

What a G(M)!
In case you haven't noticed, Dave Dombrowski is a genius.

This isn't something we've said in recent years. It's not that we've hated everything he's done, it's just that the trades he's made in the past couple of years haven't been amazing, or season-changing, or memorable.  This year however, has been exactly the opposite.  Dave Dombrowski has somehow managed to give this team  everything they've needed without giving up anything that was anywhere near essential.  Without his trades, the Tigers might not be the post-season quality team that they are at this point in the season.

The Fister/Pauley trade was perhaps the most important trade we've made so far this year, and people, Dougy was a steal.  The Tigers were obviously having a severe problem with winning when their fifth pitcher was on the mound, as evidenced by Phil Coke's 1-8 record. However, it was worse than that. Before the Tigers acquired Fister, the Tigers had a 4-17 record when the fifth starter was pitching, as opposed to a 52-34 record when the other four were starting.  Obviously the Tigers needed a new starter, and Doug has delivered.  He has a 3-1 record in his five starts so far with the Tigers, and he also has pitched seven innings in three of the games he's started, giving our bullpen a break.  He was totally worth it, and even though we miss Casper Wells' stellar personality, we cannot say that we needed his bat, or Charlie Furbush's arm or two of the minor league prospects, as much as we needed Fister on the mound.

The acquisition of Wilson Betemit was also just what the Tigers needed.  Yes, his defense hasn't been amazing, but at that point in time, with our top third basemen being Brandon Inge (who was hitting .177) and Don Kelly (who really should play off the bench) the Tigers really needed to find a guy that could produce offensively. With Wilson in our line-up we are an incredibly formidable team.  As a Tiger, Wilson is hitting an astounding .324, which is obviously much better than the production we had been getting. Yes he's already made four errors, but with Don and Brandon waiting on the bench, he can come out in late-inning defensive situations. To have this sort of offensive production from a place in our line-up that seemed hopeless is huge for the Tigers offensively.  And once again, who did we lose to obtain him? Just two class-A prospects that really couldn't have helped us in this year's pennant race.

Delmon Young has been a huge help to the Tigers as well since he's been here. We have to admit, we were a little bit skeptical of Delmon, considering that he was not only a Hated Minnesota Twin, but he was also a Tiger Killer. We basically hated Delmon whenever he played us.  But now that we think about it, it's great to have that kind of power on our team instead of against us. In his 12 games with the Tigers he already has 10 RBI and is hitting .308. Considering he's helping to support Magglio Ordonez, who is only hitting .230 this season with 24 RBI in 77 games, he is dead useful.  Once again, defensively he's not that best.  But with Austin covering 80% of the outfield anyway, who really cares?  Delmon's clutch hits in some of our recent games have given the tigers the runs they've needed to win some close ones.  And once again, we didn't lose anyone that could have possibly helped us get to the post-season this year. Dave really has put us in great position to win the American League Central for the first time since 1984.

So Dave, props to you. Fantastic job this year, good buddy.  You have somehow managed to construct an incredibly talented team that, we think, has what it takes to get to the post-season.  Cheers!

Thursday, August 25, 2011

A Few Days in Tampa Bay

First off, we must say: What an amazing, exciting, confidence-boosting turnaround by our team. Although tonight's loss was a little disheartening thanks to Brandon Inge, Defensive Replacement, it's still heartening to know that by the end of the night we will be at least 5.5 games up on the competition for the AL Central crown. After that horrible series against Minnesota, we sweep Cleveland in dramatic fashion and win two very good and close games against the Rays. Last night's win in particular was outstanding, as Brad Penny out-dueled David Price. That was a sentence we never thought we would write, but things seem to really be going the Tigers way lately.

Secondly, we're sorry we haven't posted in a while. Because we have pretty busy schedules lately, including one of us going back to school for the fall, we needed to take a break. And it just so happened that Laura and Megan took that break....

In Tampa. The Tampa Bay Area. Yes, with the Tigers. 

You reader(s) may remember that about a month back Sam from Roar of the Tigers accidentally stayed in the team hotel in Minnesota. For us, it was not so much of an accident. At all. Don't worry, we're not as crazy as we sound, and we didn't harass (or even approach) any Tigers, but it was very fun and entertaining and STRANGE to see the Tigers dressed in normal clothes, walking around doing normal(ish) things.

We all have seen the Tigers up close and personal at games (obviously) and we're sure a lot of you have seen them at events or promotions or randomly on the street or wherever. But to see all these Tigers in such a small space in such a short amount of time was a little more than we could take. Meeting Curtis Granderson alone in 2009 made us almost pass out. So you can only imagine our euphoria when we were in the same hotel as all of them. At once.

Oh yeah, there was a game too, and a good one. Jump with us to read in detail about all of the Tampa Bay Fun...

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Make It or Break It

So. That was a fun series, right guys?

Tigers vs. Twins. 1st place vs. 4th place. In Detroit. Tigers acquired a very good player from the Twins in Delmon Young. The Tigers should have been completely dominant for the whole series. They certainly were when Verlander was on the mound. As per usual, Justin was amazing. But this fairly dramatic blog post isn't going to be dwelling on the shiny happy points of the series so much.

No, this post is going to be focused on the fact that, after tonight's soul-crushing, heartbreaking loss with the Cleveland Idiots breathing down our necks once again, it is now officially time for our boys to show up or go home.

What exactly do we mean by this? Well, we'll tell you AFTER THE JUMP...

Monday, August 15, 2011

What The What?!?

Carlos Guillen is on the DL (surprising no one). Will Rhymes was called up. Delmon Young is sent to Tigers. Will Rhymes is sent down.

What?? Too much has happened these past few days for us to keep up. And lately, unless Justin Verlander is on the mound, our team is playing not-so-great.

For now, we're going to say we like this trade. Maybe the Young will give our team the boost they need to win the division. He already hit a HR in his first at bat!!

After today's game, we'll write a longer post. But for now, we're still just shocked that this move actually happened!

Friday, August 12, 2011

The Real Reason Why The Tigers Suck in Cleveland

The Tiger's three-game series in Cleveland is over (finally). During that stretch we have seen many, many plays transpire in Progressive Field--most of them not going our way. Aside from Austin Jackson's great catch, Justin Brooks Verlander's 10 K's, and Papa Grande's 33rd save, there wasn't much to be pleased about. It should be noted that the club had been on a 12 game losing streak in Cleveland in addition to a 6-3 season record against them.

First, we sleepily watched as the Indians scraped by with a walk-off HBP that ended at 2 a.m. after 14 innings, a 2-hour rain delay, and nonexistent hitting. Next, our eyes bled as Rick Porcello was used and abused in an extremely lopsided 10-3 loss. Finally, only by the grace of the Baseball Gods and the freakish powers of Verlander were our boys able to crawl out of Cleveland with a win.

It was weird, confusing baseball for the whole series. Our Tigers did not look like the Tigers who had taken the previous two series from KC and Texas. Something was amiss.

Just what was amiss? Take a look after the jump...

Monday, August 8, 2011

No Haters Allowed

Four games up in the Central. One of the best winning percentages we've had all year. Clutch, gritty wins with good pitching and hitting. Victor Martinez is going to be fine. With all of these good things, what could we possibly be annoyed about? Well, we'll tell you.

After witnessing one of the best catches we have ever seen on Saturday by one of our most exciting young players, the three of us have something we would like to get off our chests. And by something, we mean A Rant. Bear with us, please...

It's no secret that the three of us are big Austin Jackson fans. If you've read even a few of our blog posts, you know this to be true. So it is always a sure way to boil our blood when Tigers "fans" post comments about how A-Jax sucks or how he should have been traded to Seattle or how he should be in Triple-A.

Well to the Haters, we say: suck it.  This is why he's on our team. Not because he is a stellar hitter (yet). But because he is far and away the best defender the Tigers have, and the best center fielder we've seen wear the Old English D. Yes. Better than Curtis Granderson.

Does Jackson strike out too much? Hell yes. Is he doing somewhat poorly at the plate this year? Absolutely. Is it fair to compare him to Granderson, his predecessor? Of course. But before "Tiger Nation" makes him their whipping boy in the vein of Brandon Inge or Ryan Raburn, remember what he is capable of doing offensively (hitting .293 last year). Remember that he is only 24 years old. And most importantly, remember that his defense literally wins games for us.

So before you "loyal fans" out there start to type an uninformed, misspelled comment slamming A-Jax for not living up to your lofty expectations about what a 24 year old center fielder in his sophomore season should be doing, think about what he has done, and think about what he has the potential to do.

Also, just look at this. Someone this sexy can't be in Triple-A. Please. 

On a happier, less preachy note, the Tigers are still four games ahead of Cleveland as we head into a pivotal  three game series. We're dying to see Verlander/Jimenez--as in, we're dying to see Jimenez torched by American League bats again. Welcome to the Central, buddy.

Before we go we should mention one last thing: Megan and Laura are road-tripping to Tampa in a few weeks to watch our boys take on the rays. So exciting!!! Especially since we haven't been to many games this year. Expect a crazy recap afterwards. You know how ridiculous we can be...

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Teach Me How To Dougie


We changed the Look of April in the D a little bit! Like it? Don't like it? Please, let us know! We don't mean to brag, but the three of us love it. 

So. The Trade. We have to be honest--at first, it made us incredibly sad to think that our beloved Casper "Upstate Baller" Wells would not be filling the Tiger's dugout with his absurd handshakes or flooding twitter with his crazy tweets. But we must say, this was one of the better trades that Dave Dombrowski has made in his time here in the D. We got a good starter (Doug Fister aka Dougie) and a solid reliever (David Pauley aka Pauly D) without giving up any of our key young players, which was what we were worried about to begin with.

On one hand, we kept reading and hearing whiny Tigers fans bitch about Dougie's record was 3-12. Look, idiots. This guy had the lowest run support in Major League Baseball. In fact, by the time the Tigers had scored him three runs, Doug had received more run support than he had all year. That's how bad the Mariners are.

On the other hand, we kept reading and hearing whiny Tigers fans bitch about how Cleveland got Ubaldo. Listen up, folks. We would have had to give up Jacob Turner, Brennan Boesch, and Rick Porcello/Max Scherzer for friggin' Ubaldo Jimenez. Guess who has a lower ERA than Saint Ubaldo? Doug Fister does. Suck on that, Indians. One good starter can't save you now!!!!

But for the most part, the Tigers fans/blogosphere had been fully supportive of The Trade, and anxious to see how our newbies would do.

So, in leading up to today's game, we were excited and nervous to see how Fister (tee hee! okay, got that out of the way) would perform. It's not like he had much to live up to, seeing as the Tigers haven't won in the 5th starting spot in a zillion years, but it was an important game to win so we could ride the momentum from Carlos "You Just Got Served" Guillen as much as possible.

We're going to be honest: when we first saw Doug take the mound, our reaction wasn't, "Wow, what pitching prowess he has!" It was more along the lines of "Looking gooooooood!"

Sorry. Girls will be girls. And we'll bet all our female readers agree with our reaction.

Needless to say, Doug Fister did not disappoint, in more ways than one. Without striking out or walking anyone, Dougie gave up only two earned runs and pitched through seven. Jose Valverde got his 30th save. Cleveland lost (again). Ubaldo can only save you every five days, suckas. All is well.

Well, for now. But for the time being, this trade looks GOLDEN.

Sunday, July 31, 2011


What an exciting two days it's been! We will talk about the veeerry interesting trade in due time. However, today's post will be focused on Class Act Jered Weaver and the rest of his team's actions in today's game.

First of all, this was hyped to be, and was, a thrilling game to watch. Weaver vs. Verlander, the top two competitors for the Cy Young Award battling tooth and claw on the mound. This game was supposed to exemplify everything that is fantastic about baseball. Two great teams in the pennant race going head-to-head, fighting, not only for the win, but to see whose pitcher was the most dominant.

Verlander, as per usual, was spectacular. Even more so than usual, no-hitting the Angels through 7.2 innings. Weaver's "stuff" was equally as impressive, making some incredible hitters look like little leaguers whiffing the baseball.  Though the pitchers both had amazing talent, this game didn't make us squeal with unabashed baseball ecstasy. Today, some of baseball's unwritten rules were violated, and though it made for an exciting game, it also made for an ugly one; it was not nearly the shining example of America's pastime we were hoping for. Today, we're not going to recap, but instead, we'll say who was really in the wrong, and who was justified. We are attempting to make sense of the overdramatic mess this game turned out to be!

Follow us after the jump!

Thursday, July 28, 2011

A Desperate Plea for Normalcy

Okay.  What is going on with the Tigers?  Why is it that whenever things start going well for us, things somehow fall apart?  This year, there have been a few magical periods of time when the team has had everything going for them.  Our pitchers' stuff was nasty.  Our hitters were not only hitting bombs to left-center, but also manufacturing clutch runs when we really needed them to.  However, whenever we start to play really well, either the pitchers stop pitching, or the hitters stop hitting, which is just what happened in yesterday's game and today's game.  We need to get dis ish on track.

Follow us after the break...

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Buzz on, BumbleBee

We have a new Obsession. He is young. He is talented. He is plucky. So obviously, upon seeing him for the first time we felt obliged to anoint him with his very own April in the D Nickname.

He is now Duane "Bumble" Below.

At first we just said "Bumble Below" just so we knew how to pronounce his name, but it stuck, and we like it, and it's cute, and he's cute, and his parents are cute (did you see them crying at his first game?!!? Precious!!!!!!) and his friends came to his game in Chicago, and we have fallen for him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Of course, this means that he will probably be traded soon, or sent down soon, because this seems to happen whenever we become too attached to a player. We should add that our Obsessions are not very rational; Bumblebee is neither the best nor the most attractive pitcher on this team, let alone the best player. But hell, we were Obsessed with Clete Thomas in 2009, for no reason besides the fact that he looked as startled as a fawn on ecstasy whenever he came up to bat.

But Below is a little different, because he actually has talent, and we do NOT blame him for the loss today against the evil, horrible, mean Chicago White Sox. Would it kill our above-average offense to give him a little more run support?!?!!?!?! No, we think not. We don't care that they were facing the White Sox's Ace. Eff that.

We kid, obviously. If there was a matchup that we expected to lose this series, it was Buehrle vs. Bumblebee. And it was sad to see that our newest rookie Chase Ruffin (what a friggin' awesome name) (and also, this kid has Personality. Our bullpen is now officially Very Weird) be the one to be thrown into a bases-loaded jam in his Major League debut. Whateva. We'll take the next two with Verlander and Scherz on the mound, and hopefully Cleveland won't get anymore of their stupid bullshit walk-off wins and we can regain some control over the AL Central.

But in the future, can we please get Duane Below the win? Before he gets traded/goes down/hits the DL? Please? He is too adorable to waste.

PS-have you seen him without a baseball cap on? He's balding. Well, whatever. He may not be as glorious as Kid Rick, but he's still adorable to us!!!!!!!