A Detroit Tigers Blog with a Feminine Touch

Sunday, May 29, 2011

A Commentary on Sports Feminism

I told everyone that I would do this (a Random Tigers Thoughts from Laura) post on Tuesday, but its been a pretty rotten week, and I am only just getting to this now. But after my night tonight, this post should be filled with the rage and passion it so desperately requires. This is no longer a Random Thought; instead, it has evolved into a full-fledged commentary on a very personal subject that is close to all three of our hearts.

The three of us were on our way to our first game of the season together at Comerica Park tonight (Saturday night). It was a gloomy day, cloudy and overcast with no hint of sunshine. If only we knew the shit that was going to come, we wouldn't have gone. But whatever.

First of all, when my sisters and I go to Tigers games, we don't like to look bad. In fact, since it is our disgustingly desperate lifelong dream to date a Tigers player (kidding. Not really. Yeah, we're kidding. Kind of.), we like to look nice. Not slutty, stupid, BumpIt-wearing bimbo-type "nice," but nice. So when people (men especially) act surprised and mock us when they realize we know what we're talking about when it comes to baseball, it pisses us off. And let it be said that this happened more than once today. Then of course, the skies opened up and the game was washed away. But while we waited for the Comerica powers-that-be to tell us that the game was called, we were thinking not of our future husbands, but of a woman. A very specific woman, known to all FSDetroit viewers.

That's right, FSD resident hot-chick-of-the-moment, "Lauren." For the past few months, both on this blog and in the privacy of our home, we have slighted, bashed and berated "Lauren" because of her sensual commercials and her, stripper-like exotic good looks. She is everything the modern-day feminist rejects and everything that the modern-day beer-swilling ex-fratboy embraces. She's beautiful, she wears tight shirts that show off her definitely real chest, and she adds a certain pizzaz to FSD commercials that apparently the actual athletes who play the games we are watching cannot. 

But, while at that sham of a game Saturday night, and being stared at and catcalled like we were pieces of meat, we began to empathize with our sister, "Lauren." I wonder why some men assume that women are unable to understand sports. Instead of bashing Lauren, who on her FSD profile says she loves the Pistons as well as the Tigers, we should accept her into our fold as a fellow sports-lovin' gal. Any woman who promotes a healthy interest in athletics should be celebrated, not persecuted. Go Lauren!


Fox Sports Detroit, you should be ashamed of yourself. How dare you subscribe to the easy-out male advertising pattern of objectifying good-looking women by using their bodies and seductive natures to sell beer, sports, real-estate, peanut butter, what have you. We can guarantee that close to half of your audience does not want to see a twenty-something chick purring into the camera between innings. What is this saying to young girls?! That all they're good for is using their bodies to promote men playing sports? Something which women's bodies has absolutely nothing to do with?!?!?! This is hardly a way to encourage and raise female participation in athletics. If more girls liked sports, then more girls would watch baseball, and your viewership would increase that way, dumbasses. 

Also, what does this say to the girls that know their sports? That FSD doesn't value their business? We watch FSD to watch our favorite sports teams: the Red Wings, the Pistons, and especially the Tigers. We don't watch it to see Lauren pose and smile mindlessly. 

Look. We don't want to give people the wrong impression. We like Fox Sports Detroit. We also enjoy taking pride in our appearances. But so do men. And you don't see FSD thrusting a shirtless Rick Porcello in front of the camera. While that would be a sweet sight, it has nothing to do with baseball (but hey, it has more so to do with baseball than Lauren does). While we state often on this blog about how cute or how hot a certain player might be, we don't go overboard. We don't really want to see random men being objectified same as we don't want to see women objectified. Women know sports. We should be treated as equals, not as eye candy.

So, though we may ramble and rant, we know we are not alone when it comes to our issues with FSD and its advertising choices. And as for Lauren? More power to ya, sister.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Bye Bye Scotty

Scott Sizemore has been traded to the Oakland A's triple A system. Ugh.
The trade was for David Purcey, a lefty reliever.  Although we're going to miss Scotty's adorable mug, we did need a new reliever.  Purcey will obviously need to earn his stripes, but it's possible this is a step in the right direction.

For more information go to the Motor City Bengals here.

At least this isn't as bad as when Polly left.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Random Tigers Thoughts From Laura Pt. 1

Hey everyone! I'm planning on doing 2 posts on two entirely different topics, one today and one tomorrow (hopefully). So here's Part One of randomness...

Is our team freaking weird or what? When it rains, it pours, apparently. And I guess the opposite is true as  well. Now that they boys are on a two-game winning streak, snapping our previous five-game losing streak, which in turn snapped our seven-game winning streak (etc.), should we expect four or five straight wins followed by five or six losses? What is the formula with this team?
In theory, we sound like a team with bipolar tendencies that has strengths and weaknesses across the board. In reality, we have one extremely good pitching staff, one freakin' terrible bullpen, and an offense that is truly a mystery.

Well, okay, maybe our bullpen isn't terrible anymore. With the joyous fortunate timely demise of Brad Thomas's arm, Charlie Furbush, only recently called up from Toledo, came into the game to kick some serious ass, rookie-style. It speaks to the levels of suck that our bullpen has reached this season that Charlie (I can't call him by just his last name) gave possibly the best relief appearance by anyone this season. This includes Papa Grande, who has been perfect in save situations, and pretty crappy outside of them (see Monday night's game for a prime example). Lets hope Thomas stays injured (or his green card expires; I'm not picky) and that Phil Coke is okay. Charlie is a pleasant surprise, and so adorable!

Speaking of pleasant surprises, Juh-honny Peralta has really shocked me so far this season. Second on the team in home runs and hitting almost .300? Damn. Who thought that Juh-honny of all people would be, at times, carrying our offense? It would be nice if Juh-honny, V-Mart, and Cabrera would all click at the same time. When they do, our team can't be beat. When they don't, we have zero offense, which is inexcusable. I was terrified we were going to lose Porcello's beautiful start on Sunday because a) we weren't really hitting, and b) our bullpen is crap. Maybe Lloyd McClendon could wake up from his interminable nap long enough to do his job and get our offense to hit consistently. Is that really so much ask?

So. If we can take these next two series at home against two very good teams, we should be back on track. So much work needs to be done. However, nothing warms my heart more than seeing two rookies propel our team to a win. Keep it up, kids.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Welcome to the Bigs, Andy!

It'd really be something if it was a girl!

When we heard that Andy Dirks was called up to replace the oft-injured Magglio, we couldn't help but smile. Dirks had a monster Spring Training, so huge that he almost beat out Casper Wells for the last roster spot. And yes, while he might appear to be another Generic White Outfielder, he actually could be a very reliable asset for our team.

First of all, Andy is 25, a "baby" as Jim Leyland affectionately called him, and has been a beast who can actually hit for power in triple A.  He had six home runs with the Mud Hens, and had a SLG of .527 in 145 plate appearances..  It wouldn't hurt to have another outfielder who can hit for power, especially since  he is replacing the battered and broken Magglio Ordonez, who has hit for basically nothing this year. As much as we love Maggs, it was time for him to go to the DL, and hopefully, Andy can amaze us, as Brennan did last year,  by hitting and fielding like a real big-leaguer.

Although he wasn't anything spectacular in his first game, it was great to watch him run around and giggle and smile and be generally adorable.  It's pretty fun to watch people play their first game in the bigs, and Andy was no exception, smiling and laughing whenever he caught a fly ball.  It must have been a real treat for his parents and girlfriend (sigh) since they were all at the park today, which is just the cutest most happy thing ever. He's a "country boy," which means that Ryan Raburn will finally have a friend! Not only that, but he had one of the four tigers hits of the day. It's nice to see that he got his first big league hit in his first big league game because now that he's gotten it out of the way, he can continue hitting in the games to come!

In terms of his future with the Tigers, we here at April in the D actually think he has one. Laura watched him belt a walk-off in Spring Training, so we know the kind of power he has. The only question is whether he can hit big league pitching, which remains to be seen. If he can, then we think he could most definitely contribute. Maybe he's not a Miguel Cabrera (okay, yeah, definitely he's not a Miguel Cabrera), but it is definitely within his potential to be a solid Ryan Raburn or Brennan Boesch in the outfield (with better fielding skills), and he could be more than that too. Then again, you can never tell with these rookies, and the three of us also are in love with Clete Thomas (a perennial minor-leaguer). All we know is, with Maggs hitting the way he was hitting, Andy has nowhere to go but up!

 Let's ignore the ugliness of our loss, and the supreme ugliness of Benoit's pitching, and just bask in the warm happy glow of a 25-year-old kid who just had his childhood dreams come true.  Also, we're actually not going to worry to much about this loss (even those blasted Indians won again, too bad they haven't played anyone legit yet) because of the ridiculous win streak we've been on. Hopefully we turn it around tomorrow and get some offense going!  Keep your eyes on Andy Dirks, because we actually see big things from him.

P.S. VOTE AVILA (and Verlander and Cabrera, obviously) FOR THE ALL-STAR GAME!

Friday, May 13, 2011

A Very Plausible Dream...

This post was supposed to be all about the stupid/funny things that Rod and Mario say on a daily basis. Their often silly banter is a constant source of delight for us. However, while we were taking notes, Rod said something so unexpected (and so true!) that this post had to be about it.

Rod said, "I'm not gonna say it too loud, but I'm gonna say it anyway. Avila is hitting like he wants to go to the All-Star Game."

Avila at the All-Star Game? At first this sounds ridiculous, but the more you think about it, the more realistic it seems.  Here are three things that you may not know about our precious little Avi, who, after he woke up from his beginning-of-the-season slump, has been hitting and catching like a real champ.

1.) Avi has the second most RBIs and the second most homers on our team, after (you guessed it) Miguel Cabrera.  This is an amazing feat considering the slow start he had to the season. Avila only had seven home runs last year. This year, he already has 6. His 23 RBIs are more than Austin Jackson's, Magglio Ordonez's and Scott Sizemore's combined.

2.) Avila leads all AL catchers in slugging percentage, RBIs, home runs, doubles, OPS, and is tied with three others for the most games played.  Although his average hasn't quite caught up yet, he is hitting like a beast, and if you look at the last few games we've played, he's been one of the few that has been carrying the tigers offensively. During the time when V-Mart was on the DL, we needed him to step up to the plate and play like a champion.  He did.

3.) In case you haven't noticed, Avila has caught some pretty awesome games this year (including the NO-HITTER). Despite some issues early on in the year, his defense has been pristine. And some of the games that he's called have been excellent. One thing that you can say for our pitching is that our starters (with the exception of some hiccups with Cokehead) have been pretty good. Obviously most of this has to do with the pitchers themselves, but let's not forget who has been giving the calls from behind the dish!

All this adds up to one pretty phenomenal catcher, and the realization that a certain amount of nepotism can be a good thing! Where'd he come from? We don't know, but we certainly hope that he's here to stay.  So, we beg you Detroit, cast your vote for Avila for starting catcher in the all-star game! It's early May, and much can still go amiss, but wouldn't it be lovely if he went? We haven't been this excited about a catcher since the days of good ol' Pudge.

In other news, we just wrapped up a fantastic road-trip, and the Royals are next on the hit list.  Now would be a perfect time to wrack up some more wins to put us in good standing in the central. Also, JV pitches the first game of the series. Anyone else feeling back-to-back no-hitters?

Blogger is Stupid.

DRAMA here at Blogger yesterday. Everyone with a Blogger account's latest post was deleted for some reason, so hopefully we will have the Avila article plus the new one up soon.
Sorry about that!

EDIT: The Avila post is up below. Enjoy!

Saturday, May 7, 2011

The Coolest Cat

Can you believe it? Can you believe he did it again?
Actually, we totally can.
Our boy Justin really must have wanted to remind people that he was the ace of the staff, because today he threw the best game of his life. A no-hitter, a near perfect game, 27 batters. And instead of pulling a Valverde and screaming and acting like a lunatic (like most normal people would do if they pitched a no-no) Justin just gives a half-smile and a badass fist pump while his teammates go bananas.
MLB, take note: Justin Verlander is too cool for a no-hitter. A no-hitter. 
As loyal as most Tigers fans are, we don't deserve this guy. No one does. He has bestowed upon our ball club not one but two no-hitters all while being as cool as they come.
My only hope is that he keeps pitching well and gets the one award that's eluded him: the Cy Young. Only the most elite pitchers can pitch two no-no's, and now that Justin is in that category, it's time he gets all the recognition he deserves.
There's not much more to be said; this wasn't like Galarraga's game last year, where spectacular defense and horrific calls overshadowed the actual pitching. JV achieved this feat on his own(with help from Avila, who we foolishly doubted--our bad). Even the most key defensive play was turned by him. This was Justin's game, and this should remind us to thank the Baseball God's that this superstar is on our team.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Sizemore is King; Casper is Crunk; Zoom Zoom is Cursed

Sorry we haven't posted in a little while, two out of the three of us had some finals to attend to, and the other had midterms! So with that pathetic little apology out of the way...


May we just say that we wanted him here from the start?  His numbers in  Toledo were stellar, and in his first start back up in the majors, he went three for four with a double, a run, and an RBI!  In the ongoing battle for second base, Scott is on top, and although he didn't hit well in tonight's game against the Yankees, (another win, people!) he is still hitting .500 for the season.  We girls at April in the D are willing to let the fact that Scotty has only played two games slide for the moment.  We're going to ride the I-told-you-so train as long as we possibly can. 

We're obviously glad to see that the six-foot stunner is back, but it breaks our hearts a little to see Will Rhymes gone.  Although he was hitting poorly, and his defense was nothing to get too excited about, it was impossible not to root for Will, and we wish him the best of luck in Toledo.  We predict that second base will be a revolving door position this year, so if Will plays well down in the minors, we're positive we'll see him back up in the majors before the season is over. Until then, au revoir notre petit monsieur!

Also, we'd like to add that Casper Wells may be the coolest/weirdest/funniest Tiger ever.  For those of you who tweet, or for those of you who have a twitter for the sole purpose of stalking the tigers (like us), please follow Casper (@UpstateBaller) because whatever he says never fails to amuse us. Take for instance, last night.  After our much, much, much needed win against the hated yankees last night, apparently, the Tigers were feeling "crunk" after the game.  It's hard for us to imagine some of the tigers getting "crunk," Brad Penny in particular. However, we all know that Jose Valverde has moves, and V-Mart must have some rhythm if he actually plays the accordion.  We also imagine that JV can do a pretty mean douggie. In the immortal words of Rod Allen, "We see you Justin!"

On a more serious note, we regret to inform you (although we're not particularly surprised) that, before you could even say "deja vu," Joel Zumaya is out for the season again.  It appears that he is undergoing season ending "exploratory elbow surgery," not to fix, but to discover what is actually wrong with his right arm.  What's worse, Joel is up for free agency this year, which means that if he doesn't end up pitching this year, he might be done pitching as a Tiger forever.  This is incredibly unfortunate news for everyone involved. For all you kiddies out there who never saw Joel Zumaya at his very best, he was a fearsome sight to behold.  We wish him the best in his recovery, even though it seems that wearing a Tigers uniform has cursed Joel to an interminable stay on the DL.  

Let's just try to forget that terrible, terrible losing streak and look forward to beating up on the Yankees again, shall we?