A Detroit Tigers Blog with a Feminine Touch

Thursday, November 15, 2012



So, it's been a while. Fifteen days, to be exact. We don't know about you guys, but the three of us needed to take a breather from baseball. There is still too much pain after that World Series From Hell, and we needed to to remove ourselves from that situation.

But, as per usual, the game we love sucks us back in, in none other than the form of a notorious, card-carrying Tiger Killer, Torii Hunter. When we first read about the Tigers showing interest in the slick-fielding outfielder, our interest was piqued, but we didn't pay too much attention to it. We knew other teams were interested in him, and we figured Torii would need to take some time to weigh his options.

We were so, so wrong.

Torii Hunter doesn't wait for you to contact him, HE goes out and contacts YOU. We have never heard of a player pitch himself so strongly and confidently to a team, let alone our own Tigers. Remember when Dombrowski & Co. had to beg people to play in the D? Those days are clearly long, long gone. Now we have All-Star Gold Glove winners banging on our door, demanding to be let on the American League Championship team.

Times, they have a'changed. To put it crudely, the Tigers are suddenly the hottest bitches on the block, and everyone wants a go. Best part is, everyones on the same page: Hunter wants a WS ring. So does Illitch. The time is now.

Do people even realize what has happened? We have gone from Delmon Young and Brennan Boesch to Victor Martinez and Torii Hunter. In what world does this happen? Yankee Land, maybe, but not in Detroit. This is absolutely crazy.

So we guess it's time to cross Mr. Hunter of our hate list and nestle him in our hearts, because he is now One Of Us. It only makes it that much sweeter that Torii wanted to play in the Old English D. What can we say? We're an appealing club.

We will address the issue of JV's Cy Young loss and Miggy's impending MVP decision (gulp!) soon. Right now, let us bask in the glow of another already successful offseason.

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

World Series Games 2, 3, & 4: An Abrupt End

It's over.

We can't even believe we're writing this right now, but it is what it is. A fantastic, exciting, thrilling end of the season has culminated in a stunning, abrupt 4-game sweep at the hands of the San Francisco Giants. We're still in shock. There wasn't even anything to really cry or be too upset about. It wasn't a slow, painful loss. It was so…sudden.

The three of us were at Game 4, and it was fun. Until we lost. But even then we knew: this was not our year. We're not sure what the Giants did to become so dominant so sudden, but we're pretty sure its going to involve them all owing a debt to Hades or something.

But we're done talking about the disappointment. Even though the ending was shitty as can be, this CANNOT take away from our amazing run in this crazy year.

Our boys, who a month and a half ago looked too inept to win the division, made it to baseball's biggest stage. They played in the last game of the season. They made it to a World Series. Plus, we witnessed the first Triple Crown in 45 years courtesy of Miguel Cabrera and another Cy Young-deserving performance from Justin Verlander. Prince Fielder returned in triumphant fashion to the D, and fit seamlessly into the clubhouse. And you know what?

It will only get better next year.

Yes, we have to wait a few (four) months until Spring Training. But it will be worth it. Victor Martinez himself is returning to us, making an already formidable offense downright terrifying. Hopefully Dave Dombrowski will figure out a way to get Anibal Sanchez to return to the Fab Four, making our pitching staff as good as we've ever seen in the D.

Plus, we've got some scary good upcoming talent. Avisail Garcia, anyone? Kid may still need some work, but he's going to be good. And don't even get us started on (future outfielder?) Nick Castellanos. Those two are major reasons to get pumped about upcoming seasons.

And finally, Leyland is coming back. While some may not like this idea, and while we're certainly not 100% behind everything he does, Leyland just managed this team to a World Fucking Series after underperforming all year. He deserves some credit for this amazing year. The 1-year contract extension is perfect.

While we're ALL going to need a few days (or weeks, or months) to recover from this tragic ending to our season, we need to all remember how far this team went and how much further they can go next year. That's the beautiful thing about this team--even in the darkest of times, the future is very bright. We can't wait to see what it brings.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

World Series Game 1: Wait…What?



That game did not turn out as expected. Like, really, really not as expected. Crazy shit was happening and we kept looking around the room like, "Is this a joke? Are we on Punk'd? What in the world is going on here?"

First off, Justin Brooks Verlander did not look anything like Justin Brooks Verlander. Sure, he gave up his standard first-inning home run (to one persistent Panda). Annoying, but not unexpected and not anything our boys couldn't bounce back from. And then the third inning happened and all hell broke loose. A ball that should have been easily fielded by Miggy hit the bag and errantly rolled into left field. This seemed to shake our sweet JV, as he subsequently gave up 3 more runs in the inning and 4 more overall, including an RBI single to Barry Zito.

'Tis true. BARRY ZITO. That was when we knew the laws of nature/physics/the Gods were not on our side this game. We especially knew it when Delmon Young grounded into the weirdest double play ever, when Gregor Blanco robbed us not once but twice on identical plays, and JV was out of the game by the fifth inning. Unreal.

We would like to know--what kind of voodoo witch magic did the Giants cast to get such improbable wins? Who or what did they sacrifice to which god? Did they sell their souls to the devil? We're not sure, but that game was such a shit show of Improbable Things You Never Thought Would Happen that we're wiling to believe anything at this point. It was almost funny!!!


You know what we need our Tigers to do now? Get pissed. Get angry. Get revenge. Justin Verlander has carried our team pitching-wise all year long. Now it's time for our team to come back in Game 2 and avenge him. We all know this team can bounce back from disappointment. The Giants and their Panda have had their fun. It's our team's turn now.

And for all you people giving up on our team already (we know you're there! We see you!!!): FOR SHAME. The sky is not falling, the world is not ending, and our team is nowhere close to being done. This was only a minor setback, and now it's time for our boys to step up on the world's biggest stage.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

A Message from The Tigers: Roaring Rampage of Revenge

Uma's only saying what Tigers fans are all thinking...

"Looked dead, didn't we? 

Well, we weren't. But it wasn't from lack of trying, we can tell you that. Actually, that umpire's missed call put our team in a slump--a slump we were to lie in for four months. When we snapped out of it, we went on what the ESPN announcers refer to as 'A Roaring Rampage of Revenge.' We roared, and we rampaged, and we got bloody satisfaction. 
We've beaten a hell of a lot of teams to get to this point, but we've only got one more. 

The last one. 

The one we're driving to right now. 

The only team left. 

And when we arrive at the World Series, we are gonna



1. Chicago White Sox

2. Oakland Athletics


4. San Francisco Giants

If you readers don't get what was just referenced above, watch Kill Bill. You won't regret it, and maybe you'll blame us less for doing something so cheesy. But goddammit, we're excited. Our boys clawed their way out of mediocrity and disappointment and are now in the World freaking Series. Tigers vs. Giants. Verlander vs. Zito. It all starts tonight.

The Tigers have red on their ledger, and they'd like to…wait, wrong movie. Whatever. To Game 1 we go!!!

Saturday, October 20, 2012

ALCS Games 3&4: Pitch Perfect

Do you hear that?

That is the sound of thousands and thousands of people jumping on the Detroit Tigers bandwagon. Why would they be doing that? Well…

Because the Detroit Tigers are going to the WORLD SERIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

With some of the best collective pitching we have ever seen, the Tigers swept (!!!) the Yankees (!!!!!) in the ALCS at home and are advancing to the Big Show. Sure, the national media may be focusing more on the Yankees losing than our boys winning, but it's all good. Because we Tigers Faithful know what our team has done this year. We know how far they have come. Hell, a month ago our boys were 3 games out of the AL Central lead with 15 left to play, and many fans were calling it a season. But our team believed. And we believed. And we got to witness an absolute blowout last night, highlighted by great pitching by Max Scherzer and Phil Coke and booming offense courtesy of four home runs.

Speaking of Phil Coke, how awesome is it to see him step up in such clutch situations? The last three games were closed by him, two of those being two-innings worth of work. When he spiked his glove (which he later referred to as a "she") for the final out, we lost it. Actually, we were losing it from the moment Prince Fielder caught that ball and our boys stormed the field.

We're going to the World Series. The Detroit Tigers are going to the World Series. It doesn't seem real. Sure, the three of us have supported the team all year and never gave up the faith and all that jazz, but we didn't know they could ever win the American League in such a dominant fashion. All year the team has been trying to find their groove, and they found it at just the right time. Cabrera won the Triple Crown. Our starting pitchers, all around the same time, started not just getting good, but getting really good. And our hitters, while not being the most bombastic offense ever, actually started to get clutch hits and rally. It all pieced together at the same time.

And while we're very happy/surprised for Delmon Young, the real MVP has to go to the Fab Four: Fister, Sanchez, Verlander, and Scherzer. Two runs given up? Total? In four games? Against the Yankees?!?!? Granted, whoever the Tigers face in the World Series is going to be a tougher offensively, but still. So. Freaking. Impressive.

We're so, so happy for our boys. We're so happy for Jim Leyland. We're happy for the organization, the fans, and especially the city of Detroit. And the best part?

We ain't done yet.

This isn't 2006 anymore. Our boys don't just want to make it to the World Series: they want it all. As exciting and emotional as this season has been, it can still get better. And we can't wait to see what happens next.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

ALCS Game 2: When Life Gives the Other Team Lemons...

…make some sweet, victorious, clutch lemonade.

Hear him ROAR!!!!!

Sure, the Yankees and their fans may bitch and moan about the obviously erroneous call at 2nd, where Omar Infante clearly did not beat a tag by Robinson Cano. And they should be mad. But they were already losing 1-0 due to a fantastic pitching performance by Anibal Sanchez (who just keeps getting better). And so of course the Tigers took advantage of the situation, plating two runs thanks to Miguel Cabrera and Avisail "Little Mig" Garcia.

Speaking of Avisail: what an asset he's been in this postseason! Can you imagine where we'd be if Brennan Boesch made the squad instead? Probably not up in this series 2-0. Maybe not even in the ALCS at all. Kid's gonna be a star one day, and this postseason sure has given him an opportunity to shine.

Also: we never expected to take two out of two games from New York to start off. Though Lord Jeter has regrettably gone down with an injury, the Yankees are still very good, and their hitting is bound to pick up some time. But now look: going into Detroit up two games to none with our two best pitchers on the mound. It's not over--definitely not--but you are fooling yourselves if you think we're not in great position right now.

How excited are you for Game 3 tonight??? Close to peeing your pants like us? Justin Verlander could be the death blow that the Yankees have been dreading. Our offense and shaky bullpen just need to come through tonight, and we should be fine. It's gonna be a fun night!

Sunday, October 14, 2012

ALCS Game 1: Never Say Die

What a game.

How do you even begin with this one? Where do we even start? The story lines in this postseason drama were all over the place. But we will say one thing for starters: we are proud of our boys. So. Goddamn. Proud.

Doug Fister pitched amazing. Terrifyingly, but amazing. Boy got out of not one, not two, but three bases loaded jams in the first six innings. To add more drama/fear in our hearts, he took a hard hit ball of his wrist in the third that looked like it had "Season Over" written all over it. But he is (or at least appears to be) fine. Someone else, however, really is not (more on that later).

After Dougie left in the 6th, our boys in innings 7-8.5 were excellent. Runs were scored with clutch hitting (oh, HEY, Delmon Young!), great defensive plays were made (Juh-honny! A-Jax!) and solid bullpen relief was thrown (Coke! Benoit!). Really, really good baseball put the good guys up 4-0. With Valverde coming in to pitch the 9th, we smiled to ourselves, satisfied. Even HE couldn't mess up twice in a row, right? Even HE could protect a 4-run lead!

Except he didn't.

Our stomachs sank as the Potato, whom we had so trusted in last year's postseason appearances, gave up a two run homer to Ichiro Suzuki. Our jaws dropped as Jim Leyland left Valverde in the game to face Mark Teixeira and Raul Ibanez, two people who have been known to hit a few home runs in their day. And then our hearts broke as Valverde walked Teixeira and subsequently gave up a game-tying home run to Ibanez.

We fumed. We raged. We were devastated. Twitter was in an uproar, with many declaring the game to be lost. Most were, at the very least, calling for the removal of Valverde as closer and speaking out against the horrible managerial choice that Jim Leyland made (and rightfully so). Not many were optimistic about a win.

No one told that to the other 24 Tigers on the playoff roster.

Sure, they looked hella frustrated. JV grimaced furiously, murder in his eyes. Miggy punched a water cooler (and AJax tried to right it). Fister seemed to be in stunned disbelief. But they rallied. They fought. And, through stellar pitching from Octavio Dotel and Drew Smyly and clutch hitting and poor defense from the Yankees, they won.

Talk about grit. Talk about guts. Talk about a team that wants this. If anything, this season has prepared our boys on how to take the tough blows that games can deal out and how to rally. If taking your lumps in the regular season equates to being graceful under pressure in the postseason, then the Tigers narrow win over the White Sox for the Central Crown was so, so worth it. That was one of the best wins of the season for many reasons, but mostly because they did it as a TEAM. One star alone rarely wins the game by himself.

Speaking of stars, the extended game, which initially gave so much joy to the Yankee fans, later caused them immense, horrible pain as the Captain himself went down with a broken ankle. As much as we like to jest and overdramatize here at April in the D, we didn't want to see Jeter go like this. We hope he has a speed recovery.

Winning Game 1 puts our boys in an awesome position. With Verlander pitching Game 3 at home, today's game looks pretty much like do-or-die for the Yankees. As much as we hate them (and as much as we loved Nick Swisher making an ass out of himself in the outfield last night. Hee hee!), we understand that they are a GOOD TEAM. Just because Jeter is gone does not mean they're going to roll over for us.

This series is off to a very dramatic start. It doesn't do wonders for our blood pressure, but this is what the playoffs are all about. Drama. Action. Romance Heartbreak. Victory. All have appeared in the series so far--and we've only seen one game!

Now buckle up kids…it's on to Game 2!!!

Friday, October 12, 2012

ALDS Roller Coaster: Games 3, 4, and 5

Well everyone, it wouldn't be the Tigers if it wasn't dramatic, right? At least our boys are consistent in making our hearts stop!  What matters now isn't that we lost two games in the middle, but that the Tigers are going to the ALCS to face the hated New York Yankees. Just saying that surprises us a little.  A few weeks ago, it didn't look to likely that we'd be here, but now that we're here, we look good.

So, let's talk about the games shall we?

Game 3: Athletics-2 Tigers-0
 This was kind of disheartening to watch.  No one wants to be shut out in the post-season, especially when it the series win was just dangling there for the taking like a carrot on a stick. It felt especially disheartening for us Tigers fans because we've only been shut out twice this season, which is the lowest shutout rate in the majors. There were a few positives about this game though, despite the fact that we lost.  Annabelle Anibal Sanchez looked really good out there.  He made a couple of mistakes that cost him early in the game, but the A's are a talented team, and holding them to two runs was a pretty impressive feat.  Prince Fielder came very close to scoring for us, but he got robbed by an impressive outfield play by Coco Crisp. Another promising sign was that Juh-honny Peralta got on base THRICE. Is this a sign that dormant Juh-honny is awakening? Probably not, but we hope so!

Game 4: Athletics-4 Tigers-3
Our reaction to game four was to reach for the nearest cyanide packet. To come so close to making it to the ALCS was particularly disheartening, especially considering the impressive efforts of Max Scherzer, Alex Avila, and Avisail Garcia.  We were winning 3-0 for Christ's sake! We had the sparkling wine out and ready!  But then it all went to hell when Valverde came on the mound. To be fair to Jim Leyland, there really wasn't another choice.  Valverde was 19-20 during regular season save opportunities, so who are you going to put on the mound during the division series in a save situation? Your closer?  Or Kid F**king Rick who's never pitched in a save situation in his life?  Phil Coke and Joaquin Benoit were available too, but we'd be calling for Leyland's head regardless of who pitched that terrible ninth and lost it for us.  We don't want to talk about it anymore.  It was a dark time for us all.

Game 5: Tigers-6 Athletics-0
This was one of the best games we as Tigers fans have ever had the pleasure to watch. Justin Verlander proved for the 120380523568th time why he is the ace of our pitching staff, pitching a complete game shut out with eleven (count 'em, eleven) strikeouts.  JV said after that it was the game he was most proud of as a pitcher, including his no-hitters, and we can see why.  Watching those A's swing and miss at his filthy pitches was absolutely joyful.  In the third game, our hitting failed us, and in the fourth game our pitching failed us, but Game 5 showed Tigers fans just exactly what can happen when all of the Tigers are on.  The A's were a great opponent, but when Justin Verlander pitches like that, nobody stands much of a chance.  Our hitting manufactured plenty of runs for Justin to play with, but in the end, all he needed was one.  Sorry to play the spoiler, A's, but the Tigers are heading to the ALCS!

So. Tomorrow the Tigers take on the Yankees at Yankee Stadium in what will likely be an epic rematch of last years dramatic ALDS.  The Yankees are definitely looking for blood, but for some reason, we're pretty happy here at April in the D that it's the Yankees and not the O's.  It'll make reaching the World Series that much sweeter.  Perhaps we do have the worst record out of any team that made the post-season, but at this point, the regular season is in the past.  What matters now is the tools we have, and the Tigers have threats in excess.  Doug, Max, Ani, and Justin each showed just what exactly they can do on the mound, and we have faith that the Tigers offense will come through when it counts.

TO THE ALCS WE GO! (Congrats to those of you who have tickets to the games.  Get loud and show everyone just what exactly the D is made of!)

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

ALDS Games 1&2: A Series of Fortunate Events

First things first: 2-0, BABY!!! TWO GAMES UP!!! ONE GAME FROM CLINCHING!!! EAT IT, OAKLAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, those silly Tigers! Giving us such bad breathing and heart problems that we almost pass out/die! Making those two games (especially Game 2, good GAWD) as close as close can be! Making us literally shriek in terror in public places and scream like we're being murdered but we're actually just watching a Don Kelly (!!!) walk-off sac fly! YOU SILLY, SILLY PEOPLE!!!!

Game 1 wasn't so terrifying. After Verlander gave up a leadoff home run, he was dominant, going seven innings and only allowing a handful of hits. The offense gave us just enough breathing room to comfortably get the win, and the Tigers won what might have been their most important game: one that Verlander pitched. Also, fun fact: Alex Avila's home run was the only RBI that was a hit. All of the Tigers other runs in the series so far have come from sacrifices, outs, or errors on Oakland's part.

Speaking of Oakland--they may be So Hot Right Now, but they were as sloppy as the Tigers were these past two games. Youth and energy works well for a race to the playoffs, but will Oakland do to us what they did to Texas and sweep? We don't think so. The energy in Oakland will be amazing, but we think our boys have enough experience and moxie to take the A's down.

We like that word. Moxie. We should use it more often.

Moxie is also not a word not often applied to Don Kelly (at least we don't think so) but he definitely had it in spades when he hit that amazing, breathtaking, majestic grand slam sac fly to help Detroit take Game 2.  And what a Game it was! After the fearsome pitchers duel that was Doug Fister and some Random Lefty The Tigers Should Have Taken Advantage Of But Didn't, the bullpens of both teams turned the game into an absolute vortex of a shit storm. 

Errors were made, wild pitches were thrown, and heart attacks were induced by both sides. When the dust settled, Al Albuquerque had kissed a baseball (truth) and Joaquin Benoit had given up two stolen bases, a wild pitch and a home run, but SOME HOW we were still tied at the bottom of the 9th.

And then Don Kelly happened.

Infante and Cabrera singled and Fielder walked to give our boys the bases loaded with one out and Don Kelly to the plate. Now, we could see what was going to happen. Good ol' DK was gonna ground into a Tigers-patented double play or strike out. He had never walked-off before. Who said he was gonna do it now?

Don Kelly said, that's who. He hit a soaring sac fly that left no doubt that the victory belonged to the Tigers, and our boys rushed the field in what could have been the most empowering and heartwarming moment of the season thus far. Us fans laughed, cried, and passed out from exhaustion/relief/joy. This just goes to show: in the playoffs, anyone can be a hero. And that day it was Don Kelly.

Ah, but really--bless those boys. Because now we're going into Oakland needing to only win one game. It's no secret: we would LOVE to just clobber those guys now and be done with it, but we're not naive. We know Oakland is going to try and give it everything they've got tonight. They have to. But then again, so will we. 

Let's end this tonight, boys. To battle we go  !

Thursday, October 4, 2012

A Crowning Season

We meant to do submit the first part of this post a few days ago, but since we're lazy slackers we're combining the AL Championship (!!!) post with Miguel Cabrera's Triple Crown(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) one. Enjoy!!

We Get by with a Little Help from Our Friends

First things first.


With all the hardships and underachieving, with all the naysayers, with all the bad luck and tough breaks--this one sure feels sweet. Perhaps we are not as confident in the Tigers' playoff chances this year, but this AL Central victory seems that much more rewarding because of all the crap we had to put up with all season long.

However good our starting pitching staff was these past eight games (pretty damn good), and however clutch certain members of our offense were (Prince Fielder in game 159, anyone?), this team could not have done all that they did alone. Major, major thanks goes out to the Angels, the Indians, the Royals, and the Rays for giving that White Sox team such a hard time.

Mostly, though we need to thank the White Sox themselves. They did this to themselves. With the division practically in their hands after our boys lost to them in Chicago, all they had to do was basically play .500 ball. They did not do that. Winning 3 of their last 13 games is not the way to wrap up a division title, and the Tigers made sure they paid.

We know we're going to play on Saturday at home against the A's, who basically, by the way, did to the Rangers what the Twins did to us back in 2006. Mad props. Yes, they're so hot right now, but we believe our boys can take them--especially with Verlander and Fister guaranteed to start two games at home. Of course, anything can happen. But as per usual, we are staying positive.

Our boys definitely took the road less traveled on their way to a championship, but that's cool. In the end it all paid off--and the future looks even more promising.

Royally Awesome

Two division champions were decided last night, as well as who would be playing in the Wild Card games. But what else was decided last night, you ask? Hmmm…. did it have some thing to do with this?

That's right. He did it. And we still can't believe it happened.

If you had asked us even yesterday afternoon what we would have preferred, a Triple Crown winner or a postseason bid, we would have said postseason. But now we're not so sure. After the emotional and amazing scene we witnessed last night, Miguel Cabrera finally getting some major recognition for a feat that hadn't been seen in 45 years was the highlight of the season. Triple. Freaking. Crown.

Jim Leyland played it beautifully, by the way. Letting Miggy receive a standing O from the crowd (thanks Kansas City!!!) and have his moment in history was amazing to see and brought tears to our eyes. For someone so humble and so non-attention-seeking, Miguel Cabrera now has his moment.

We're not sure if we can even process this fully. In all seriousness, Mike Trout has had an amazing, amazing season and is a great player/person, but Miguel Cabrera has made history. In our minds, he cannot be denied. 

From the bottom of our hearts, we want to thank Miguel Cabrera for bringing this amazing moment to us, to the Tigers organization, to Detroit, and to the baseball world. But mostly, to himself. He's earned all the praise that's going his way.

The playoffs start in two days at home. What with the Triple Crown and the Tiger's recent surge, the atmosphere is going to be bananas. We can hardly wait.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Race to Eight


This is it.

The Tigers are finally, finally tied with the White Sox for the division lead. After missed opportunities and frustrating near-wins, it's Time. There is no point in saying "If only…." anymore. Our boys must win more games in eight attempts than the White Sox, and there's nothing else to it.

Of course, it is reassuring to point out that if, God forbid, we are tied at the end of the season, Game 163 will be played in Detroit. Fabulous. The Tigers have been merciless to the White Sox at home, and what's more, Verlander would be pitching that game. While tying definitely would not be ideal (we really don't want heart problems this early in our lives) it would be better than, say, losing to Youkilis & Co.

Anibal Sanchez was brilliant last night. Justin Verlander was great the day before. The offense needs to pick up the pace. Last night's game could have been a blowout, but we only won 2-0. There has to be more run support if we are to win against freaking Kansas City and Minnesota. Those teams are pretty bad, but a mere one or two runs isn't gonna cut it.

We don't think it needs to be said that we're all nervous. We're nervous about what the White Sox are going to do. We're nervous about how we're going to play. We're even nervous to see how Miguel Cabrera will do in his Triple Crown race. But we have believed in this team since day one, and no matter how frustrating or emotionally draining this season has been, we're right in the thick of it. Our boys can still get where we've expected them to be since they signed Prince Fielder--the Playoffs.

The boys are in control of their own destiny now. Win, and they have a good chance to make it to where we all want them to be.

Eight games.

Can they do it?

Sunday, September 23, 2012

On the Prowl

Dear gawd, the last few days have been stressful. We have to keep reminding ourselves to breathe. At least with that rain out last night we had some time to relax, but now we find ourselves more anxious/nervous/excited than ever.

First of all, mad, mad props to the Royals and the Angels for taking care of the White Sox for us. Man, when our boys lost on Thursday and we thought we were going to be set back 3 games, we were not happy. Luckily, Kansas City came through in the end and the Angels soundly defeated Chicago two nights in a row. Coupled with the Tigers' sound beating of the Twins today, this puts our boys at .5 games back. With two more games at home and three away against Minnesota, our boys can hopefully do some damage and gain even more ground on those nasty Sox.

But we're going to put the playoff race aside for a second (seriously) and focus on the one guy on this team who has been kicking ass and taking names and doing everything (and more) that was expected from him since day one. You know him, you love him, and you're all rooting for him to win the MVP this year. That man is

Miguel Cabrera (a.k.a. Miggy Poco)

Miggy has done some amazing work in his career with the Tigers, but nothing quite like this. Not only is he (along with Mike Trout, but whatevs) the frontrunner for the American League MVP, but he also has a chance--an actual, real, this-is-really-possible chance--to win the first Triple Crown since 1967. He's leading in average and RBI and is tied with Josh Hamilton for the lead in home runs. In fact, he is leading the MAJORS in RBI and homers, and unless you count Melky Cabrera (which we're not) Miggy only trails Andrew McCutchen by .004 in average.

That is some serious skill. Considering that Cabrera was trailing in both average and (more considerably) homers as recently as last week makes this amazing playoff/triple crown push even more impressive. If he keeps anywhere near on the same pace for the next twelve games, we see no reason why he shouldn't win the MVP. Especially if the Tigers put their big boy pants on and play like we know they can.

Speaking of playoffs--by the end of the day, our boys could be in first place. Seeing how devastating Monday was for all of us, and how bleak our playoff chances looked, this is huge. Seven games against perennial spoiler Kansas City looks a little daunting, but mixed with five more against Minnesota we should be able to get a fair amount of wins. Plus, the White Sox still have to finish their series against the Angels and then take on the Indians and four games against the playoff-caliber Rays. Our boys definitely have the easier schedule. The question is, can they--and especially Miggy--take advantage of it?

It really is now or never, for not only the playoffs but also for a very exciting Triple Crown push by Miguel Cabrera. Watch out, White Sox, and watch out Carl Yastrzemski. Miguel Cabrera and the Tigers are coming for you.

Monday, September 17, 2012

Getting Nervous?

What the f****** f*** was the last two days?

Before yesterday and today's games went down, our boys were enjoying a nice, easy breezy 4-game win streak courtesy of the Chi Sox and the Indians. Then we blow a lead in the 9th yesterday (thanks, Papa Grande!) to watch those hapless racist idiots walk off against us. Always fun. Next, we watch a potentially season-determining make-up game against the White Sox go up in smoke thanks to poor managing, shitty defense (ITS A DOUBLE PLAY NOT ROCKET SCIENCE), shaky starting pitching and non-clutch hitting.

Not exactly how you want to play a game that might decide the fate of the 2012 season.

We guess there's no point in really talking about how startlingly disappointing that game was. Yes, we have over two weeks left, but our boys just looked bad out there today, with the only bright spot courtesy of Miguel Cabrera's mini-me, Avisail Garcia. He was exciting! But not much else was.

Can we just talk for a moment about Miguel Cabrera? And how sorry we feel for him that he's stuck with these idiots? And how if he doesn't win the MVP, and the snot-nosed kid out in Los Angeles does, we're probably going to riot? It sickens us how overlooked this guy is. Leading the AL in RBI and average and fourth in homers. What is Trout leading in? Runs. And Stollen Bases, but whatever. Excuse me, but no one currrs about runs, and stolen bases is nice, but it doesn't win games. This kid is definitely winning Rookie of the Year, but no way, no way should he win the MVP over Cabrera, especially if we make the playoffs. The only way we can see Trout winning is if he sparks the Angels to a wild card spot, AND the Tigers don't make the playoffs. Thats. The. Only. Way.

Miguel Cabrera has been too good for too long to not get this award. He's played injured. At times he's carried our entire team offensively. And he still has a legit chance for a TRIPLE CROWN. Miggy is not going to be and should not be denied this time around, folks, no matter how sexy voting for a rookie may be. If we DO make the playoffs, it will be in large part because of him. He is seriously the silver lining to these shitty couple of days  months.

And that brings us back to the topic of the playoffs. Oh my god, we are so nervous. We are so DEVASTATED. We promised ourselves we wouldn't get as emotionally in invested this year, but we failed. We wouldn't be true Tiger fans if we didn't put our entire heart and soul into willing our boys to win the pennant! However, PTSD of Game 163 still flashes in our minds. We're not sure if our psyches can handle another close finish with us on the losing end, and we bet many of you would agree.

It looks like we'll have pretty evenly matched schedules, what with six games against Minnesota remaining for us and six games against the Indians for them. Unfortunately, Oakland and the spoilerific Kansas City Royals will NOT be a cakewalk. And with a mere 16 games left, there's no time to mess around (you hear us, Valverde? You too, Infante. And Christ alive, get Brennan Boesch off the field!). Shit is now REAL.

Buckle up, kids. It's going to be a bumpy (and frightening. And stressful. And maybe, maybe amazing) 2 weeks. We hope you're ready!

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Ain't Nobody Got Time For This

We're sure some people get a huge kick out of a superclose playoff race. The idea of the Tigers coming from behind in the last weeks--no, days--of the season probably gets some people going. Okay. We respect that. Pennant races are an exciting thing, especially when it's do-or-die for a playoff spot! So to you thrill-seekers, risk-takers, horror-movie lovers: this playoff season is for you!!!

However, to the vast majority of us, our thoughts can only be summed up thusly:

That's right, Sweet Brown. Ain't NOBODY got time for the shit that the Tigers are pulling. After a disappointing series against the god-awful Indians, Jim Leyland & Co. decide to play twisted games with our hearts and minds by being SWEPT by the Boy Wonder and his team out in La La Land. We just have to say something really quick about the Angels--shouldn't they be a lot better than they are playing right now? I mean, holy crow, look at that lineup! Look at that rotation! The should at least be in 2nd place in the West! But we digress. It is the Tigers (many) problems and errors we should be worried about, not some other team.

I mean, what the hell was that out in LA? An unmitigated disaster, for sure, but can we please just look at the state of our offense? Pathetic. And the state of Justin Verlander? I mean, we know he is but one man, and a mortal man at that, but holy crap this is not the time for our ace to choke. It is also not the time for our offense to let down our other starters (Sanchez, Scherzer) when they throw a good game.

(Luckily, Kansas City is playing their troll role to perfection once more and took 2 out of 3 from the Sox. Beautifully done! Of course, we wouldn't mind if they played like poo against our boys.)

And then of course we get to Chicago. After we were humiliated in game one, the three of us were about to shoot off an R-rated, rage-fueled post that would make our few readers remaining to us run screaming. However, lack of time due to school-work-anger delayed this post one day, and we're happy it did. Mister Fister pitched splendidly and the offense-gasp!-actually came through in the clutch.

So now here we are, back in the usual spot of two-games-back-with-two-to-play against the White Sox. Our best (we think) two pitchers are on the mound, and hopefully our offense can get inspired enough to back them up. HOPEFULLY our team can do this for us, so we can continue this heart-attack of a season with slightly better footing. 

But seriously, Tigers: no one wants to watch this up-and-down bullcrap anymore. Just win the games you should be winning. For our sakes, and for yours.

Friday, September 7, 2012

Road Warriors

That last home stand was key for our boys. Key. They HAD to win the series against the White Sox, and they did one better--they swept it. Unfortunately, they then went on to miss opportunities left and right and lose 2 out of 3 game to those troll Indians. A 4-2 home stand isn't bad at all, but it is disappointing to see our hitters struggle against one of the MLB's worst teams.

Whatever. Shake it off. 4-2 is still good! A game behind is so manageable! Plus, there are more important things to think about, since clearly our boys want to make September as interesting as possible. We have what can only be described as a difficult road ahead of us for the next ten games. We're not even talking about the players at this point, we're talking about the fans. Staying up to watch a game that ends at 1 is not our cup of tea, but dammit, we'll do it. We'll do it for our team.

The Tigers themselves have an interesting road, too. The Angels and then the Indians again? Talk about a tough six games. Sure, Indians suck, but they have given our boys fits over the course of the season. Plus there is no home-field advantage this time. And the Angels? Any Tigers vs. Angels game is fun to watch post-Guillen, but what we're really interested in is Mike Trout vs. Miguel Cabrera. To us, there is no contest on who should get the MVP, especially if the Tigs make the postseason and the Halos don't, but we guess only time will tell.

And then of course come our good buddies, the White Sox. Obviously we do better at home against them than on the road, but wouldn't it be fantastic if we could at least go 3-1 and move into first place for good? Of course, we first would have to not get beaten soundly by our opponents on the West Coast.

This is without a doubt our hardest road series left, and maybe our most important too. If we lose all three series, I doubt our boys will be able to climb out of that hole. But if we win…well, that would not only put us in a good position to win the pennant, but would also foreshadow a team who could make a significant playoff run.

One last note to the fans: the world is not going to end, the season is not going to shatter if our boys get a few losses. We still have a lot of baseball left. Deep breaths, people. We can do this together.

EDIT: Our dumb butts mixed up the Indians series with the A' series (which will be at Comerica). Look what these Tigers are doing to us!

Friday, August 31, 2012

You Drive Me Crazy: A Rant

Are you F***ING kidding us?

What was that series? No, really, what was it? Our offense shows up for one night, and not only do we lose by one run, it's the one night that Verlander pitches like a middle schooler? The next two nights our team loses AGAIN by one run (!) after Anibal Sanchez and Rick Porcello give up 1 and 2 runs, respectively(!!!)???

Kansas City has definitely played the roll of spoiler before. Why should now be any different? We'll tell you why. Because our team is BETTER THAN THIS. They do not suck. They can still win it. But that was the worst series of the year, by far BAR NONE. Offense, get yo shit together. We have Prince Fielder and Miguel Cabrera (albeit injured) on the SAME TEAM. COME ON. Justin Verlander: hello?!? Is precious Kate Upton distracting you or are you just being severely un-clutch? This is the playoff push, guys. This is where we go hard or go home.

Please be advised: we are not panicking. We can still do this. Please--we have seven games head-to-head against the White Sox. Anything can happen. Props to them, by the way, for TRYING to at least let us get within a game of them. It seems like our last open plea worked! Unfortunately, our boys didn't listen. And that is the heart of this post. Pure, unbridled frustration. Seeing all this potential and skill and AWESOMENESS all on one team go to waste with bullshit games like that. If we want to make it to the playoffs, we are going to have to collect our shit, take the series from the White Sox this weekend, and play like we know we can play.

But really. The goddamn Royals? Swept?? Is this real life???

If the Tigers are anywhere near as pissed and mad and fired up as we are right now (we guarantee that they are) then they need to take out all that rage on those idiots from Chicago. With Fister, Scherzer, and Verlander taking the mound, we can smell a series win. If our boys play like we know they can.

Monday, August 27, 2012

An Open Letter to the Chicago White Sox

Dear Chicago White Sox Players, Coaches, and Staff,

Hello there! We know you don't know us, and we don't know you, but we certainly know of you. How are you guys? Enjoying first place? It must be nice at the top with a somewhat-cozy 2.5 game lead over the Detroit Tigers. Yeah, if you couldn't tell by now, we'r pretty big Tigers fans. And we actually have a favor to ask of you guys. A proposition, if you will.

Please. Stop. Winning. It's not fair and it doesn't make sense. Seriously, just look at you guys on paper! Let us tell you something that we're not sure you're completely aware of: you're playing way better than anyone ever expected. Call us naive, call us stupid, but we think we weren't the only ones that predicted you White Sox to be a big pile of dog crap this year. 

Even after you guys had a pretty great first half, the three of us thought that it wasn't going to get much better than that. Just like the Cleveland Indians of last year, your team was supposed to fade as our Tigers came roaring into the lead, a lead which they would never relinquish. Except things didn't go quite as planned. Our boys emerged from their first half woes to become somewhat respectable. That was all we thought we needed, right? Wrong. Your team hasn't done the whole showing-your-true-colors-and-fading-into-the-background. Oh, no. You are just as pesky as ever.

The Tigers are doing (mostly) everything they can. Shoddy defense and sporadic hitting aside, Miggy Poco & Co. have been doing their level best to take names and win (most) series. Admittedly, they could be playing better. They actually could be dominating right about now. But whatever! That's not the point. YOU, Chicago White Sox organization, need to work a little harder at losing. We don't like this whole "five game win streak" thing. Cut it out.

Even if you fools do something stupid like win tonight and put yourselves 3 games up on our boys, it won't matter in the end. Because STILL, after ALL THIS TIME we are confident that our Tigs will take the Central. Even it if it means a dramatic end-of-season finish. Sure, we'll need our defibrillators at the ready, but whatever. The Tigers have traveled this cardiac-inducing road recently (2009, anyone?) and learned from our mistakes (Game 163, anyone?). They'll be ready for you, not only in head-to-head combat but also the gradual grinding out wins over the next month. THEY'RE COMING FOR YOU, CHICAGO.

In the mean time, please, please, please do us a favor, and roll over and die. Really. We'd appreciate it. Stick to trying to get the Wild Card, or something. Because this division title? Yeah. It's staying in Detroit.

You Have Been Warned.


April in the D

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

It's Go Time

We're not so big on finality here. Now or never? Not really our thing. It's never over until it really actually is over in our minds.

So when people say that the Tigers need to make the playoff push NOW, we technically should just roll our eyes and scoff. But these Debbie Downers are actually right. The Tigers have been basically playing it safe and just kind of "hanging in there" instead of really pushing forward like last year and seizing the AL Central. To be blunt, it's time for our boys to stop dicking around and start winning consistently. It's GO TIME.

Looking at our remaining schedule, it is apparent that with all of our games against the Indians, Twins, and Royals, there should be a lot of series wins over the next month and a half. Besides two series against the Angels and one against the Athletics (featuring the return of Brandon Inge) it looks like our boys should have a fairly easy schedule. Emphasis on 'should.' Oh, and of course we have seven games  against the White Sox, three of which are at home. Bring. It. Awn.

It's never exactly heartening to see our boys lose 2 of 3 to the Orioles. At home. Not the best time for a Doug Fister pitching meltdown, either. Even though this is no time to panic, there still needs to be a sense of urgency around our team. We have faith that out resident MVP of the world, Miguel Cabrera, and his resident sidekick Prince Fielder will help save the day in any way they can.

Our boys are ready. They had an off day. They're well-rested. They can handle the Blue Jays, and all the other teams they face. It's our jobs as fans to root them on to overcome this 2-game deficit and overtake the White Sox. It's go time.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Tigers Giveth, Tigers Taketh Away

What gives???

Seriously, though. What the hell is up, guys? First our boys give us a beautiful, merciless sweep against the hated Tribe that included not only the best game of the year but one of the best games we've ever seen. Then, we take two straight from the Yankees and seem to be on a mini-roll. That is, until we lose two-straight (one in heartbreaking fashion) and lose 2 out of 3 against Texas, including a game in which Verlander pitched magnificently. Finally, and most annoyingly of all, our boys lost last night in a 9-3 debacle against the freaking Minnesota Twins, falling two games behind the White Sox. Christ.

And then.

And then, of course, we have two very good games against a pretty shitty team. Fister and Scherzer looked like the #2 and #3 pitchers that they are, and the offense (especially RBI leader Miguel Cabrera) was poppin' off. And yet, we're still 2 games back from the White Sox. 2 freakin' games.

We know we've been pretty positive in terms of our team this year. And by George, we know this group of idiots can get it together and still win this division. But everyone, fan and player alike, can admit that this season has been frustrating. As soon as we get it together--BLAM! It falls to pieces just as we're about to overtake that icky team from Chicago. Would it kill our boys to strive for a little consistency?

We as fans must be patient and vigilant. Our boys have crawled back from the abyss and are now waiting to overtake the top spot. Perhaps they're just saving their best for the playoffs? That would be interesting, but first we would have to make it there.

In conclusion--sorry we haven't been around much. Work/school consume us! But we will post much more, especially as the regular season winds down. WE. PROMISE.

Monday, August 6, 2012

Sweep That Dirt Off Yo Shoulder

Wow. Wow. WOW.

There is not much to say that hasn't already been said about yesterday's game. At the very least, it was the best game of the year for our boys. At the very most, it was one of the best comeback wins in the MLB for the entire season and the catalyst that will give the team the final push they need to surge ahead in the division for good.

Can we just talk for a second about the Indians? Sure, they were on a downward spiral anyways, they're no where near as good as the White Sox, and we'd already won the series. Whatever. That win was not only an amazing, 2-out comeback against a good closer, but the Tigers also basically slammed the door shut on the Tribe's playoff hopes in demoralizing, heart-breaking fashion.

Not surprisingly, this ridiculous win reminds us of a game the Tigers won last year, albeit a little differently: our boys came back from seven runs down to hit a walk-off (courtesy of Miguel Cabrera) against the White Sox. Our boys later went on to clobber them the next day and eventually sweep the team basically out of playoff contention. Sound familiar at all? Sure, we still have to deal with the Sox, but we can--and will!--get to them.

This win, and subsequent sweep, was also glorious redemption for the way the Tigers have been playing as of late. Series losses against Toronto and Boston aren't exactly encouraging signs, but the Tigers are playing magnificently at home, which bodes well for the four-gamer against New York.

Now it's time to just geek out over that win--and can we just talk about all the friendship/camaraderie/LOVE that was on display???

First--Miguel Cabrera. Unbelievable. He's not even at full health and he's hitting walk-offs like it's just another day. Well, for him we guess it is just another day. And of course, being the super awesome Super Teammate Miggy Poco that he is, he tries to give Austin Jackson all the credit and make it not about himself. Yes, Miggy, we know that Austin and Omar Infante started the rally and went 4-6 and was incredible, but YOU, good sir, finished that game for us. So clutch. And who could not have cracked a smile over the Best Bromance Ever that was on display immediately after the walk-off? We're talking, of course, about Miggy + Prince Fo Eva. So adorable. So much win!

This team is set to make a run for AL Central Champion. If we keep playing like this, no one is going to stop us.

Saturday, July 28, 2012

Back on Track. Ish.

Ok, ok. We know we haven't written anything in a while, and we're sorry, but we have our reasons. One was that we were on a (much needed) vacation in Michigan, of all places. And what did we do during that restful week?

Well, we went to Tigers games. Two very good ones, in which we watched Justin Verlander and Rick Porcello completely handle the Chicago White Sox. This was after a 3 of 4 game winning series against the Angels, and obviously our boys went on to sweep the dreaded Sox and reclaim 1st place. The Tigers looked absolutely unstoppable.

But not for long.

Then we went to Cleveland. Ah, Cleveland, the place and the team that have given the Tigers so much trouble. Can we just ask: why??? Cleveland has fallen back to earth after a surprisingly decent first half to the season, but yet our boys still struggle. Only taking 1 of 3 from the Tribe is not acceptable, especially since the games we lost were both in our grasp (we basically had it won in Verlander's case on Thursday). And then of course we also struggled against Toronto on Friday, dropping the first game there.

So what's up? Obviously it would be hard to expect our team, as good as they are, to sweep every series. And we still expect them to win the division--being 1.5 games behind Chicago isn't insurmountable at all. But we are expecting more, and we rightfully should. We have been given a taste of what these guys are capable of, and now we expect--and deserve--nothing less than their best.

So while our boys are almost back to the glory that we were promised, they still have a little ways to go yet. And that's ok--we'll wait around for them. And to all you bandwagon phony fans out there, who are suddenly diehard just because our boys are winning now? We know who you are. And all you naysayers who are still out there? Just watch. This division WILL be ours. There are still just a few more kinks our boys need to work out.

Monday, July 16, 2012

Group Effort

What an interesting series in Baltimore! Blowout wins, Good-Starting-Pitching-And-Timely-Hitting wins, and the dreaded Almost win. We took 2 of 3 from Baltimore (should have been 3 of 3, but whatever) and we looked damn good doing it too.

Let's talk about Doug Fister for a moment. Poor, sweet Dougie, who's been shaky due to injury all year long, is going to get his swagger back in the second half. We just know it. He looked sharp and in command on Friday, buoyed by ample run support (hell-o, Miguel Cabrera Moonshot!) and dazzling defensive plays (suck it, Berry Haters!). Friday was good.

Then comes Saturday. After a not-so-sharp outing by Max Scherzer (but good enough to keep us in the game) the Tigers mounted an out-of-nowhere comeback to tie the Orioles in the bottom of the 9th. However, after blowing the save TWICE (thanks Valverde and Benoit!), we didn't escape with the win, which meant we came back only to extend the game two hours and lose anyway. Well, you know what we have to say to that? WHAT. EVER. Our boys showed more fight in that game then they had in the majority of games in the first half of the season. While we were frustrated with the outcome for sure, it wasn't a bad loss in the slightest.

And then Sunday, we rebounded. Justin "The Second Coming" Verlander shook off those awful, nasty Kate Upton rumors (not like he needed to shake them off, really--the whole thing is just bullshit) and threw 8 innings of 3-hit ball. Yes, two of those hits came from his arch-nemesis, Jim Thome, but it was a beautiful outing all the same. Clutch homers from Austin Jackson and Miggy (yep, that's number 20, folks) and some nice manufactured runs helped solidify the W, and our boys cruised home three games above .500.

And now we will be tested. The good-maybe-even-very-good Angels are coming into town tomorrow, and while we won't be facing Jered Weaver this time around, no one has forgotten last year. And of course after that we play the division leading Chicago White Sox, our hated rivals. It's going to be an exciting (if stressful) week of baseball. Bring on the drama!

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Hey Now, You're An All Star

Well, that All Star game was…interesting, to say the least. Prince Fielder kicked ass and took names at the Home Run Derby. After a shaky first round in which we weren't sure he'd even make it through, he went on to blast 11 homers in the second round and 12 in the final, beating Jose Bautista and winning all. Plus, how cute was it to see his AH-dorable little sons running into his arms for a Fielder Family Group Hug at the end? Absolutely precious. As for Miguel Cabrera, he didn't do too much--although we did get our first look at his super cute son too! What is it with this team and adorable kids?!?!?

And then we get to our third All Star, Justin Verlander. Justin, Justin, Justin. Where do we even begin with you? First of all, we think his excuse for his performance in the All Star Game--where he was shelled for four hits, two walks, and six runs--was a mostly good one. He didn't want to go into Emo-Serial-Killer Mode before this mostly "fun" event, and this makes sense to us. Let the man enjoy the game. However, he should have known not to get overly excited and light up the radar at 101 so early in the game. He should know that this rarely works in his favor when he is properly mentally prepared. Silly Verlander!

And that's all that's in the news about Justin Verlander this week that pertains to baseball, right? There's nothing else of note to comment on. Now, moving on…

…Oh, wait. We're missing something here. Ohhhhh. You wanted us to say something about the Verlander/Kate Upton rumors that have been a-swirlin'? Well, first of all, we don't think there's anything to this. At all. We think they're just friends. Not like it matters at all, but we think it'd be pretty fucking sleazy to ditch your high school sweetheart for some 19-year-old swimsuit model. That's just our opinion. Not that it has any relevance to baseball. At all. So we'll just stop there!

If he IS dating her, though, we'll just go ahead and blame every bad pitch he ever throws ever again on her. Kay? Kay.

Moving on. This upcoming series starting tomorrow against Baltimore may not seem like a huge deal, but it is. As many have pointed out, we are only a game off our pace from last season (44-42 this year as compared to 45-41 last year). We all know how that turned out. If we can win or tie the next two series against Baltimore and Los Angeles, then we are in prime position to get close to or overtake Chicago when we play them next weekend. It's time for our boys to make their move.

…And speaking of, all THREE of us will be at two games that series! We will be at the park on July 20th & 21st, so if you see us there, tweet us or be sure to say hi!

Monday, July 9, 2012

That's More Like It

It's about damn time.

This past week has really seen our boys go from the middle-of-the-road level of play they have been exhibiting all year to the kind of play of which we know they're all capable.

Five straight wins, including for games in a row with homers from Delmon Young, a man who has freaking struggled this year. He has, in fact, struggled so hard that he was named Jayson Stark's Least Valuable Player of the first half. Yikes. Although now we can totally imagine Delmon seeing what Stark wrote and getting the wake-up call he so desperately needed, and thank goodness for that. If Delmon can continue his hot hitting after the All Star break, then Tigers fans are in for a treat!

Speaking of All-Stars, a belated congrats to Prince Fielder, Miguel Cabrera, and the American League starting pitcher, Justin "God" Verlander! All three of these fine players were justly and unsurprisingly elected to the team, and while we believe all three should be starting, two out of three ain't bad. Prince is also competing in his fourth Home Run Derby tonight, and we will of course be watching and rooting for our boy. Go Prince go (and puh-lease let your cute little sons be there to root you on)!!!!

Though we are very proud of these three, we do think that our boy Austin Jackson was snubbed. He has been, in our minds, the most valuable player of the first have for the Tigers, and had he not been injured for a few weeks, he might not have been denied. At least Ron Washington could have given him the courtesy of being on the Final Vote roster, but whatever. Ajax hasn't let it get him down, so we're just gonna let it slide.

We're more excited to see what comes after the break, though. We finished on such an unexpected high note, and now it seems like this team is finally rolling. But they're are obviously a lot of questions that need to be answered if our team is going to win anything.

Will Ryan Raburn continue his campaign of suck? Will Doug Fister overcome his injuries/shakiness to have a good second half like last year? Will Max Scherzer continue his always-solid/sometimes-great year? Will Quintin Berry slow down after his hot rookie campaign? Will Brennan Boesch get his shit together actually pick up his sluggish pace, or will the return of Andy Dirks doom him to Triple A?

All valid questions, we think. But this is an exciting time. Our boys are at a crossroads. They can either take the momentum they have and use it to claim what is rightfully theirs (the AL Central) or they can scuffle and underachieve like they used to. That is up to them.

Sunday, July 1, 2012

The Race to .500

Mediocrity. Nothing that anyone really wants to say they strive for. And yet, that's what our boys are doing: and we can actually say we're kind of excited about it.

We can actually, finally say this: our team is looking better. We're not there yet, but by George we're getting there. True, it seems like every time we take two steps forward we also takes  two steps back, and we're not anywhere near our full potential, but we look better.

Sure, taking 1-of-3 from both Pittsburg and Texas wasn't ideal, but after winning four consecutive series we can allow for a little wiggle room. Look at the shit we're pulling against Tampa! One day after The Verlander "struggled", Rick Porcello out-duels David Freaking Price and throws one of the best games of his career and gave up only 4 hits.

As far as position players go, Austin Jackson is looking more and more like an All-Star every day as he distances himself further and further from Austin Jackson, Strikeout King from last season. Miguel Cabrera is an absolute boss, which is nothing new, but he is only furthering his boss-status with his latest efforts. Prince Fielder is his super-slugging compatriot, the Robin to Miguel's Batman, and the two of them are only just beginning to fully click.

So maybe a race to mediocrity isn't exactly something to be proud of. And even though this whole season has taken a series of unexpected twists and turns, we expect our boys to emerge from the upcoming all-star break refreshed, hungry, and ready to take back what is ours: the Division.

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Play-by-Play 6/24/12

Megan here!

So, after winning 4 series in a row, the Tigers lost two games in a row to Pittsburgh. The surprisingly second-best team in the NL central. Hopefully, we can avoid being swept by this team, so I don't weep into my computer while trying to finish this blog post.

This is going to be a looooong one, so follow me after the jump for the whole play by play!

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Ball So Hard

You hear that?

You hear that, Cleveland Indians? Hear it, Chicago White Sox? That noise coming closer and closer? Yeah. That's the sound of the Detroit Tigers catching up to you. That's the sound of a change in the Baseball Tide. That is the sound of a team clicking for the first time since opening week.

We've won three series in a row and 6 of the past 9 games. Now it's time for our team to show their talents off to the St. Louis Cardinals--a good team, but certainly one we can beat, especially at home. With Octavio Dotel off the DL and Alex Avila back this weekend, our team is finally, finally, FINALLY coming back in full force.

For the first time since opening week we are optimistic and happy with how our team is playing. Of course, this could mean they will suddenly go on a 10-game slide, but we honestly don't think they will.   In that last series against the Rockies, our team looked good, and better yet, dangerous.

We also hear the ever-annoying sound of the bandwagon fans clamoring around, waiting for our Tigers to pounce into first place so they can clamor on board as usual, pretending like they never left. Whatever. We've had confidence in this bunch the entire time.

We're not saying that our boys are about to go on a 20-game winning streak and win the AL Central by August, but we are expecting that THIS is what it will take to finally turn the corner. So kick, back, relax, and watch the show. It's about to be an interesting series.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Agent Q

After watching the game tonight, and the many games that preceded it, we can conclude one thing: the Tigers are very average right now. We can also conclude something far more obvious: the Tigers' defense is a piece of shit. You KNOW your defense sucks when Miguel Cabrera is frequently the best infielder while playing third base. That shit cray. Example: Juh-honny Peralta made two consecutive errors tonight and allowed a run to score--two errors which cost us the game.  Excluding the fact that he might be injured (which considering the luck this team has had is very very possible), it didn't even look like he tried.

So while our defense struggles and our team scuffles, the three of us are trying this new thing called *POSITIVITY!!!!!!!* One very positive thing is that our main squeeze Austin Jackson ins back in the lineup and already making his extremely sexy presence felt, especially in Sunday's come-from-behind win against the Reds. He is becoming an even better table-setter than we expected and should HOPEFULLY give this offense a boost.

The other aforementioned bright side is something of a surprise. At 27 he is just getting his first taste of the majors, but he is already leaving a lasting impression on this Tigers fan base due to his acrobatic catches and consistent hitting. He's no Austin Jackson, but he's doing pretty well for himself. His name?

He's on a Mission

This, in case you've been hiding under a rock (and have every right to be given the Tigers' record right now) is Quintin Berry, he of the dubious spelling (what else is new), high speed, and good looks. Say what you must about his longevity or starting potential on our team, but this guy is always energized, always athletic and always fun to watch. The same cannot be said for some of his outfield counterparts--Brennan Boesch, for example, is rising higher and higher on our Shit List. But! This is about *POSITIVE!!!!!* thinking, so we're just going to ignore the nasty horrible defense that anyone not named Austin Jackson or Quintin Berry have been putting up.

Let's move on from this icky-poo game and hopefully win the series against one of the worst teams we've seen in a long time. Let's hope that something--anything--changes our Bush League defense into one of an actual Major League ballclub. And lets hope that Quintin Berry can get more and more chances to shine, even as our season grows darker and drearier.

Sunday, June 3, 2012


So is this up and down, roller coaster, we're-decent-oh-wait-now-we-suck-oh-shit-we've-hit-rock-bottom-oh-hey-walk off!! trend going to be a thing now? Because if so, we do not like it.

These Tigers, man. Just when you think they're on a roll, they fail miserably, and just when your ready to scream, "F*** that!" and abandon them forever, they pull off a win like they did tonight. Not too many things are clicking right now, if we're honest. That does not include Miguel Cabrera, who hit two absolute bombs tonight and continues to show why he's he best in the biz.

However, thanks to Jose Valverde, who looks so, so much worse this year, we almost lost Cabrera's gem. Prince continues to hit the ball well, though still no power, and although Austin Jackson isn't back yet (SOB!) Quintin Berry is playing like a BOSS. But it doesn't get much better after that. Ryan Raburn's horrific spring landed him in Toledo, and Doug Fister is again on the DL, not to mention the fact that Omir Santos is our only available catcher right now, what with Alex Avila and Gerald Laird day to day.

So what we're trying to say is, every thing is, for lack of a better word, pretty freaking lame right now. We are playing like a .500 team, at best, and are hopelessly riddled with injuries. This is not what we should be doing. And its understandably making the fans pretty pissed. Hopefully our fearless leaders Dave Dombrowski and Jim Leyland have something up their sleeve as far as a Mystery Spark to get the team going. Getting Jackson back will definitely help. But this season is now two months old, and our team is the most basic of bitches right now. Partially due to bad luck, but still.

Still, we never give up on them. Ever. The AL Central is still the Detroit Tigers' to lose, and our team should come around eventually. We think.

PS-look for a lot more material this month! Life + finals +the Tigers being boring = slow times at April in the D. Thanks for reading guys!

Saturday, May 26, 2012

We Wish We Could Quit You

"Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
Well that's alright because I love the way it hurts.
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
Well that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie."
-Eminem feat. Rihanna, "Love the Way You Lie"

Rage. Torment. Despair. Humiliation. All of those emotions and adjectives applied to our Detroit Tigers' most recent series against the Cleveland Indians. That was one of the most brutal, demoralizing, and poorly-played series we've seen in a long time. A very long time. We were actually convinced Justin Verlander was going to blow up the clubhouse on Thursday.

Did you see the amount of tweets that said stuff like, "I'm done with the Tigers!" or "Never watching these idiots again!" or "FIRE LEYLAND" or "We want Brandon Inge back!" Yeah, there were a shitload of those flying around the past few days. Normally we scorn and scoff at the bandwagon fans who diss the Tigers every time they lose, but man did this team deserve some of the pure hate that came their way. That series was disgusting. Worse still, the offensive MVP of the season so far, Austin Jackson, just landed on the DL. The three of us mutually agreed watching a Tigers game was equivalent to eating glass, and our minds and bodies could not take much more of this abuse. Thank the Lord we aren't as attached this season!, we said.

And then.

And then we were back in front of the TV at 8 o clock, ready to watch the game. We were back to watch what we believed was another inevitable Tigers loss filled with shitty bullpen pitching and non-existent hitting. We were ready to turn to each other after the game, smile feebly and unconvincingly, and whisper "Who needs 'em anyway? Hahahahaha!"

And then!

And then our boys won today, in loud and sexy fashion, by piling on 10 runs off of 15 hits. Our boys again showed flashes of the team that they very easily could be, if they would just pull their heads out of their assholes and remember how to hit and field and pitch. Smiley Smyly showed us once again why we love him so. So did Alex Avila. So did Prince Fielder. So did Brennan Boesch. And while Quintin Berry is no Jackson, he is easy on the eyes. So that is an obvious plus.

However. We've been fooled before. We've been waiting for some mystical magical "spark" that would get this group going, and every time we thought we found one (anytime JV did anything, walk-off wins, etc.) our heart would just be broken the next day or the day after when the Tigers lost in some pathetic manner. Such abuse! Such torment! We know what our boy Em and our girl RiRi are talking about now.

While we might have just actually compared watching 2012 Tigers Baseball to domestic violence, we think it's time for everyone to put on their happy faces and adopt a new attitude, us included. It's still so freaking early. The division is still ours to lose, no matter what some dumbass Indians fan might say. So we have another song to represent our current state of mind:

"Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you."
-Rick Astley, "Never Gonna Give You Up"

That's right. We ain't NEVER gonna give up on this Tigers team. Though it will be trying at times, especially when our boys look like little leaguers (a.k.a what they look like right now) we are just incapable of abandoning this team right now, and we never ever will be.

That Cleveland series though? BLECH.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

A Bunch o' Bums

The three of us here at April in the D have an amusingly curmudgeon-like grandfather who seems to take no greater pleasure than dashing our hopes and dreams by being ridiculously pessimistic about the Tigers.  In a way, he is our classic literary foil. He plays devils advocate and forces us to realize all the good things about our boys in order to defend them against his vicious verbal attacks.

However, he said one thing recently that rang a little too true... "The only guys on this team that are pulling their weight are Verlander, Fielder, Jackson and Dirks. The rest of them are a bunch o' bums."

While we would tentatively expand that list to Smyly and Cabrera as well, we kind of have to agree.  All of the bumming around has done nothing to improve our win-loss ratio. It seems that these six dudes are the only ones standing between us plummeting down to last place behind the freaking-terrible Minnesota Twins.

Okay, that might be a little over dramatic, but everyone knows that the way we've been playing recently is below what this team can or should be doing.

Verlander, Fielder, Smyly, Dirks, Cabrera and Jackson, however, have been playing fabulously.  Jackson got off to a fast start this year, and hasn't really slowed down at all.  He may still strike out a lot, but he's fifth in the league in batting average, which is not too shabby at all. Also, Jackson may even be stepping up his defense this year.  This year, he's done something that we don't think we've ever really do before, which is dive for balls. He almost always just gets there in time, or let's it bounce, but apparently he's ready to starting diving for them, which means centerfield just got smaller for all those opposing hitters.

Dirks has fit into the number two spot seamlessly, and is hitting up a storm in the month of May. The one two punch of him and Jackson is probably the most comfortable we feel in the batting order, and, since we're always rooting for the under-dog, it's nice to see a guy who was a non-roster invitee a year or so ago have the number two spot in the starting rotation. Or that's a really bad thing...we're not sure which.

Prince hits long balls, which is no surprise, but he's also been doing a lot of hustling.... more hustling than I thought possible for a big superstar like Prince. He's really shown a desire to win, which should be true of all competitive professional athletes, but seems to be especially true for him.  He gets those "ribbies" for us so that's all that really matters.

Smyly has come a really long way from being a scared AA pitcher making his first start in the bigs. He's arguably the second best starter on the team, and definitely the third best in terms of performance this year.  He has the second best ERA, the second best WHIP, and the third most strikeout out of all the starters.  He's been doing a very good job of putting the Tigs in the position to win, which they frustratingly haven't been doing, which shows in Smyly's win loss record.  Don't let that fool you though, Smyly is talented, and more importantly, he's been consistent all year long.

Verlander is the bomb. What else needs to be said?  He just took a no-hitter into the ninth, and it wasn't even surprising... you're always expecting that kind of play with Verlander, which says enough in himself.

And Miguel Cabrera is Miguel Cabrera. Sure, he's not hitting .400, and he's had some rough patches, but he's always come roaring back with a vengeance. We're still holding out for him to win his first MVP of his already sparkling career. And that defense! Who out of all of you saw that coming??

So with these six great players on the team, why are we still losing to the Indians?  The answer is, the rest of our team are a bunch o' bums! We couldn't have said it better ourselves, Grandpa. Leyland needs to whip these guys in to shape soon if we have a hope of realizing the dream all us crazy Tiger fans saw at the beginning of the season.

Shape up Tigers, and soon! It's getting waaaaaaaaay too hard to be optimistic.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Snatching Victory from the Jaws of Defeat (and Vice Versa)

We love sports. Obviously, if you're reading this blog, you know that we do. We especially love baseball. Again, pretty obvious. But there are some annoying patterns that really drive us crazy. Perhaps the most annoying pattern of all is one that our Tigers currently experienced/are experiencing: just when we think they're about to gain momentum and go on some winning streak and everyone starts to click, we fall apart (read: Monday night's game). We lose. We fail.

At least, that's what the three of us thought yesterday as we watched our boys fall into an 0-6 hole. Oh great, we thought. Anemic offense and pathetic pitching. Thus is the story of our season so far. So soon had we forgotten the glory that was last year's comeback against the White Sox. And it happened again. In one inning, no less. Miguel Cabrera and Austin Jackson continued to be all kinds of awesome with their home runs, and Ryan Raburn decided to remember how to hit a ball and drove in for runs, including his first homer of the season. Not. Too. Shabby.

Is this finally the game that can get our boys, who we know to be capable of so much, on track? Four out of five (sorry Max) starting pitchers are looking good-if-not-great. Prince Fielder is waking up, Cabrera is alive, and Jackson is unstoppable. Hell, look at Andy Dirks. He's doing a better Boesch impersonation than Brennan himself, and Dirks has the defense to back himself up. Yes, it does look like our team is starting to put the pieces together, but to every silver lining there is a cloud.

It definitely speaks to the level of the AL Central when our boys are sitting pretty (?) at .500 in the middle of May and only 2 games out of first place. And granted, not everyone is playing poorly, as we've stated in earlier blog posts. But as everyone should realize by now, whenever you're doing something in a group you're only as good as your weakest link. The below-average fan or above-average MLive commenter would scream "RAYBURN! He's our weakest link! We shouldda never've released Brandon Inge! I always knew I loved that guy!! Screw Rayburn send him to Toledo!!!!" Guess what, idiots? Ryan Raburn is not our biggest problem. Look at what he did in yesterday's game! Obviously it isn't enough to overlook a pretty poor start to the season, but he is not what's keeping our team down. No, to even a casual Tigers viewer, it's no secret who the culprit is.


Ah, yes. Public Enemies #1, 2, 3, 4, 5 & 6 (we're leaving out Duane Below). Over the past month these guys have really screwed us by blowing leads or giving up runs in tie game situations. It is a joke and proof of the irrelevance of the win statistic that Collin Balester is 2-0 right now, picking up the win in yesterday's game. Look at poor Drew "No Decision" Smyly. Boy is pitching like he's a veteran and is either a) getting no early run support, or b) getting shafted by his bullpen.

We've learned to view this season with a suspicious and wary eye. Just when we think our boys are on a roll, they disappoint us. Conversely, when we are so fed up we can barely watch, the Tigers surprise us by playing a great game. Sooner or later, they'll show their true colors, and with a homestand against the (shitty) Twins and the (shitty) Pirates, we hope our boys will get hot and stay that way.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Drowning in a Sea of Mediocrity

Silly title to a blog post, isn't it? Well, a) we're silly people over here, and b) that's exactly what watching the Tigers nowadays feels like. Actually, it feels startlingly similar to last year in terms of end results of games. Having our bullpen blow so many solid leads is truly alarming (an extremely, extremely aggravating) and watching our hitters struggle at the plate is pissing us off maybe even more. What will be the event that turns us around?

The one bright spot (besides Austin Jackson. God Bless Austin Jackson) is our starting pitching. Doug "Jesus" Fister descended from on high came off the Disabled List and pitched a gem last night. The Savior then got to watch his beautiful game be f***** up by Octavio Dotel who, like the rest of our bullpen right now, has struggled mightily lately. At least Dougie is back. We can't describe how much we love/have missed him.

Our other starters have also done well, only inevitably to see our offense and bullpen fail them. The offense is especially disappointing because…well…look at them. Look at what they have the ability to do.  As we keep saying over and over and freaking over again, the offense will eventually click. It's just getting annoying that we're finally through our murderous April (in the D!) and nothing really has changed yet.

We're not asking for 4 homers per superstar like Josh Hamilton did tonight (congrats to him, by the way). We're just asking for a little more breathing room for our hot-and-cold bullpen. Last year our first good-baseball catalyst was the Verlander no-hitter. We would love to see a great game like that to turn our losing ways around.

Despite all the bitching and moaning done by us above, we know that this isn't any time to freak out. If we're pulling this shit in late July, then fans are allowed to flip their lids a little. Now is not the time, and it's maddening to see some fans take to Facebook and Twitter and other baseball sites and completely blow our team, our manager, and our record out of proportion. We've said it before: Calm the eff down, people.

Though, even we're getting a little tired of saying it.

Friday, May 4, 2012


It's a funny thing about baseball...there are so many games throughout the season that teams can change their momentum multiple times in a year. Teams that start off terrible win the pennant, teams that win eight straight end up at the bottom of their division.  All it takes is a single event, series, or game to turn around a team.  Tonight's game could be that game!
Here at April in the D we've kind of refused to stop being optimistic, and after tonight's walk-off win against the hated Jake Peavy and the Chicago White Sox on a home run by slumping Jhonny Peralta, the team could be energized enough to pick up their bats and become the team we all thought they'd be at the beginning of the season.
Because the dynamic of a team can change so fast, it's no surprise that we've been slumping lately. After a couple of terrible series and The Denard Incident, the bats have been slow and the arms have been kind of lackluster.  That's why we needed this moment.
So, basically, thanks Jhonny! And we hope to see some more big bats in the next series!  EAT EM UP!

Sunday, April 29, 2012


Well. We needed to get at least one win in this series, didn't we? Going 1-6 in our own homefield (with a humiliating sweep by the Mariners) and losing a game we should have won to the Yankees was bad enough.The worst, however, came at 3 AM Friday morning when our own Delmon Young was arrested.

This has been a tough week and a half. Losing three series in a row--and going a depressing 2-8 during that stretch--hasn't done much to raise our morale. We know we've been preaching that the Tigers will get it together, it's only April, blah blah blah. All this is still true, and we are 99% confident that our team will eventually figure their shit out and comfortably win the division. And if we win tomorrow, we will technically be above .500 for the month of April. And looking at our ridiculous hard April schedule contrasted with a much-easier May, this can only bode well.

Like we said, however, we've got some major things to figure out. Max Scherzer, for instance. He seems to be reverting back to his old schizophrenic self, and now we're just waiting for that game when it all clicks for him and he starts pitching like Ace #3 again. For now, however, its frustrating watching anyone not named Justin Verlander, Drew Smyly, Octavio Dotel, or Duane Below pitch. Our relief core has been mediocre at best to abysmal at worst.

The hitters, too, need to start picking it up. Though there has been a few positive signs: (Miguel Cabrera coming back from his slump with a vengeance, Prince Fielder's continued production, Austin Jackson proving himself as a capable leadoff man) the lineup is not clicking as a whole. Yet. Just like last year, we predict they will start really coming together pretty soon. You can only keep hitters as talented as these down for a matter of time, though why they are "down" at all is kind of confusing. We should be murdering opposing pitchers, even at this early stage in the season.

This leads us to the most pressing matter--Delmon Young's arrest. We're not going to go too far into what we think about his alleged screaming of hateful Jewish slurs while extremely intoxicated, and that's mostly because we don't know enough information yet. But if everything said in the papers is true (and according to our hero Dave Dombrowski, it's not) then our opinion of Delmon's character is significantly lower.

Some people wonder if this kind of thing can damage a team, and question whether our clubhouse will rebound from it. Hello? Remember last year when our best player was arrested for a DUI, which was his second brush with the law involving alcohol? Yeah, we do too, and guess what? Our team (and the player in question) bounced back just fine. That being said, this situation is pleasant for no one, and it is one of the last things that our boys need right now. But this is something that they can recover from.

Long story short, we still have a lot (and we mean a lot) of confidence in our team. But this shit ain't pretty, and the team needs to rally around one another in this time of need and turn this slump around.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Random Tiger's Thoughts from Megan: April in the D's First 2012 Game

Hi guys!

So, it's taken me a little while to get this post up, but I was able to go to CoPa for the first time this year, due to a birthday surprise from a couple friends.  Awesome I know. Overall, I was really happy with the tiger's performance. It was the second game of the double-header against the Rangers, so I got to see a Tiger's win, and it was just plain exciting to see JV face off against Feliz in a killer pitcher's duel.  The seats were great, we won the game, and I got to enjoy great company, but there was one thing I could not get over... the overall hatred Tiger's fans seem to have against Brandon Inge.

I understand completely that the guy sucks at baseball right now.  He came into Saturday's game hitting .071.  He'd have to be an anorexic 8th grade girl to even begin to be hitting his weight.  His defense at second base isn't so good that he can hit that poorly. And even though it's the beginning of the season, it is a disturbing trend.  I understand all of this, and I personally would rather have Danny Worth up here than Inge.

I'm not going to constantly heckle the poor guy throughout the entire game though!  One of the girls that went to the game with me was kind of disturbed by it.  She is a diehard Cards fan from St. Louis and felt really bad for Inge.  When other people's fans feel bad for a guy, you know the situation has gotten out of hand.  It's okay to boo him when he misplays an easy ball. If he strikes out for the third time in one day, groans of disappointment are acceptable.  But what's sad is that people were heckling him before he even started to play.  I guess that as a Tiger's fan that doesn't have the privilege to attend many games, I don't want to spend my time harassing my team.  I'd rather heckle the Rangers.  I don't see what real Tigers fans have to gain from bothering Brandon throughout the entire game. I doubt it's going to make him a better second-baseman.

The thing that shocks me most about this whole "We hate Brandon" trend is that he was one of the most beloved players one or two years ago.  There are those who have always hated him, but as loyal fans, I honestly don't think we should be kicking the guy while he's down.  I mean, he doesn't have to play for the Tigers, but Jim Leyland doesn't need a belligerent "YOU SUCK, BRANDON" to tell him that. Let Brandon play the game, and Leyland will decide whether or not Brandon plays at Comerica or  in triple A.

Other than that, I had a fabulous time! I was kind of obsessed with the new huge Tiger sign on top the new huge megatron-thing. It's really cool!

Rant over.  That was kind of a bad loss to the mariners, but I'm still optimistic about the season! Go Tigers!