World Series Game 1: Wait…What?

Ahem.

So.

That game did not turn out as expected. Like, really, really not as expected. Crazy shit was happening and we kept looking around the room like, "Is this a joke? Are we on Punk'd? What in the world is going on here?"

First off, Justin Brooks Verlander did not look anything like Justin Brooks Verlander. Sure, he gave up his standard first-inning home run (to one persistent Panda). Annoying, but not unexpected and not anything our boys couldn't bounce back from. And then the third inning happened and all hell broke loose. A ball that should have been easily fielded by Miggy hit the bag and errantly rolled into left field. This seemed to shake our sweet JV, as he subsequently gave up 3 more runs in the inning and 4 more overall, including an RBI single to Barry Zito.

'Tis true. BARRY ZITO. That was when we knew the laws of nature/physics/the Gods were not on our side this game. We especially knew it when Delmon Young grounded into the weirdest double play ever, when Gregor Blanco robbed us not once but twice on identical plays, and JV was out of the game by the fifth inning. Unreal.

We would like to know--what kind of voodoo witch magic did the Giants cast to get such improbable wins? Who or what did they sacrifice to which god? Did they sell their souls to the devil? We're not sure, but that game was such a shit show of Improbable Things You Never Thought Would Happen that we're wiling to believe anything at this point. It was almost funny!!!

Almost.

You know what we need our Tigers to do now? Get pissed. Get angry. Get revenge. Justin Verlander has carried our team pitching-wise all year long. Now it's time for our team to come back in Game 2 and avenge him. We all know this team can bounce back from disappointment. The Giants and their Panda have had their fun. It's our team's turn now.

And for all you people giving up on our team already (we know you're there! We see you!!!): FOR SHAME. The sky is not falling, the world is not ending, and our team is nowhere close to being done. This was only a minor setback, and now it's time for our boys to step up on the world's biggest stage.