I'm sorry. I'm so, so, so sorry.
First can I say how amazing you were today? How fantastic you are to watch? After a game in which the Kansas City Royals pounded us with 18 hits, you were absolutely perfect through six innings and only allowed four hits and one run through 7 and 2/3. You were amazing on the mound, exhibiting an amazing control and a nearly perfect eye for the strike zone. Doug, you were exhilarating to watch, and I feel so happy that you're on our team during a playoff race that could prove to be very close. Your stuff is amazing, and I commend you.
The Tigers don't deserve you. You came from the Mariners with a promise of something you've never had this season. The Tigers stacked lineup promised you run support, wins, and an opportunity to shine on a division-leading team. What did we give you today? While you were on the mound we only managed two hits, and we couldn't even get you a run. Not a single run. "It's all right," you say, "I'm used to it." But that's just it, Doug, you shouldn't be used to this treatment. You should be getting the same hustle that Justin Verlander gets every time he steps on the mound. You deserved the win today, you really did, and I'm so so sorry that we couldn't do it for you.
So, Doug, I just wanted to tell you that you shouldn't feel sad. We did win tonight, in dramatic fashion. So at least we're still winning the central! Please don't hate us. You should have gotten the win. You did your part. It should be you that gets the glory. You should be all smiles after your performance today, and I'm just happy that we could pull the win out eventually so you could at least go home with a small smirk. Before you leave the clubhouse tonight, make sure you get a big hug from Cabrera or something. Make sure someone tells you how amazingly talented and wonderful you are. I know we got the win, and maybe you're saying, "Calm down! It's all good! A win is a win is a win!" And that's true Doug, that's true. But you deserve more than what we've been giving you. And I swear our hitters will try to be better. They will.
With all the Tiger-love and empathy in the world,
P.S. Say "congrats" to Lil' Ramon will ya? You two should be SO proud!