A Message from The Tigers: Roaring Rampage of Revenge

Uma's only saying what Tigers fans are all thinking...

"Looked dead, didn't we? 

Well, we weren't. But it wasn't from lack of trying, we can tell you that. Actually, that umpire's missed call put our team in a slump--a slump we were to lie in for four months. When we snapped out of it, we went on what the ESPN announcers refer to as 'A Roaring Rampage of Revenge.' We roared, and we rampaged, and we got bloody satisfaction. 
We've beaten a hell of a lot of teams to get to this point, but we've only got one more. 

The last one. 

The one we're driving to right now. 

The only team left. 

And when we arrive at the World Series, we are gonna

BEAT THE GIANTS."



DEATH LIST FOUR

1. Chicago White Sox

2. Oakland Athletics

3. NEW YORK YANKEES

4. San Francisco Giants

If you readers don't get what was just referenced above, watch Kill Bill. You won't regret it, and maybe you'll blame us less for doing something so cheesy. But goddammit, we're excited. Our boys clawed their way out of mediocrity and disappointment and are now in the World freaking Series. Tigers vs. Giants. Verlander vs. Zito. It all starts tonight.

The Tigers have red on their ledger, and they'd like to…wait, wrong movie. Whatever. To Game 1 we go!!!

ALDS Games 1&2: A Series of Fortunate Events

First things first: 2-0, BABY!!! TWO GAMES UP!!! ONE GAME FROM CLINCHING!!! EAT IT, OAKLAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, those silly Tigers! Giving us such bad breathing and heart problems that we almost pass out/die! Making those two games (especially Game 2, good GAWD) as close as close can be! Making us literally shriek in terror in public places and scream like we're being murdered but we're actually just watching a Don Kelly (!!!) walk-off sac fly! YOU SILLY, SILLY PEOPLE!!!!

Game 1 wasn't so terrifying. After Verlander gave up a leadoff home run, he was dominant, going seven innings and only allowing a handful of hits. The offense gave us just enough breathing room to comfortably get the win, and the Tigers won what might have been their most important game: one that Verlander pitched. Also, fun fact: Alex Avila's home run was the only RBI that was a hit. All of the Tigers other runs in the series so far have come from sacrifices, outs, or errors on Oakland's part.

Speaking of Oakland--they may be So Hot Right Now, but they were as sloppy as the Tigers were these past two games. Youth and energy works well for a race to the playoffs, but will Oakland do to us what they did to Texas and sweep? We don't think so. The energy in Oakland will be amazing, but we think our boys have enough experience and moxie to take the A's down.

We like that word. Moxie. We should use it more often.

Moxie is also not a word not often applied to Don Kelly (at least we don't think so) but he definitely had it in spades when he hit that amazing, breathtaking, majestic grand slam sac fly to help Detroit take Game 2.  And what a Game it was! After the fearsome pitchers duel that was Doug Fister and some Random Lefty The Tigers Should Have Taken Advantage Of But Didn't, the bullpens of both teams turned the game into an absolute vortex of a shit storm. 

Errors were made, wild pitches were thrown, and heart attacks were induced by both sides. When the dust settled, Al Albuquerque had kissed a baseball (truth) and Joaquin Benoit had given up two stolen bases, a wild pitch and a home run, but SOME HOW we were still tied at the bottom of the 9th.

And then Don Kelly happened.

Infante and Cabrera singled and Fielder walked to give our boys the bases loaded with one out and Don Kelly to the plate. Now, we could see what was going to happen. Good ol' DK was gonna ground into a Tigers-patented double play or strike out. He had never walked-off before. Who said he was gonna do it now?

Don Kelly said, that's who. He hit a soaring sac fly that left no doubt that the victory belonged to the Tigers, and our boys rushed the field in what could have been the most empowering and heartwarming moment of the season thus far. Us fans laughed, cried, and passed out from exhaustion/relief/joy. This just goes to show: in the playoffs, anyone can be a hero. And that day it was Don Kelly.

Ah, but really--bless those boys. Because now we're going into Oakland needing to only win one game. It's no secret: we would LOVE to just clobber those guys now and be done with it, but we're not naive. We know Oakland is going to try and give it everything they've got tonight. They have to. But then again, so will we. 

Let's end this tonight, boys. To battle we go  !

Ain't Nobody Got Time For This

We're sure some people get a huge kick out of a superclose playoff race. The idea of the Tigers coming from behind in the last weeks--no, days--of the season probably gets some people going. Okay. We respect that. Pennant races are an exciting thing, especially when it's do-or-die for a playoff spot! So to you thrill-seekers, risk-takers, horror-movie lovers: this playoff season is for you!!!

However, to the vast majority of us, our thoughts can only be summed up thusly:

That's right, Sweet Brown. Ain't NOBODY got time for the shit that the Tigers are pulling. After a disappointing series against the god-awful Indians, Jim Leyland & Co. decide to play twisted games with our hearts and minds by being SWEPT by the Boy Wonder and his team out in La La Land. We just have to say something really quick about the Angels--shouldn't they be a lot better than they are playing right now? I mean, holy crow, look at that lineup! Look at that rotation! The should at least be in 2nd place in the West! But we digress. It is the Tigers (many) problems and errors we should be worried about, not some other team.

I mean, what the hell was that out in LA? An unmitigated disaster, for sure, but can we please just look at the state of our offense? Pathetic. And the state of Justin Verlander? I mean, we know he is but one man, and a mortal man at that, but holy crap this is not the time for our ace to choke. It is also not the time for our offense to let down our other starters (Sanchez, Scherzer) when they throw a good game.

(Luckily, Kansas City is playing their troll role to perfection once more and took 2 out of 3 from the Sox. Beautifully done! Of course, we wouldn't mind if they played like poo against our boys.)

And then of course we get to Chicago. After we were humiliated in game one, the three of us were about to shoot off an R-rated, rage-fueled post that would make our few readers remaining to us run screaming. However, lack of time due to school-work-anger delayed this post one day, and we're happy it did. Mister Fister pitched splendidly and the offense-gasp!-actually came through in the clutch.

So now here we are, back in the usual spot of two-games-back-with-two-to-play against the White Sox. Our best (we think) two pitchers are on the mound, and hopefully our offense can get inspired enough to back them up. HOPEFULLY our team can do this for us, so we can continue this heart-attack of a season with slightly better footing. 

But seriously, Tigers: no one wants to watch this up-and-down bullcrap anymore. Just win the games you should be winning. For our sakes, and for yours.

A Bittersweet Goodbye, An Unwelcome Hello

We all know it. We all hear it. We all love it (this is actually extremely questionable). But it seems as if the April in the D song, so synonymous with the start of the baseball season on Fox Sports Detroit, is not going to be renewed this year.

This is a very love/hate situation for all of us. On one hand, by the end of April you want to throw your TV out the window when watching Tigers games, if only to rid our heads of the incessant "April April in the D! FOX SPORTS DETROIT ON YOUR TEE VEEEEE!" Brings back memories, huh?

On the other paw, the April in the D song signifies the start of the most glorious part of the year: Baseball Season. It's been a tradition for, what, four years now? And we've gotten used to reviewing all the finalists and picking our favorites (who never seem to win, but whatever). Plus, it's the namesake of this freaking blog!

FSD has other ideas, though. Due to the overwhelming success amongst male Tiger fans and general hatred from the female ones, the network has decided to hold The Next Fox Sports Detroit Girl Search in hopes that they will find "talent" akin to Lauren and Ashley (is that her name? Whatever).

We've said it before: the FSD girls are hardly our favorite thing about watching Tigers games. In fact, we'd almost rather watch Fox games announced by Joe Buck then have to sit through 10 + commercials a game with Lauren/Ashley simpering and strutting for the camera. This isn't the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show.

We've beat that horse pretty dead, we know. But if you're going to do that, why can't we just have Brennan Boesch or Rick Porcello or Austin Jackson in some smoldering ads as well? We need to give the ladies something to look at, too. Equal rights!!!!!

Anyway, this marks the dawn of a new age for Aprils in Detroit. Who knows if they will use some kind of April in the D song? At any rate, if they do use one, it won't be from a contest. Which might mean it could be a less-annoying April than usual in the D. We could get used to that.

As a final farewell to the April in the D contest, here is a very good rendition of the song by the band The Product. We love it. Too bad it won't be featured on FSD this year….enjoy!

Stars over...Kansas?

The three of us here at April in the D are very very excited.  Why, you ask?  Because a brand new star outfielder is coming to the Tigers. We know you're screaming right now, "YOENIS CESPEDES?!" and doing a happy dance, but we have to tell you that this star is even better.  A brand new baseball celebrity  has been born, and that star is this man:

Yes, Detroit's big new baseball sensation is the corn-eatin', tractor-ridin', Kansas-born, thick-necked sweetheart Andrew "Andy" Dirks!

We know. We were surprised to hear this too, but according to this article, Andy is quite the smash in the Dominican Republic, where he is currently playing with the Dominican Republic's Escogido Squad in the Caribbean League.  He had recently made a quite a few clutch, late-inning plays, and although he's only hitting .262 or so, the fans there absolutely love him.  Chants of "Andy! Andy! Andy!" have apparently been heard in the stadium on multiple occasions, and his performance has turned him in to a "mini-celebrity" on the island. 

We're proud of our boy Andy, and we hope he can bring this momentum into Spring Training and hopefully into the 2012 season as well.  However, if Andy enjoys his celebrity, we wouldn't actually mind him staying there if we can get Yoenis Cespedes in the meantime. In all seriousness though, we didn't know lil' Dirks had this in him, and we're really proud that he's reppin' the D all the way in the Dominican Republic!  With Prince Fielder, Justin Verlander, Miguel Cabrera, and most importantly, Andy Dirks, we have far and away the most star power in the AL Central, as if they weren't far enough behind already.  Take that, Twins!

In other news, we can't wait for the season to start!  We need baseball. Enough with the waiting.

DIBS!

So, a lot of you guys probably know about Bless You Boy's annual DIBS (Detroit Independent Baseball Scribes) Awards, celebrating a plethora of Tigers achievements throughout the season. Well, for some reason, they let the three of us join the fun this year, and we got to weigh in on who won the awards.

(There was also an opportunity for us to create our own categories. We had some ideas, but we didn't think our fellow bloggers--especially the male ones--would appreciate voting on the "Most Stunning Physique" award.)

Without further ado, here are the winners in their respective categories, with additional commentary on who we voted for and why!

Most Valuable Tiger
Winner: Justin Verlander
Our Choice: Justin Verlander

MVP, Cy Young Award Winner, Triple Crown champ--there is no other person who made more of an impact on not only our team, but the whole league. The obvious choice.

Best Rookie
Winner: Al Alburquerque
Our Choice: Al Alburquerque

Since Al Al's only competition was Andy "Run-Forest-Run" Dirks, this was another obvious choice. It should be mentioned that Al was quite the surprise this year, and we look forward to watching him become the next Joel Zumaya seeing him make hitters look like absolute fools next year.

Best Role Player
Winner: Ramon Santiago
Our Choice…Alex Avila (Ramon Santiago)

We make fun of people for acting like idiots, so we should just go ahead and laugh at ourselves right now. We misread the category and voted for Avila, but if we weren't so dumb we would have voted for Ramon. He is very solid defensively at both short and second, and while Some People (Read: Don Kelly) play more positions, that doesn't mean they play all those positions that well.

Best Moment
Winner: Austin Jackson Double-Play
Out Choice: ALDS Game 5 Win

There were so many great, unforgettable moments this season. Jackson's DP. Raburn and Cabrera's home runs to come back from 7 down against the White Sox. Verlander's no-hitter. But in the end, for us at least, there was never a moment where we were more proud of our team than when Valverde struck out A-Rod to beat the Yankees at Yankee Stadium. Where everyone and their mother said we would lose. It was truly a team effort, and an exciting game we could watch over and over again.

Team Clown
Winner: Phil Coke
Our Choice: Phil Coke

Obviously there is no one else who could take this title away from insane Phil Coke. This is the man who, when we were at the ALCS, ran over to the tarp-covered field and literally started throwing water in the air (much to the delight of the two of us and the rest of the rain-soaked crowd). We love you Phil. Never change!

Best Hair
Winner: Alex Avila
Our Choice: Alex Avila

We're sure balding men everywhere, when not making fun of his ridiculously fast beard growth, are bemoaning the fact that they can't have as much hair as Avila. It's certainly entertaining for us to literally watch his five-o-clock shadow become noticeably darker by the end of a game!

Tiger's Organization Name of the Year
Winner: Doug Fister
Our Choice: Doug Fister

Ha. Hahahahaha. Poor Dougie. Let him take solace in knowing that he freaking rocks at throwing a baseball and makes millions. That should dull the pain.

Goofiest Moment
Winner: 3-way tie
Our Choice: Don Kelly igniting in flames

Justin Verlander should get a medal for that. Supposedly the real victim was supposed to be poor sweet Bumble Below, but since DK is loveably oblivious, he got hot-footed instead.

Best Victor Martinez
Winner: Senior
Our Choice: BOTH

Aw, come on, we know the answer is Victor Martinez Sr…but who can resist that face?!?! Too cute.

That was fun, kids. Now we go back to "studying for finals" when what we're really doing is obsessively checking Twitter for news on whats happening in the Winter Meetings. College Student
Problems…

A Letter to Doug Fister

Dear Doug,

I'm sorry. I'm so, so, so sorry.  

First can I say how amazing you were today?  How fantastic you are to watch?  After a game in which the Kansas City Royals pounded us with 18 hits, you were absolutely perfect through six innings and only allowed four hits and one run through 7 and 2/3.  You were amazing on the mound, exhibiting an amazing control and a nearly perfect eye for the strike zone.  Doug, you were exhilarating to watch, and I feel so happy that you're on our team during a playoff race that could prove to be very close.  Your stuff is amazing, and I commend you.

The Tigers don't deserve you.  You came from the Mariners with a promise of something you've never had this season. The Tigers stacked lineup promised you run support, wins, and an opportunity to shine on a division-leading team.  What did we give you today?  While you were on the mound we only managed two hits, and we couldn't even get you a run. Not a single run.  "It's all right," you say,  "I'm used to it."  But that's just it, Doug, you shouldn't be used to this treatment.  You should be getting the same hustle that Justin Verlander gets every time he steps on the mound.  You deserved the win today, you really did, and I'm so so sorry that we couldn't do it for you.

So, Doug, I just wanted to tell you that you shouldn't feel sad. We did win tonight, in dramatic fashion.  So at least we're still winning the central! Please don't hate us. You should have gotten the win. You did your part. It should be you that gets the glory.  You should be all smiles after your performance today, and I'm just happy that we could pull the win out eventually so you could at least go home with a small smirk.  Before you leave the clubhouse tonight, make sure you get a big hug from Cabrera or something.  Make sure someone tells you how amazingly talented and wonderful you are.  I know we got the win, and maybe you're saying, "Calm down! It's all good! A win is a win is a win!"  And that's true Doug, that's true.  But you deserve more than what we've been giving you. And I swear our hitters will try to be better. They will.

With all the Tiger-love and empathy in the world,

Megan

P.S. Say "congrats" to Lil' Ramon will ya? You two should be SO proud!

A Few Days in Tampa Bay

First off, we must say: What an amazing, exciting, confidence-boosting turnaround by our team. Although tonight's loss was a little disheartening thanks to Brandon Inge, Defensive Replacement, it's still heartening to know that by the end of the night we will be at least 5.5 games up on the competition for the AL Central crown. After that horrible series against Minnesota, we sweep Cleveland in dramatic fashion and win two very good and close games against the Rays. Last night's win in particular was outstanding, as Brad Penny out-dueled David Price. That was a sentence we never thought we would write, but things seem to really be going the Tigers way lately.

Secondly, we're sorry we haven't posted in a while. Because we have pretty busy schedules lately, including one of us going back to school for the fall, we needed to take a break. And it just so happened that Laura and Megan took that break....

In Tampa. The Tampa Bay Area. Yes, with the Tigers. 


You reader(s) may remember that about a month back Sam from Roar of the Tigers accidentally stayed in the team hotel in Minnesota. For us, it was not so much of an accident. At all. Don't worry, we're not as crazy as we sound, and we didn't harass (or even approach) any Tigers, but it was very fun and entertaining and STRANGE to see the Tigers dressed in normal clothes, walking around doing normal(ish) things.

We all have seen the Tigers up close and personal at games (obviously) and we're sure a lot of you have seen them at events or promotions or randomly on the street or wherever. But to see all these Tigers in such a small space in such a short amount of time was a little more than we could take. Meeting Curtis Granderson alone in 2009 made us almost pass out. So you can only imagine our euphoria when we were in the same hotel as all of them. At once.


Oh yeah, there was a game too, and a good one. Jump with us to read in detail about all of the Tampa Bay Fun...

The Real Reason Why The Tigers Suck in Cleveland

The Tiger's three-game series in Cleveland is over (finally). During that stretch we have seen many, many plays transpire in Progressive Field--most of them not going our way. Aside from Austin Jackson's great catch, Justin Brooks Verlander's 10 K's, and Papa Grande's 33rd save, there wasn't much to be pleased about. It should be noted that the club had been on a 12 game losing streak in Cleveland in addition to a 6-3 season record against them.

First, we sleepily watched as the Indians scraped by with a walk-off HBP that ended at 2 a.m. after 14 innings, a 2-hour rain delay, and nonexistent hitting. Next, our eyes bled as Rick Porcello was used and abused in an extremely lopsided 10-3 loss. Finally, only by the grace of the Baseball Gods and the freakish powers of Verlander were our boys able to crawl out of Cleveland with a win.

It was weird, confusing baseball for the whole series. Our Tigers did not look like the Tigers who had taken the previous two series from KC and Texas. Something was amiss.

Just what was amiss? Take a look after the jump...

A Very Harry Situation...

Take THAT, Voldemort!!

Since everything has been going really well lately (NOT), we've decided to add a little bit of cheer to your day! Presenting, the Tigers! As Harry Potter characters! The three of us recently saw the movie and were inspired to do a little puff piece, so enjoy! 

Harry Potter—Justin Verlander

            He’s such a star, and he’s the chosen one!  Plus, when he pitches he undergoes a radical mood change, which is just like Harry, who is moody about 50% of the time.  Just like Harry Potter, everyone knows Justin Verlander’s name.  If anyone is going to defeat the hated opposing batters on the other team, it’s definitely going to be him.

Ron Weasley—Austin Jackson

            If Austin were a Quidditch player, he’d definitely play keeper.  He covers about 90% of the outfield, so it only makes sense that he’d cover the three Quidditch hoops as well. Ron isn’t the best with his wand, just like Austin isn’t the best with his bat, but both men have other skills that make them great in their respective occupations.  They both seem to be good, friendly, people too.

Hermione Granger—Miguel Cabrera

            Although it pains us to make Miguel a girl, it really is fitting because he is so good at everything.  He knows all the pitchers and exactly how to hit them, just like Hermione can perform any spell just by reading about it in a book.  Not only that, people slight Miguel because of his drinking, just like people look down on Hermione because of her “Mudblood” status.  Hatters gonna hate.

Neville Longbottom— Alex Avila

            Long-Time Loser turned Ultimate Badass? That sounds just like Alex Avila to us!  Although Neville had always seemed like a wimp, when his friends needed him most, he proved instrumental in destroying The Dark Lord.  Just like Neville, Alex has always shown signs of his future greatness.  He has always had a good arm, and it seemed like there was some pop in his bat that came out every blue moon.  When he was given the pressure of the starting job though, Alex turned from a lump of coal into a diamond, just like Neville!

Luna Lovegood—Jose Valverde

            Although Luna’s quiet queerness and Papa’s crazy eccentricities are on opposite sides of the “weird” spectrum, no one can deny that they’re both downright odd. However, just like Luna is a very talented witch, The Big Potato is an incredibly talented closer.  Luna never lets the severity of a situation get to her, and the same goes for Papa.  In the top of the ninth, he always gets to do his dance. 

Rubeas Hagrid—Ryan Raburn

            Why do people like Hagrid?  He’s a big lumbering idiot who is always making stupid mistakes and people keep having to bail him out. Sound familiar?  Ryan Raburn often has a monster second half, but in the first half, he didn’t do too much hitting (at all) and made about a gagillion errors. (Sorry. Not feeling like looking up stats tonight!) I guess he’s a loveable country bumpkin.  That’s got to count for something, right?  Right?!

Collin Creevy—Rick Porcello

            For those of you not-so die-hard Harry Potter fans, Collin Creevy is an annoying young kid who is always following Harry around, asking for autographs and such. While Rick has probably only asked Justin for an autograph once or twice, you can be sure he looks up to him and idolizes him.  The ways Justin has been pitching, C.C. Sabbathia should be looking up to him, for goodness sakes.  Plus, Rick’s the youngest.  Still.

Minerva McGonagall—Victor Martinez

            Always there for her students, Professor McGonagall is a very intelligent witch, and an incredibly dedicated teacher. Victor is always there to mentor the younger players. For example, he completely turned Alex Avila around by recommending him a heavier bat, something he only could have known with years of veteran experience.  Here’s hoping he continues to be a teacher for the rest of the year, and if he’s strict like McGonagall maybe he can whip the Tigers into shape.

Albus Dumbledore—Jim Leyland

            Albus Dumbledore is a controversial figure in the Wizarding world, and the same can be said for Jim Leyland in the world of the Detroit Tigers.  You either love him or you hate him.  Sometimes, Jim has fits of genius where his team wins just because of his managerial skills.  Sometimes you see his line up card and shout, “Jim! What the F***!”  Dumbledore was just as misunderstood, and both he and Jim are fools at heart (as evidenced by the gum incident with Lloyd McClendon.)  Not to mention they’re both old as dirt.

Draco Malfoy—A.J. Pierzynski

            He’s annoying, no one seems to like him, and he’s got that disgusting bleached blonde hair. What more is there to add?

Crabbe & Goyle—Justin Morneau and Joe Mauer

            The M&M twins strike again!  Although they haven’t been too much of a threat this year, you can bet that when Joe gets healthy, these two will be the bane of our existence once more.  They always seem to pack a punch when they’re together, and it always seems like they’re packing that punch against us.

 Lord Voldemort—Umpires

            The only person Voldemort ever feared was Dumbledore, and all the League’s Umpires are pretty scared of Jim Leyland right now. The usually mild-mannered Leyland has twice recently accosted Umpires.  He was a fearsome thing to behold, Jim Leyland was, spewing spit, tobacco and fury in his wake. The Umpires deserved it of course, but one does not just take on an Umpire for fear of losing the game (or having a Perfect Game stolen). It seems like in the past few years, all Umpires ever do is screw over the Tigers.  This is evidence that they are filled with dark magic just like He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.

If you can think of anyone else who deserves to be on here let us know.  Here's hoping that the Tigers start pitching and hitting again soon. We don't even want to think about the White Sox right now, honestly.

Bits and Giggles

Yippee!!!

Sorry we haven't been posting as much in recent days. We've been busy with work and stuff, but in the next few days we should be posting some special stuff in addition to our mid-season awards. Get excited, people.

For now, though, we just have a few observations. We're not the kind of "fans" who berate Jim Leyland mercilessly, call for Ryan Raburn's head on a daily basis, etc. But we do have a beef with Leyland about his lineup lately. Is he really putting the best players out there on a consistent basis? It kills us to see the lineup we have today: Santiago, Kelly, Raburn, Wells, and Dirks? I mean, everyone needs a day off once in a while, and Jackson has an owie, but really? No Magglio (who is playing MUCH more like the Maggs we know and love) and no Juh-honny? Bull. We know DK is Mr. Utility; in fact, all of our utility players are solid. We just don't buy into playing them all at once.

In more light-hearted, cheery news: JUH-HONNY IS AN ALL-STAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mr. 3000 finally did something right (did anyone else see the ESPN anchors practically pee themselves with excitement talking about him today?!) by withdrawing from the game, and Ron Washington wins the Class Act of the Week award for taking Juh-honny over his own man. Stat-wise, it might have seen like a pretty clear-cut choice, but it's surprising what managers do sometimes. So, go Ron Washington. And go Juh-honny!

Did anyone else hear Rod and Mario be bitches last night and mock a poor fanny-pack-wearing Royals fan? Well, that wasn't the only immature act going on in the baseball broadcasting world last night.  We're sure by now many of you have seen this epic meltdown by the Red Sox announcers last night. Too, too funny. One can only imagine how Rod and Mario would react in the same situation. We see inane giggling from Rod as a possibility, with Mario desperately trying to control the situation. Classic.

Isn't it amazing that our team isn't actually going to lose a series for once? Could it be that our Beloveds will actually...gasp!...win a series?!? Let's hope Charlie (one name only) can help push us into the break with a bang.

AL All-Stars: April in the D Edition

It's about that time of year again, folks: All-Star Voting time. If you haven't voted for Cabrera, Avila, Peralta, or any other deserving Tigers, you need to get off your ass and VOTE. Everybody has their own opinion of who should be starting in Arizona this year. The three of us do too, but we do it a little differently over here.

Instead of being boring and just saying who is most deserving to go (it's getting kind of obvious now), we have decided to spice things up a little. So, we have compiled two AL starting lineups: one based on skill, and one based on, you guessed it, SEX APPEAL. Yes, ladies, this one's for you. You are welcome.

Catcher


Skills: Alex Avila, Detroit Tigers. Kid has been phenomenal this year. We knew he'd be decent, but we never expected him to hit .300 so close to the All-Star break. He's not just hitting well for a catcher anymore--he's hitting well period.

Sexy: Joe Mauer, Minnesota Twins.

 St. Mauer has been the bane of our existence for many years now, but as much as it kills us to say it, he's pretty damn sexy. Ladies, I'm sure you agree with us on this: he could catch our eyes anytime. Bad pun, we're sorry.

First Base


Skills: Adrian Gonzalez, Boston Red Sox. As much as we love Big Mig, Adrian is hitting .350 with an OPS of 1.006 and dominating an already outstanding field of first basemen. Looks like he'll actually start the game, too. Go America!

Sexy: Mitch Moreland, Texas Rangers.

Photo by Elsa/Getty Images North America

Mitchy headed up a weak first baseman class, but despite not having a lot of competition, he is pretty attractive. Just look at that smolder! 

Second Base

Skills: Robinson Cano, New York Yankees. While we hate the Yankees, he's head-and-shoulders above the incredibly weak second base class this year. Just look at our own crappy situation at second base! We miss Polly. 

Sexy: Gordon Beckham, Chicago White Sox.

You may be thinking, "What's wrong with these girls? Two guys from our AL Central rivals?!" We're trying to be objective here, and Beckham is hot in a blond, muscle-y southerner kind of way. Fun fact: he also attended one of our rival high schools! Not that we knew him, but obviously we wish we did.

Third Base

Skills: Adrian Beltre, Texas Rangers. It's a tight race between Beltre, Alex Rodriguez, and Kevin Puke-lis, but we're giving it to Beltre, mostly because we hate the Yankees and Puke-lis on principle. Yeah, we vote fair. 

Sexy: Evan Longaria, Tampa Bay Rays.

So this isn't the best picture of Evan Longoria you've ever seen, but we tried our best, okay?!?!?! But seriously, he's as hot as third basemen get in the American League, apparently. Trust us, we've checked.

Shortstop

Skills: Asdrubal Cabrera, Cleveland Indians. As much as we love and applaud Juh-honny Peralta, Asdrubal has been awesome this year. He should definitely starting this game over the hated Jeter.

Sexy: Elvis Andrus, Texas Rangers.

He may not make the All-Star team this year, but Elvis Andrus definitely qualifies as one of the hottest shortstops around. Look at that smile! 

Designated Hitter

Skills: David Ortiz, Red Sox. After having a couple less-than-stellar seasons, Big Papi is having a monster of a 2011 campaign. Just shows you can never count the big guy out.

Sexy: Victor Martinez, Detroit Tigers.

Since designated hitters are usually player who are, shall we say, past their prime, V-Mart stands out as being significantly sexier than all the other candidates. With his Latin Lover swag and his devil-may-care  attitude, Victor runs away with the crown (but hands off, ladies! Victor is happily married with two beyond-cute children. We don't support homewrecking at April in the D).

Outfield 

Skills: Jose Bautista, Toronto Blue Jays, Curtis Granderson, New York Yankees, Adam Jones, Baltimore Orioles. The best. Period. Bautista and Granderson are hitting with crazy power numbers, and there is no one better defensively than Adam Jones.

Sexy: Austin Jackson, Detroit Tigers, Curtis Granderson, New York Yankees, Matt Joyce, Tampa Bay Rays. 

You know what we realized? Outfielders are really, really good-looking. Can we also add that all three of these strapping young fellows at one time played on the Detroit Tigers? Maybe we're a little biased, but we have also seen these men's glorious looks up-close and personal. In fact, when we met Curtis Granderson, we nearly passed out. Gorgeous. Just gorgeous. 

So, that concludes our AL All-Star picks. We may do the NL as well, but honestly we don't really follow National League ball as much as American League. With that being said, who wouldn't like to see this sexy team take the field?! Hot Damn!!!

Angels in the Outfield

Sorry to all of our many readers (hahahahaha) that we're not posting as frequently. We're pretty busy--its called college. You remember it.
ANYWAYS, Spring Training games are officially underway, and our brilliant team has cranked out a 3-0 start, not that it matters. They took down the hated Yankees yesterday, so that can only be a good thing. Those three wins were mostly thanks to our pitchers, but today we're going to look at a different position(s): the outfield.

So Raburn, AJax, and Magglio seem to have the outfield positions all locked up. Or do they? We are going to take an in-depth look at not just the skills of these ballplayers, but their personality, looks, fan-appeal, looks....you know, the important stuff!


Austin Jackson (AJax)





Probably the only player who is a lock for an outfield spot, Austin Jackson was so good last year that he made us completely forget about Curtis Granderson. This is quite the feat, since we were the girls who openly wept when he was traded. Now, after seeing what a genius Dave Dombrowski is for making that deal, we are AJax's biggest supporters. He's young, attractive, and kind, though he can't get the right enunciation for the phrase "fair share". Even though he'll never be as beloved as Curtis was in the D, it's our firm belief that he'll be much better.

Brennan Boesch (Baby B)



Oh, baby Brennan. After such a successful first half, Brennan failed to impress in the second (and most important) part of the season. Will he win the spot reserve spot this year, or will Casper Wells steal it away from him? Either way, he'll look good doing it--his Cali-boy swag and strong physique have us (Rosie!!!) praying he'll make the 25-man roster. One can only hope that he will produce the same ridiculous stats he racked up in the first half. Yeah, sure.


Casper Wells (Ghostboy)





This Friendly Ghost is poised to overtake Brennan Boesch and fill our team quota of white-baller-who-wishes-he-was-black. Have you seen his tweets?!...Anyway, Ghostboy tore up the Big Leagues in the brief time he was there last year, and we think he will make the roster over Baby B this year. Once he gets more exposure, the fans in the D are probably going to love him. He obviously loves to connect with fans and is proud to be on the Tigers, so more power to him. Plus, he's kind of witty . Who doesn't love that?!

Clete Thomas (The Cleteus)



Ah, Clete. We're slightly embarrassed to say (especially after his performance last year) that we used to have a bit of a Clete Thomas Obsession. So much so that we hated Don Kelly when he came up for Clete in the 2009 season, and always scoffed at Rod Allen for his criticism. Now all of these feelings have passed, and it's time for us to get real about Clete's chances in the bigs this season. We don't think it's going to happen. Despite his redneck charm and deer-in-headlights smolder, Clete would have to have a hell of a spring training to beat out the likes of Don, Casper and Brennan.

Don Kelly (Don Kelly)

Don Kelly can do it all, and that's why he's definitely going to make the squad this year. He can play outfield, third base, first base, and supposedly catcher. There's no way, that with our surplus of injury-prone Venezuelans, we won't need a back-up in SOME position, and Don is the perfect guy to do it. As far as looks go, have you seen this guy in person? TV doesn't do him justice. Too bad he has the cutest kids ever...

Magglio Ordonez (Maggs)





The Tiger's answer to Fabio until he cut his hair, Magglio is the kind of player that makes both coaches and desperate housewives swoon (for very different reasons, obviously). We here at April in the D were terrified that last year would be his last in the Motor City, but Dombrowski flashed his genius once again and Maggs is here to stay (at least for the year)! Hopefully he doesn't run into any health issues -we all saw the affect his absence had on our team last year. So here's looking at a great 2011, Magglio--and please, grow that fabulous hair back.

Ryan Raburn (Ry Ry)

 


There's something about Ryan. You know what we're talking about. Just when you think he's starting to really suck big time, he goes crazy and hit .400 for the month of August. He claims that he does better when he knows he's going to play, and all evidence points that he's telling the truth. If he can be as productive as he was the tail end of last season, he's in for one monster year. We're rooting for ya!

Agree? Disagree? Let us know!

Sound Off!

http://www.foxsportsdetroit.com/pages/aprilinthed

So a few days ago we reported that FSDetroit was about to announce their semifinalists for their much-anticipated April in the D theme song contest. Well, just a day later they revealed their choices for the 10 semifinalists, and we as the constituency must vote for our desired top 3 finalists. You can check out the semifinalists in all of their glory here, and as an added bonus you can read our heartfelt critiques below! We don't claim to be music critics here at April in the D, but we do know what we personally would like to hear every inning during the month of April. We know it has nothing to do with the game of baseball, but...just deal with it! Join us after the jump!

Sweet, Sweet Music

It's funny how, after such a boring offseason, as soon as Spring Training starts everything goes crazy. And not just in bad ways. Miguel is getting help, thank God, so hopefully he will be blasting 400 feet HRs soon enough, in the loving embrace of his Tigers family. Also, today is the day that the whole team reported for the first official full-squad practice! Finally! Finally! After three and a half months of bleak, baseball-less winter, Spring Training is here to bring meaning back into our lives.

If all of that wasn't enough to put a smile on your face, check this out. As we were perusing the web today looking for interesting baseball tidbits, we found this. If you're too lazy to click on the provided link, then we'll just go ahead an tell you what it is: FSDetroit's April in the D song contest 2011!!!!!

Yes, the song that inspired this blog is going to be recreated again for the magical 2011 season. On the website you can find past April in the D song winners from 2008-10. Our personal favorite was The Good Luck Joes' stunning rendition from 2009. That was the soundtrack to my April two years ago. Last year's winner by Victorious Secret was just so-so (they moved on to bigger and better things, though--namely, Freecreditreport.com commercials) but this year's competition holds such promise! 

First of all, the judges: all you need to know here is that Kid Rock is judging. Awesome. Kid Rock knows rock and the D. We also like the choices of Brad Stuart, the sexy accomplished defenseman from the Red Wings, and Mickey York, who is to Tigers Live what Al Roker is to the Today Show. We're not sure what they have to do with music, but they know the D. The other judges (especially ones with names like "Treasure"--what is she, a stripper?) are a little suspect, but overall this is promising!

However, as fun as it may be, we don't think this competition is necessary. We should just have Eminem do it! Hello?! It would be perfect. His new album, in which he shares his struggles with addiction and how he overcame it, is kick-ass. He obviously knows the D and music in general. He's intimidating as hell. All of this embodies our 2011 Detroit Tigers!!!! I mean, obviously people like Clete Thomas and Will Rhymes aren't too intimidating, but we're talking the team as a whole. Would it be good? It would be the sickest April in the D ever. Family friendly? Maybe not, but thats not what we're going for here. We're going for original. 

Despite Eminem or someone just as cool not singing the April in the D theme, we're very excited for this contest, not just because we can't wait to hear the entries, but because April is drawing nearer and nearer. Hurry up, Spring!!!