NoTORIIous

Well!

So, it's been a while. Fifteen days, to be exact. We don't know about you guys, but the three of us needed to take a breather from baseball. There is still too much pain after that World Series From Hell, and we needed to to remove ourselves from that situation.

But, as per usual, the game we love sucks us back in, in none other than the form of a notorious, card-carrying Tiger Killer, Torii Hunter. When we first read about the Tigers showing interest in the slick-fielding outfielder, our interest was piqued, but we didn't pay too much attention to it. We knew other teams were interested in him, and we figured Torii would need to take some time to weigh his options.

We were so, so wrong.

Torii Hunter doesn't wait for you to contact him, HE goes out and contacts YOU. We have never heard of a player pitch himself so strongly and confidently to a team, let alone our own Tigers. Remember when Dombrowski & Co. had to beg people to play in the D? Those days are clearly long, long gone. Now we have All-Star Gold Glove winners banging on our door, demanding to be let on the American League Championship team.

Times, they have a'changed. To put it crudely, the Tigers are suddenly the hottest bitches on the block, and everyone wants a go. Best part is, everyones on the same page: Hunter wants a WS ring. So does Illitch. The time is now.

Do people even realize what has happened? We have gone from Delmon Young and Brennan Boesch to Victor Martinez and Torii Hunter. In what world does this happen? Yankee Land, maybe, but not in Detroit. This is absolutely crazy.

So we guess it's time to cross Mr. Hunter of our hate list and nestle him in our hearts, because he is now One Of Us. It only makes it that much sweeter that Torii wanted to play in the Old English D. What can we say? We're an appealing club.

We will address the issue of JV's Cy Young loss and Miggy's impending MVP decision (gulp!) soon. Right now, let us bask in the glow of another already successful offseason.

These Times...

…they definitely are a-changin'.


Over the past few days the Tigers have suffered a few casualties of the offseason, and while we think these moves were definitely made for the good of the club, we can't help but mourn the loss of some of our quirkiest personalities.

Goodbye, Ryan Perry (Agent P). We loved your cute baby face (which was sometimes adorned with ill-advised flesh-colored facial hair), 6-4 frame, and, of course, your tattoo sleeve which was badass and really sexy. Your inconsistencies and postseason woes aside, we loved having you on our team if only for the fact that you made a great RP-duo with your roommate, Rick Porcello. You will be missed.

Farewell, Will Rhymes (Mighty Mouse). You surprised us all with your scrappiness and grit when you came up during the 2010 season, and you shocked us more when you hustle and pluck won you a spot as the starting second-baseman in April. Unfortunately for you the job was to be short-lived, but your hilarious (and sometimes biting) tweets were to continue. So goodbye, Will Rhymes. Stay cool. Stay scrappy. Stay small.

Also, peace out, TigerFest (?!?!?!?!). We really, really, reeeallllyy wanted to go this year to stalk see all our favorite players and pester them ask them lots of questions, but it was not to be. Construction to our beloved Comerica Park is the one thing standing in the way of the three of us going to the Promised Land  TigerFest. FINE. If that's the way Marketing wants to play it this year, whatever. Pffffft. Who really wants to meet Justin Verlander anyway????

Some good news, though. Welcome to the D, Octavio Dotel! A (good) veteran long-reliever is exactly what our already solid bullpen needs. With Dotel, Coke, Alburquerque, Benoit and Valverde, our bullpen will have the depth that it most decidedly did not have last year. He also says he "feels like I'm at my house" since he knows most, if not all, of the Latino players on the big league roster. This can only help the feeling of camaraderie that our team already has. Team chemistry never hurts!

Plus, we really like his name. Octavio. How very cool.

Another addition to our above-average bullpen, we welcome Collin Balester to the fold. We don't know too much about him yet, but he has a twitter and he can grow a fierce mustache. These things only work in his favor, to be quite honest. Could it be, personality-wise at least, that we have a new Casper Wells on our hands?! We can only hope.

We're sure the Tigers front office, spearheaded by our fearless leader Dave Dombrowski, will make some more offseason moves in the near future (Yoennis Cespedes, anyone?). In the meantime, we can make our peace with the loss of two fine players, and welcome our new, better ones. Out with the old, in with the new!