A Detroit Tigers Blog with a Feminine Touch

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Offseason Blues

Withdrawal. It's a bitch, isn't it?

Seriously, though. Sorry we haven't been updating very often, but when you'e busy counting down the days until Spring Training and whiling away the hours moaning and being jealous of stupid football and hockey fans, you lose track of time.

WE JUST WANT BASEBALL BACK. Good thing we have about three and a half months to go, which doesn't seem like a long time, until you think about the fact that the offseason has been going on for only about three weeks. It also seems longer when you think about the snow and the cold and indoor sports and no sun or warmth or baseball.

So, what does one do when faced with the endless and dreaded winter/offseason two-for-one special from Hell? We have a few ideas.

April in the D's Official Offseason To-Do List
1) Check Bless You Boys (www.blessyouboys.com) often. They have the best/most interesting Tigers coverage in the offseason, if not year round.
2) Stare at this picture of Verlander and the Italian Stallion from their recent jaunt to a Jets game. Studs. Note the grammar.
3) Come up with a dream offseason wish-list that includes Martin Prado, Roy Oswalt, and Amaris Ramirez. Then send to Tigers' front office. Thats all we want for Christmas, Santa Dave Dombrowski!
4) Watch replays of ALDS Game 5. A sweet, sweet victory that includes bragging rights until next year against the d-bags in New Yawk. SUCK IT.
5) Pray on a nightly basis that Gene Lamont is going the Red Sox. Killing two birds with one stone, as far as we're concerned…
6) Beat the cold by snuggling with a loved one in a cozy Detroit Tigers Snuggie. Yes, they exist. Yes, we want one!
7) Read this hilarious new blog by Phil Coke's Brain of Twitter fame. The perfect way to cheer you up during frequent bouts of offseason depression!
8) Pray that the FSD Girls are gone by next year (we're sure we're in the minority on this one).
9) If the FSD girls are NOT gone, pray that certain Tigers players make sexy, distracting appearances on FSD commercials too. Equal opportunity, people, equal opportunity.
10) Make a pilgrimage to Comerica Park. Try to break in and, if successful, go roll around on the field. It will likely be snowing, but it don't matter!!!
11) Go to TigerFest! We really hope the three of us can go this year…
12) Send Nicotine patches to Jim Leyland as a Christmas/Hanukkah gift.
13) Produce endorphins by running in the cold. To get your lazy winter butt out of the house, tell yourself that this is what Doug Fister is doing (he's a runner, if you didn't know)
14) Attempt to see and photograph Doug Fister actually running.
15) Watch football and comment on how much Joe Buck sucks at commentating on any sport.

Well, there you have it! 15 ways to waste time until pitchers and catchers report. In all seriousness, it will be interesting to see what happens next week when the MVP winners are announced. We would say that tomorrow's Cy Young announcement would be interesting, but lets face it: this has been Verlander's award since July. Wrap it up, JV. Wrap it up.

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