On the Prowl

Dear gawd, the last few days have been stressful. We have to keep reminding ourselves to breathe. At least with that rain out last night we had some time to relax, but now we find ourselves more anxious/nervous/excited than ever.

First of all, mad, mad props to the Royals and the Angels for taking care of the White Sox for us. Man, when our boys lost on Thursday and we thought we were going to be set back 3 games, we were not happy. Luckily, Kansas City came through in the end and the Angels soundly defeated Chicago two nights in a row. Coupled with the Tigers' sound beating of the Twins today, this puts our boys at .5 games back. With two more games at home and three away against Minnesota, our boys can hopefully do some damage and gain even more ground on those nasty Sox.

But we're going to put the playoff race aside for a second (seriously) and focus on the one guy on this team who has been kicking ass and taking names and doing everything (and more) that was expected from him since day one. You know him, you love him, and you're all rooting for him to win the MVP this year. That man is


Miguel Cabrera (a.k.a. Miggy Poco)

Miggy has done some amazing work in his career with the Tigers, but nothing quite like this. Not only is he (along with Mike Trout, but whatevs) the frontrunner for the American League MVP, but he also has a chance--an actual, real, this-is-really-possible chance--to win the first Triple Crown since 1967. He's leading in average and RBI and is tied with Josh Hamilton for the lead in home runs. In fact, he is leading the MAJORS in RBI and homers, and unless you count Melky Cabrera (which we're not) Miggy only trails Andrew McCutchen by .004 in average.

That is some serious skill. Considering that Cabrera was trailing in both average and (more considerably) homers as recently as last week makes this amazing playoff/triple crown push even more impressive. If he keeps anywhere near on the same pace for the next twelve games, we see no reason why he shouldn't win the MVP. Especially if the Tigers put their big boy pants on and play like we know they can.

Speaking of playoffs--by the end of the day, our boys could be in first place. Seeing how devastating Monday was for all of us, and how bleak our playoff chances looked, this is huge. Seven games against perennial spoiler Kansas City looks a little daunting, but mixed with five more against Minnesota we should be able to get a fair amount of wins. Plus, the White Sox still have to finish their series against the Angels and then take on the Indians and four games against the playoff-caliber Rays. Our boys definitely have the easier schedule. The question is, can they--and especially Miggy--take advantage of it?

It really is now or never, for not only the playoffs but also for a very exciting Triple Crown push by Miguel Cabrera. Watch out, White Sox, and watch out Carl Yastrzemski. Miguel Cabrera and the Tigers are coming for you.

Getting Nervous?

What the f****** f*** was the last two days?

Before yesterday and today's games went down, our boys were enjoying a nice, easy breezy 4-game win streak courtesy of the Chi Sox and the Indians. Then we blow a lead in the 9th yesterday (thanks, Papa Grande!) to watch those hapless racist idiots walk off against us. Always fun. Next, we watch a potentially season-determining make-up game against the White Sox go up in smoke thanks to poor managing, shitty defense (ITS A DOUBLE PLAY NOT ROCKET SCIENCE), shaky starting pitching and non-clutch hitting.

Not exactly how you want to play a game that might decide the fate of the 2012 season.

We guess there's no point in really talking about how startlingly disappointing that game was. Yes, we have over two weeks left, but our boys just looked bad out there today, with the only bright spot courtesy of Miguel Cabrera's mini-me, Avisail Garcia. He was exciting! But not much else was.

Can we just talk for a moment about Miguel Cabrera? And how sorry we feel for him that he's stuck with these idiots? And how if he doesn't win the MVP, and the snot-nosed kid out in Los Angeles does, we're probably going to riot? It sickens us how overlooked this guy is. Leading the AL in RBI and average and fourth in homers. What is Trout leading in? Runs. And Stollen Bases, but whatever. Excuse me, but no one currrs about runs, and stolen bases is nice, but it doesn't win games. This kid is definitely winning Rookie of the Year, but no way, no way should he win the MVP over Cabrera, especially if we make the playoffs. The only way we can see Trout winning is if he sparks the Angels to a wild card spot, AND the Tigers don't make the playoffs. Thats. The. Only. Way.

Miguel Cabrera has been too good for too long to not get this award. He's played injured. At times he's carried our entire team offensively. And he still has a legit chance for a TRIPLE CROWN. Miggy is not going to be and should not be denied this time around, folks, no matter how sexy voting for a rookie may be. If we DO make the playoffs, it will be in large part because of him. He is seriously the silver lining to these shitty couple of days  months.

And that brings us back to the topic of the playoffs. Oh my god, we are so nervous. We are so DEVASTATED. We promised ourselves we wouldn't get as emotionally in invested this year, but we failed. We wouldn't be true Tiger fans if we didn't put our entire heart and soul into willing our boys to win the pennant! However, PTSD of Game 163 still flashes in our minds. We're not sure if our psyches can handle another close finish with us on the losing end, and we bet many of you would agree.

It looks like we'll have pretty evenly matched schedules, what with six games against Minnesota remaining for us and six games against the Indians for them. Unfortunately, Oakland and the spoilerific Kansas City Royals will NOT be a cakewalk. And with a mere 16 games left, there's no time to mess around (you hear us, Valverde? You too, Infante. And Christ alive, get Brennan Boesch off the field!). Shit is now REAL.

Buckle up, kids. It's going to be a bumpy (and frightening. And stressful. And maybe, maybe amazing) 2 weeks. We hope you're ready!

Ain't Nobody Got Time For This

We're sure some people get a huge kick out of a superclose playoff race. The idea of the Tigers coming from behind in the last weeks--no, days--of the season probably gets some people going. Okay. We respect that. Pennant races are an exciting thing, especially when it's do-or-die for a playoff spot! So to you thrill-seekers, risk-takers, horror-movie lovers: this playoff season is for you!!!

However, to the vast majority of us, our thoughts can only be summed up thusly:

That's right, Sweet Brown. Ain't NOBODY got time for the shit that the Tigers are pulling. After a disappointing series against the god-awful Indians, Jim Leyland & Co. decide to play twisted games with our hearts and minds by being SWEPT by the Boy Wonder and his team out in La La Land. We just have to say something really quick about the Angels--shouldn't they be a lot better than they are playing right now? I mean, holy crow, look at that lineup! Look at that rotation! The should at least be in 2nd place in the West! But we digress. It is the Tigers (many) problems and errors we should be worried about, not some other team.

I mean, what the hell was that out in LA? An unmitigated disaster, for sure, but can we please just look at the state of our offense? Pathetic. And the state of Justin Verlander? I mean, we know he is but one man, and a mortal man at that, but holy crap this is not the time for our ace to choke. It is also not the time for our offense to let down our other starters (Sanchez, Scherzer) when they throw a good game.

(Luckily, Kansas City is playing their troll role to perfection once more and took 2 out of 3 from the Sox. Beautifully done! Of course, we wouldn't mind if they played like poo against our boys.)

And then of course we get to Chicago. After we were humiliated in game one, the three of us were about to shoot off an R-rated, rage-fueled post that would make our few readers remaining to us run screaming. However, lack of time due to school-work-anger delayed this post one day, and we're happy it did. Mister Fister pitched splendidly and the offense-gasp!-actually came through in the clutch.

So now here we are, back in the usual spot of two-games-back-with-two-to-play against the White Sox. Our best (we think) two pitchers are on the mound, and hopefully our offense can get inspired enough to back them up. HOPEFULLY our team can do this for us, so we can continue this heart-attack of a season with slightly better footing. 

But seriously, Tigers: no one wants to watch this up-and-down bullcrap anymore. Just win the games you should be winning. For our sakes, and for yours.

Road Warriors

That last home stand was key for our boys. Key. They HAD to win the series against the White Sox, and they did one better--they swept it. Unfortunately, they then went on to miss opportunities left and right and lose 2 out of 3 game to those troll Indians. A 4-2 home stand isn't bad at all, but it is disappointing to see our hitters struggle against one of the MLB's worst teams.

Whatever. Shake it off. 4-2 is still good! A game behind is so manageable! Plus, there are more important things to think about, since clearly our boys want to make September as interesting as possible. We have what can only be described as a difficult road ahead of us for the next ten games. We're not even talking about the players at this point, we're talking about the fans. Staying up to watch a game that ends at 1 is not our cup of tea, but dammit, we'll do it. We'll do it for our team.

The Tigers themselves have an interesting road, too. The Angels and then the Indians again? Talk about a tough six games. Sure, Indians suck, but they have given our boys fits over the course of the season. Plus there is no home-field advantage this time. And the Angels? Any Tigers vs. Angels game is fun to watch post-Guillen, but what we're really interested in is Mike Trout vs. Miguel Cabrera. To us, there is no contest on who should get the MVP, especially if the Tigs make the postseason and the Halos don't, but we guess only time will tell.

And then of course come our good buddies, the White Sox. Obviously we do better at home against them than on the road, but wouldn't it be fantastic if we could at least go 3-1 and move into first place for good? Of course, we first would have to not get beaten soundly by our opponents on the West Coast.

This is without a doubt our hardest road series left, and maybe our most important too. If we lose all three series, I doubt our boys will be able to climb out of that hole. But if we win…well, that would not only put us in a good position to win the pennant, but would also foreshadow a team who could make a significant playoff run.

One last note to the fans: the world is not going to end, the season is not going to shatter if our boys get a few losses. We still have a lot of baseball left. Deep breaths, people. We can do this together.

EDIT: Our dumb butts mixed up the Indians series with the A' series (which will be at Comerica). Look what these Tigers are doing to us!

You Drive Me Crazy: A Rant

Are you F***ING kidding us?

What was that series? No, really, what was it? Our offense shows up for one night, and not only do we lose by one run, it's the one night that Verlander pitches like a middle schooler? The next two nights our team loses AGAIN by one run (!) after Anibal Sanchez and Rick Porcello give up 1 and 2 runs, respectively(!!!)???

Kansas City has definitely played the roll of spoiler before. Why should now be any different? We'll tell you why. Because our team is BETTER THAN THIS. They do not suck. They can still win it. But that was the worst series of the year, by far BAR NONE. Offense, get yo shit together. We have Prince Fielder and Miguel Cabrera (albeit injured) on the SAME TEAM. COME ON. Justin Verlander: hello?!? Is precious Kate Upton distracting you or are you just being severely un-clutch? This is the playoff push, guys. This is where we go hard or go home.

Please be advised: we are not panicking. We can still do this. Please--we have seven games head-to-head against the White Sox. Anything can happen. Props to them, by the way, for TRYING to at least let us get within a game of them. It seems like our last open plea worked! Unfortunately, our boys didn't listen. And that is the heart of this post. Pure, unbridled frustration. Seeing all this potential and skill and AWESOMENESS all on one team go to waste with bullshit games like that. If we want to make it to the playoffs, we are going to have to collect our shit, take the series from the White Sox this weekend, and play like we know we can play.

But really. The goddamn Royals? Swept?? Is this real life???

If the Tigers are anywhere near as pissed and mad and fired up as we are right now (we guarantee that they are) then they need to take out all that rage on those idiots from Chicago. With Fister, Scherzer, and Verlander taking the mound, we can smell a series win. If our boys play like we know they can.

An Open Letter to the Chicago White Sox

Dear Chicago White Sox Players, Coaches, and Staff,

Hello there! We know you don't know us, and we don't know you, but we certainly know of you. How are you guys? Enjoying first place? It must be nice at the top with a somewhat-cozy 2.5 game lead over the Detroit Tigers. Yeah, if you couldn't tell by now, we'r pretty big Tigers fans. And we actually have a favor to ask of you guys. A proposition, if you will.

Please. Stop. Winning. It's not fair and it doesn't make sense. Seriously, just look at you guys on paper! Let us tell you something that we're not sure you're completely aware of: you're playing way better than anyone ever expected. Call us naive, call us stupid, but we think we weren't the only ones that predicted you White Sox to be a big pile of dog crap this year. 

Even after you guys had a pretty great first half, the three of us thought that it wasn't going to get much better than that. Just like the Cleveland Indians of last year, your team was supposed to fade as our Tigers came roaring into the lead, a lead which they would never relinquish. Except things didn't go quite as planned. Our boys emerged from their first half woes to become somewhat respectable. That was all we thought we needed, right? Wrong. Your team hasn't done the whole showing-your-true-colors-and-fading-into-the-background. Oh, no. You are just as pesky as ever.

The Tigers are doing (mostly) everything they can. Shoddy defense and sporadic hitting aside, Miggy Poco & Co. have been doing their level best to take names and win (most) series. Admittedly, they could be playing better. They actually could be dominating right about now. But whatever! That's not the point. YOU, Chicago White Sox organization, need to work a little harder at losing. We don't like this whole "five game win streak" thing. Cut it out.

Even if you fools do something stupid like win tonight and put yourselves 3 games up on our boys, it won't matter in the end. Because STILL, after ALL THIS TIME we are confident that our Tigs will take the Central. Even it if it means a dramatic end-of-season finish. Sure, we'll need our defibrillators at the ready, but whatever. The Tigers have traveled this cardiac-inducing road recently (2009, anyone?) and learned from our mistakes (Game 163, anyone?). They'll be ready for you, not only in head-to-head combat but also the gradual grinding out wins over the next month. THEY'RE COMING FOR YOU, CHICAGO.

In the mean time, please, please, please do us a favor, and roll over and die. Really. We'd appreciate it. Stick to trying to get the Wild Card, or something. Because this division title? Yeah. It's staying in Detroit.

You Have Been Warned.

Love,

April in the D

It's Go Time

We're not so big on finality here. Now or never? Not really our thing. It's never over until it really actually is over in our minds.

So when people say that the Tigers need to make the playoff push NOW, we technically should just roll our eyes and scoff. But these Debbie Downers are actually right. The Tigers have been basically playing it safe and just kind of "hanging in there" instead of really pushing forward like last year and seizing the AL Central. To be blunt, it's time for our boys to stop dicking around and start winning consistently. It's GO TIME.

Looking at our remaining schedule, it is apparent that with all of our games against the Indians, Twins, and Royals, there should be a lot of series wins over the next month and a half. Besides two series against the Angels and one against the Athletics (featuring the return of Brandon Inge) it looks like our boys should have a fairly easy schedule. Emphasis on 'should.' Oh, and of course we have seven games  against the White Sox, three of which are at home. Bring. It. Awn.

It's never exactly heartening to see our boys lose 2 of 3 to the Orioles. At home. Not the best time for a Doug Fister pitching meltdown, either. Even though this is no time to panic, there still needs to be a sense of urgency around our team. We have faith that out resident MVP of the world, Miguel Cabrera, and his resident sidekick Prince Fielder will help save the day in any way they can.

Our boys are ready. They had an off day. They're well-rested. They can handle the Blue Jays, and all the other teams they face. It's our jobs as fans to root them on to overcome this 2-game deficit and overtake the White Sox. It's go time.