We have a new Obsession. He is young. He is talented. He is plucky. So obviously, upon seeing him for the first time we felt obliged to anoint him with his very own April in the D Nickname.
He is now Duane "Bumble" Below.
At first we just said "Bumble Below" just so we knew how to pronounce his name, but it stuck, and we like it, and it's cute, and he's cute, and his parents are cute (did you see them crying at his first game?!!? Precious!!!!!!) and his friends came to his game in Chicago, and we have fallen for him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Of course, this means that he will probably be traded soon, or sent down soon, because this seems to happen whenever we become too attached to a player. We should add that our Obsessions are not very rational; Bumblebee is neither the best nor the most attractive pitcher on this team, let alone the best player. But hell, we were Obsessed with Clete Thomas in 2009, for no reason besides the fact that he looked as startled as a fawn on ecstasy whenever he came up to bat.
But Below is a little different, because he actually has talent, and we do NOT blame him for the loss today against the evil, horrible, mean Chicago White Sox. Would it kill our above-average offense to give him a little more run support?!?!!?!?! No, we think not. We don't care that they were facing the White Sox's Ace. Eff that.
We kid, obviously. If there was a matchup that we expected to lose this series, it was Buehrle vs. Bumblebee. And it was sad to see that our newest rookie Chase Ruffin (what a friggin' awesome name) (and also, this kid has Personality. Our bullpen is now officially Very Weird) be the one to be thrown into a bases-loaded jam in his Major League debut. Whateva. We'll take the next two with Verlander and Scherz on the mound, and hopefully Cleveland won't get anymore of their stupid bullshit walk-off wins and we can regain some control over the AL Central.
But in the future, can we please get Duane Below the win? Before he gets traded/goes down/hits the DL? Please? He is too adorable to waste.
PS-have you seen him without a baseball cap on? He's balding. Well, whatever. He may not be as glorious as Kid Rick, but he's still adorable to us!!!!!!!