A Detroit Tigers Blog with a Feminine Touch

Monday, February 21, 2011

Beam Me Up Scotty!

As many of you know, we have a lot of talent and potential at the second base position.  Carlos Guillen, a veteran and fan-favorite, continually has pop in his bat and has played second base incredibly well, but we have a lot of fresh young boys--Mighty Mouse (Will Rhymes), Scott Sizemore, and danny worth--who could do the job as well.   Earlier this week on DesigNateRoberson(a great and very funny Tigers blog if you haven't checked it out), the second basemen were compared by many variables, which inspired us over here to look, in depth, at what makes baseball players important.


So why don't we start with who really should get the job?

Carlos Guillen

Although he has great numbers
(Career .286 AVG, and .801 OPS, our personal favorite statistic, (PLUS he hit .320 in '05 and '06)),
he still manages to look so bad in every picture he takes! How does he have a double chin? He's an infielder!  We've also heard that he's a flirt, which we guess is a plus, but that's about all he has going for him.
Okay, in truth, Carlos is a fantastic player, and has done a lot for the Tigers in the past (the magical '06 season, to be sure).  He may be a little old and fragile right now, but if the Tigers were to base their second baseman choice on experience and skill, then he would be the choice.  But, obviously, the Tigers need to account for "other" factors... so on to the backups.

Will Rhymes

Everyone loves Mighty Mouse.  Everyone.  But let's take a look at his statistics, shall we?
5'9, 155lbs, and greasy hair that looks like a 70's porn star. 
Will is great because of the way he involves the fans in everything that he does. And on the plus side, he's got intelligence: he graduated from William and Mary with a degree in molecular biology, so when he's too old for baseball he can be a famous doctor or something; but we're not gold diggers here at April in the D, we pick our men based on APPEARANCES...not income.
In real life, Will has proved himself in his limited time in the majors.  In 191 AB he's hit .304 with 19 RBI and an acceptable OPS of .763. His main competition comes from our last contender, last year's starting second baseman:

Scott Sizemore

Good Lord!! The guy that just last year Jim Leyland said was "as pale as a milk bottle" is stronger, faster, and better looking than ever!  Let's see one more:


So nice.  Scotty has amazing minor league numbers, but when he came up to the big leagues last year,  despite us all rooting for him, he kind of crashed and burned.  According to Leyland though, he's looking better than ever.  Although his major league numbers are worse than Rhymes' (143 AB, . 224 AVG, 14 RBI, .631 OPS)  he has a larger range than Will (maybe because he's +3 inches?), and is much better at turning the double play.  We believe, here at April in the D, that THIS one deserves the job!  (Just look at those eyes! Good lord!)

Here's lookin' at you, Scott!


  1. Poor Placido Polanco woulda never stood a chance with you girls.

    Poor Mr. Potato Head...

  2. Not true! We LOVE Polly. He is dearly missed.

    Also, if he was still here (as he should be), we wouldn't be having this debate in the first place!!!