Pools of Sorrow, Waves of…More Sorrow

*SOB*

"In this long and lonely offseason, it's almost safe to say that any news is good news. Almost."
-April in the D, 1/16/12 (yesterday)

YEAH. That's a pretty freaking big almost.

Here we are, crying and whining about how boring this offseason is. How uneventful the past few months have been. Well, boo f**king hoo, because karma bit us and all the other greedy Tiger fans in the butt. In case you haven't heard, one of the best hitters and strongest leaders on the team, Victor Martinez, tore his ACL and is expected to undergo surgery. Surgery that would most likely sideline him for THE REST OF THE YEAR.

We don't know about the rest of you, but the three of us reacted in the following ways:
1) Tears. Many Tears.
2) Waves of Nausea
3) Strong Language
4) Equally Strong Desire to Punch a Wall
5) Fervent Denial ("Stupid internet rumors! THEY'RE SO SILLY")
6) Wild Conspiracy Theories ("Those nasty Yankees are getting back at us! THEY DID THIS")
7) Dark Acceptance ("Of course this would happen to us. The Tigers have the worst luck ever")


Poor, sweet V-Mart. What did he do to deserve such a thing? Of course it would happen to someone as glorious and good and leadership-y as him. It seriously couldn't have happened to anyone on the Rangers? They're dripping with offensive talent. Or what about Milton Bradley? He's a dick! Nooooo, it had to happen to Father of the Century Victor Martinez, a man who's on a team that, offensively, is wildly uneven talent-wise.

The reason we resisted posting this a few hours earlier was because the wounds were still fresh and painful. The wounds are still fresh and painful now, but we have moved on from Dark Acceptance and have reached

8) Looking Forward

V-Mart is good and gone for at least the first three quarters of the season. So now it is up to our fearless leader, Dave Dombrowski, to do his job and find us a replacement. Now he has some options; he could find a tried-and-true DH (like Vladimir Guerrero…we like that idea) and keep the rest of the lineup as is, or he could find a new left fielder (like Yoennis Cespedes…intriguing) or second baseman and move Delmon Young to DH. Another option, of course, is to find a replacement internally (like putting Ryan Raburn in the outfield).

We don't know about you, but to us there is nothing quite as horrifying as losing V-Mart and then replacing him with Ryan "I Suck Big in the First Half" Raburn. Look, we like Ryan Raburn. He has his pros, but he also most definitely has his cons. The three of us don't think that the Detroit system has enough talent to fill in for Victor Martinez effectively and efficiently.

No one is going to be able to fully replace V-Mart. Duh. And certainly no one is going to replace Little Victor. But this awful situation reminds us of another unfortunate event that happened around this time last year. Miguel Cabrera was arrested for a DUI, and many writers and media personalities and "fans" said that it would bring Miggy down and cripple the team. Jim Leyland called that bullshit, and Cabrera went on to win the batting title and lead his team to an ALCS appearance.

This team is tough. They know how to deal with hard situations. If the 2012 Tigers are anything like the 2011 squad, they can bounce back from this.

Of course, Dave has to come through on his end. We wait with baited breath on who he will bring in (if anyone…shudder) to help make something good out of this situation.